Journal of Mistress Kat

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Title: Metamorphosis
Author:kat_lair
Fandom: 방탄소년단 | Bangtan Boys | BTS
Character: Kim Namjoon | RM, Kim Seokjin | Jin, Min Yoongi | Suga, Jung Hoseok | J-Hope, Park Jimin (BTS), Kim Taehyung | V, Jeon Jungkook
Tags: Metamorphosis, Ambiguous Relationships, OT7, Ambiguous/Open Ending, Alternate Universe - Magical Realism, Ficlet
Rating: G
Word count: 544

Summary: The scales appear slowly. They bloom across his arms, like cherry blossoms opening in the spring, pale pink at first before deepening into fiery crimson.

Author notes: Picked some spring themed prompts to get me out of a writing slump. This was for the prompt 'metamorphosis'. Unbetaed so if you spot a typo or mistake you should tell me.

Metamorphosis on AO3

( Metamorphosis )
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Title: foreign(er)
Author: kat_lair,
Fandom: BTS
Characters: Kim Namjoon|RM + his boys
Tags: Ficlet, Belonging, Multilingual Character, Interviews
Rating: G
Word count: 816

Summary: The travel is a privilege. This country is not, it’s just one among many, not as great as many of its people think, not as terrible as some paint it, a mix of good and bad. Namjoon’s found that to be the case in every country he’s visited, including his own.

Author notes: Written as a response to a prompt 'foreigner'

foreign(er) on AO3

( foreign(er) )

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Finishing things has not been a strong suite over the last two months. I have two more books midway through and one film that I started and haven't finished yet. But anyway, here we are:


Books:

White Smoke by Tiffany D. Jackson - Marigold is moving to a new house in a new town with her mum, kid brother, her mum's new husband and his daughter. Sounds like a lot even before you add anxiety, bedbug phobia, and a complicated relationship with some mind-altering substances into the mix. Oh and possibly ghosts. Okay, look, I really liked 95% of this book. The characters were all real, the haunted house trope was well written and then got twisted into something worse/better that provided that kind of social commentary about class and race that wasn't like, subtle, but was True, and then... It ended. Before anything really got properly revealed or resolved beyond the surface mystery, not even the family relationships and I am Big Mad about it. Like yeah, none of that shit gets resolved quickly in real life, I fucking get it, but c'mon! This was the epitome of the 'ambiguous/open ending' tag, don't read if you're not prepared to deal with that.

Black Wings Beating by Alex London (Book 1 of 3 I assume) - In a civilisation built around birds (using them, worshipping them, hating them) twins Kylee and Brysen set out to capture the near legendary ghost eagle for reasons that start personal but end up having much broader consequences to the destiny of nations. There were a lot of things in this book I liked: really interesting world-building, no one was perfect, queer and POC representation, plot that means I will definitely want to read the follow-ups. There were also some things in this book I didn't like, not because they were bad writing or bad story choices but more like they were challenging/difficult to read but actually important for the plot and characters. Namely: child abuse, animal abuse, and some pretty graphic violence overall. Also, the flipside of making your characters realistically imperfect is that I spent most of the book wanting to shake some sense into one of the twins because omfg... but yeah, he's gonna grow some sense himself I think as the story progresses. Yes, would recommend, but 'mind the tags'.


Media

The Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt - I finished all 5 series of this on Netflix over the last couple of months and on the whole I enjoyed it a lot. It was the perfect 'I need something funny but no thinking required and queer friendly to watch to distract me from grief and general stress' choice. The ending was a bit, idk, bland. And in my heart, I still love the potential of Kimmy/Jacqueline even though I knew that was never going to be a serious possibility.

Hannah Gadsby's Gender Agenda - I love Hannah Gadsby, I really do, and she was still hands down the funniest (unsurprisingly, given the level of experience) comedians in this showcase. As always with something that includes short sets from about six different and diverse performers, I didn't gel with everyone's style, but I definitely laughed a lot during the hour and something. Would recommend, if you want to like reaffirm your faith in humanity a bit and need a break from some of the transphobic rhetoric of mainstream media.

