RIP spikedluv

[kat_lair]

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I'm incredibly saddened to learn about the sudden passing of spikedluv earlier this month (obituary here and some comments on the latest post on her journal). 

I don't actually fully remember when I first met her but I suspect it was through smallfandombang (I gather the participants are in the process of seeing if they can transfer the community control over), where I did some art on quite a few years, including on one of spikedluv 's fics. She was such a stable and active fandom presence, running and modding and supporting events and activities. She was a prolific writer and a poster, and I will miss her regular life, reading and watching updates on my flist dearly. She was a kind, big-hearted person, who loved her family and pets, and welcomed people into her life without reservation. She had a kind comment for me often, on fic and real life updates both.

It is difficult to accept how someone was such a big part of your daily life and now there is very little opportunity for closure. It doesn't seem like spikedluv had anyone close IRL who would've been able to update her DW about her passing. We don't know what happened. She posted on the morning of her death, and obituary only says she passed in a hospital. An accident? A sudden heart-attack? Knowing wouldn't make a difference to the outcome but it's a human urge to find a reason. 

On that note