The Extraordinary Attorney Woo - I enjoyed this a whole lot despite some scenes and plot points being a bit hard on my public humiliation squick. I was pleasantly surprised that the love triangle wasn't actually dragged on and the 'other woman' was not made a villain in any way. All the characters were interesting and not just straightforwardly great or awful. In case you're wondering, Jung Myeong-seok is my fave (he is Trying, in a way that is long-suffering but ultimately kind, and also he is cute af, cannot believe what they put that man through during the last few eps too!). The main romance was sweet but without shying away from the challenges. I was impressed with the breadth of social issues and representation included, as well as the variety of relationships beyond romantic that were portrayed.

Agust D Tour 'D-DAY' the Movie - Absolutely worth the price to watch this at the theatre. I was pleasantly surprised to find almost twenty local army at the theatre with me, many of whom were cheering and clapping as if it was a live concert, which was adorable. Okay, the show itself. I had. Many Emotions. Look, firstly, Yoongi is absolutely one of my two main BTS biases, no question. Secondly, have you met my competency kink? Thirdly... It was somehow... softer, than I was expecting. Which isn't to say Yoongi wasn't spitting fire and dominating the stage, because he absolutely was. The first three songs were a repeated slap to the face, kicking of with Haegum, followed immediately by Deachwita and Agust-D without a pause. There was also an absolutely relentless back-to-back medley of his parts of the Cypher 3, Cypher 4, Ddaeng and Ugh. But even through all of the more upbeat/aggressive songs, Yoongi stayed open and present, there was a palpable feeling of connection with the audience and several points he was singing/rapping with the audience rather than at them. This was even more pronounced during the slower song like Seesaw (ugh, my heart, this is one of my favourites) or The Last. We got guest appearences from Jungkook (Burn It, again one of my favourites), Jimin (Tony Montana, lolll) and Namjoon (Strange, the set up for this and the song gives me feelings, as did the contrast of Namjoon with his military buzzcut and more controlled presence in comparison to Yoongi's looser, more flowing presence. and hair, lol). I also enjoyed the choice of Yoongi being carried onto the stage at the start of the show and off it at the end of Amygdala. And by 'enjoyed' I obviously mean 'felt pain in my heart in all the good ways'.

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Wow Kat, what's that sound? Well, glad you asked. It's the sound of me SMASHING through my 75k getyourwordsout goal! BOOM! We're currently >78k and there's still a day to go.

*smug*

Much of the words came from a) co-writing done with dreamersdare and b) because I churned over 24k for Spooktober fics/ficlets, even if some of that churning happened after Christmas lol. Posting most of them back-to-back was a really interesting experience actually and I have some reflections.

( (under the cut, it's all very self indulgent) )


I was always going to do a Spooktober Masterlist for my own amusement. I know I'm about to list all of these for the 2023 Fic Round Up soon (well... Sometime in Jan?) anyway but there everything will be by fandom so let me just induldge my love of lists *pets the list* so, here, Spooktober Fics in posting order (links will take you to AO3 but if you prefer DW for reading, everything is under the spooktober 2023 tag.

( List under a cut due to length! )

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I have signed up getyourwordsout again because I love their spreadsheets. I've gone for the 150k optimistically even though I've never achieved that. It's good to have goals or something?

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Finally, I wanted to flail about being podficced!!

The lovely pezzax_podfics podficced under his wing (TXT, Choi Soobin/Choi Yeonjun) and turned a tiny ficlet into a full-blown audio drama with music and sound effects and it is so, so extremely cool I absolutely lost mine when listening. Also, please appreciate the cover art! (akdkjsj wings!)

The most awesome pieces0fstars podficced Volcano (Stray Kids, Han Jisung/Lee Minho) and holy shit the emotional impact the recording packs... Look, I obviously had a lot of emotions about the concepts which I wrote immediately after the song dropped. But the thing is, I wrote the fic so I knew what was in the fucker and yet, YET, I was absolutely choked up, clutching my heart, because the performance got that exact frayed, desperate edge I tried to convey in words and... Yeah, please listen.

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This amused me deeply, from our group convo yesterday:

dreamersdare: How go our respective writing endeavours?
kat_lair: Slowly, the bastarding 'ficlet' is 2,7k now 🙄🙄🙄
kat_lair: Oh FFS apparently they want to have sex on page now when I just wanted to finish thing with a kiss 🤨🤨🤨
pushkin666: 🤣🤣🤣
dreamersdare: Sure sounds like a hardship
pushkin666: Hee. She said 'hard'. Is 12.
dreamersdare: 🤣
kat_lair: IT IS FOR ME BUT APPARENTLY YOONGI IS NOT GONNA LET NAMJOON KEEP IT IN HIS PANTS
pushkin666: Go for it Yoongi.
dreamersdare: Look, I'm entirely on team Yoongi here. Namjoon is a long suffering leader who needs to get laid.
pushkin666: I mean I'm not even into this fandom and I know Namjoon needs to get laid.
dreamersdare: 🤣
kat_lair: 🤣🤣🤣the first thing ppl will learn about K-pop is that every group leader Deserves To Get Laid.
dreamersdare: Truth.


Anyway, writing's going great, thanks for asking.

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Well. I am experiencing some emotions tonight because of Yoongi's latest video. It's age-restricted due to some implied self-harm in it so only available on YT and thus no point in trying to embed it but the link is here: Amygdala.

I don't have time or the energy to feel feelings about this or anything else that man  is doing right now but yet here we are.

Maybe an actual post later this week.

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Okay, last day of fic recs for now, something different for the rest of the month (no, I do not know what)

BTS Recs

chat app namgi series (Namjoon/Yoongi, AU) - In which Namjoon and Yoongi meet in a chatroom and what was supposed to be no strings attached fun turns into making music, many strings, many feelings, but also fun. This is a fic for my epistolary loving heart but with text messages. There's five fics in the series (although the last one seems to be in permanent wip) and they are all Very Good for the Heart and also Other Parts.

new horizons (Namjoon/Jungkook, AU) - Jungkook really wants those Animal Crossing bells, enough that he offers to suck Namjoon's dick if he gives them to him. Actually, Jungkook wants something besides those bells. Equal amounts of hilarious and horny, and that's just the text messages.

Hot Boy Summer (Taehyung/Jungkook, AU) - The electricity goes out on one of the hottest days of the summer. What are two roommates supposed to do except get naked and get the ice cubes out. Temperature play, body worship, first time feelings. Soft and kinky.

Unconditional (Seokjin/Jungkook, canon compliant) - In which a massage, praise and caretaking leads to the inevitable. Extremely soft.

Tale as tall as time (Namjoon/Yoongi, AU) - Namjoon and Yoongi are exasparated with their friends trying to get them together and tell them the story of how they are already dating. It's of course all made up. Or is it? Will it be? This is a really rather cleverly constructed story that weaves two timelines and catching up to what is actually happening is absolutely part of the joy of it.


SKZ Recs

Now or Then (Jisung/Minho, canon compliant) - Jisung and Minho, through the years, absolutely beautiful slow burn. I think what makes this so special is how both of them know it's more than just friendship between them but are taking their time, until they're ready, until they can't pretend any more. My heart.

heaven is a place on earth with you (Hyunjin/Seungmin, AU) - In which Hyunjin has been wasting his time on the wrong people when the right one is at home. Ngl, I am weak for every concept here, not just the 'omg they were roommates' and 'friends to lovers' which is given, but the 'person a doesn't think they deserve person b who then treats them like the treasure they are' one.

Hoodie Season (Chan/Felix, hints of future OT8, AU but also canon compliant) - Listen, this is 61k a/b/o AU that is G-rated and involves Felix stealing Chan's clothes (and also everyone else's). For reasons. This is so fucking soft (the fucking cuddle nest at the end, I am sobbing) despite the angst of Felix adjusting to a surprise presentation and society's expectations that come with it.

Law of Probability (Chan/Changbin, Jisung/Hyunjin, I would say Extremely Strong OT8 vibes, canon compliant) - In which Changbin loses a bet and has to give Chan a lapdance. In front of everyone. This goes exactly where you think it will but it takes an extremely sexy route to get there. I loved the OT8 vibe this had as well, which is understandable because if this think would happen in front of my eyes, I too would stay and watch as long as possible.

nothing gold can stay (Chan/Felix, canon compliant) - An impromptu day trip, only one bed, and buried feelings come to the surface. This is a perfect combination of feelings and sex. Felix is yearning and he gets everything he wants. As he should.

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Hello, yes, it's the start of Easter weekend. I'm going to have to spend part of that working on this stupid book chapter that's technically due in, oh, ten days (but won't actually be finished in that time lol) but also hopefully on some other writing.

Anyway, I'm going to be taking the path of least resistance with the daily posting and just, uh, go with fic recs for four days. Ngl, they will all be kpop, which, I know, is of limited interest to my flist as a whole. However. HOWEVER. Majority of them are AUs and also, let's be real, we've all read fics in fandoms we're not actually in because the the premise ticks the right boxes. Just ask me how many bdsm!au hocky rpf fics I've read. The answer is, So Many. The other week I heard some colleagues talking about NHL and I recognised several names. I did not join in though because my contribution would've been 'oh he was the needy sub in that one fic and loved hand-feeding' which my keen social intelligence told me was the kind of detail was best kept, un, unshared in that company.

But, I digress! Kpop fic recs it is. Let's kick it with them BTS boys.  

Logical Thinking (Hoseok/Namjoon/Yoongi, canon compliant) - Oh my god my fellow humans, oh my god. I have never, not once, cried so much over 135k (yes, you read that right) of what is essentially Incredibly Hot Sex, Like 'My Soul Disintegrated' Hot. The... THE FEELINGS, YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND. Okay, so, it's the classic 'starts as just as a sex thing and then feelings develop' but my god it's well done, I was reading this during a fucking student trip I was supervising and literally just kept sneaking in paragraphs between herding them around and you haven't lived until you've tried to be Responsible Adult while metaphorically holding your bleeding heart in your hands because a fanfic stabbed it into thousand pieces and then stitched it together. Anyway, did I mention the d/s vibe. Yeah. This was written specifically to kill me.

what rhymes with pug me (Namjoon/Yoongi, canon compliant) - It's 62k of sweater sharing where the history of Namjoon and Yoongi is traced through this one yellow hoodie which becomes both the symbolic and literal gesture of caring, and an excuse for touching and oh my god, have you met me? I love this fic so much I have read it twice and listened to it once (oh yes, there is a wonderful podfic version available), it is so soft, so soft, I am *gathers emotions like errant cotton balls*

Crossing Parallel Lines (Seokjin/Jungkook, AU) - In which Seokjin is a former gymnast brought into mentor a rising star gymnast Jungkook. Friendship follows. Then... other things. Delicious angst over crossing lines and the reasons not to and the bigger reasons to go ahead anyway.

like an ancient sun (Taehyung/Jimin, canon compliant) - One car ride where Jimin has to sit in Tae's lap because lack of room and years of carefully balanced sexual tension and feelings come crashing down all over them. Nnnngghhh?

Like the Pull of the Moon (Hoseok/Seokjin, AU) - Hoseok has never kissed anyone. Good thing he has such a good and generous friend willing to teach him. In exchange for dance lessons. Ahh but I do love this trope an unholy amount, and this is an excellent rendition with much 'mutually pining idiots' energy

Pull Me Under (Namjoon/Hoseok, Yoongi/Seokjin/Jungkook, Taehyung/Jimin, AU) - in which Hoseok's relatively peaceful job at a summer resort is interrupted by the arrival of a new lifeguard. Who he hates. Obviously. Because he's a dick. Except maybe Hoseok doesn't and maybe Namjoon isn't. I actually listened to the excellent multivoice podfic recording of this whilst sick with covid and had just So Many Emotions. It is funny as fuck, full of shenanigans and misunderstandings and pining. The side pairings are all excellent too and everyone has a hidden identity. Absolutely stellar romp.

Or, Are You Just Happy To See Me? (Seokjin/Jimin, Namjoon/Yoongi, Taehyung/Jungkook, AU) - in which Jimin is in a running to win a romantic trip and just needs a fake boyfriend to seal the deal. Except there are some complications and in the end he seals the deal on something quite different. Hilarious and adorable.

Songs I can't believe I forgot (Namjoon/Yoongi, AU) - in which they are roommates and bffs enjoying an outdoor punk festival, but then Yoongi gets tired and Yoongi gets cold and Namjoon is there and big and strong and very warm and... The sex is hot but they are so soft.

running into you (and hating every step) (Namjoon/Seokjin, Jungkook/Hoseok, Taehyung/Jimin, Yoongi/OMC, AU) - in which Seokjin just wants to find a new flat for him and his roommates but keeps running to this really annoying hot guy at every viewing. Absolutely perfect hilarious Seokjin voice, I laughed so much. Bonus points for how the roommates trying to negotiate peace goes down.

Never Meant to Be Mine (Namjoon/Jungkook, AU) - in which bunny hybrid Kook needs to be married to be allowed to get a job. Namjoon volunteers. Listen, I make no excuses for how much I enjoy hybrid or a/b/o type of AUs because have you seen the power dynamics in those things? Exactly. So why are you even surprised. This is a lovely 'pining for your fake husband' fic with bonus 'oh i've never even been kissed' and 'oops i went into heat'. What's not to love?

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Good evening all, and happy April. Did you get any good April Fools today?

I threatened you with a good time promise to post every day this month and it is happening. pushkin666 and I dared each other and that's how these things go.

Ngl, a lot of these posts are going to be videos of some boys dancing but... content is content is content, and being active on DW is good for my mental health. I've been tired and meh lately which may because of the meds, so am just trying to combat that a bit as well.

Anyway, I did say 'boys dancing' and I don't like to disappoint. Artbeat is at it, here are two recent BTS medley battle performances. Enjoy.





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This is a depressingly short list of stuff that saw the light of the internets this year. However, the total word count of the year is actually much higher because in the autumn dreamersdare and I fell hard for Stray Kids and have since produced a truly obscene amount of words in several different fics all barring one which are in wip status. I did the tally to the best of my ability and in 2022 I wrote just of 51k of fic, the last ~20k of which are SKZ wips lol. In addition I wrote about the same amount for the 'Kat's Irreverent Readers' Digest' of Wheel of Time Re/Read Book Club over at tar_valon so... Words were had.

But anyway, traditional summary of stuff that actually got posted.

Fics written/posted in 2022 by Fandom:

방탄소년단 | Bangtan Boys | BTS
Beat Change (Kim Namjoon|RM/Park Jimin, T, 3847 words) – on DW & on AO3
lift you up (hold you when you fall) (Kim Namjoon|RM/Min Yoongi|Suga, T, 4081 words) – on DW & on AO3
Tacit (Kim Namjoon|RM/Min Yoongi|Suga, M, 2920 words, co-authored with dreamersdare) – on DW & on AO3
Taste of Danger (Jeon Jungkook/Kim Seokjin|Jin, Kim Namjoon|RM/Min Yoongi|Suga, Jung Hoseok|J-Hope/Kim Taehyung|V/Park Jimin, T, 2775 words, co-authored with dreamersdare) – on DW & on AO3

Buzzfeed Unsolved RPF
time to sow (Ryan/Shane, G, 281 words) – on DW & on AO3

Good Omens
this ain't a scene (it's a goddamn heart chase) (Aziraphale/Crowley, G, 1692 words) – on DW & on AO3

Guardian
all the things you feared (i was) (Shen Wei/Zhao Yunlan, M, 780 words) – on DW & on AO3
Secured (Shen Wei/Zhao Yunlan, T, 1526 words) – on DW & on AO3

Marvel Cinematic Universe
Direct Action (Bruce/Tony, T, 681 words) – on DW & on AO3

Original Work
Peace Accords (OMC/OMC, Conquering General/Losing General, M, 2415 words) – on DW & on AO3

Shetland
Skipping Stone Ch2 (Duncan/Jimmy, M, 1701 words) – (on DW only when complete) on AO3

Stargate Atlantis
In Synch (Rodney McKay/Radek Zelenka, T, 1769 words) – on DW & on AO3

Stray Kids
in the course, in the night (Bang Chan/Lee Minho|Lee Know, T, 5343 words, co-authored with dreamersdare) – on DW & on AO3

阴阳师 | Yīn Yáng Shī | The Yin-yang Master (Movies - Guo Jingming)
Bittersweet (Bo Ya/Qing Ming, T, 459 words) - on DW & on AO3


Non-fic things:
The Sea to Love (Cover Art) (Shetland, art for smallfandombang) - on DW & on AO3
Stronger Together (Fanmix & Covers) (Sleepy Hollow, art for het_bigbang) - on DW & on AO3

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( Meme Questions )

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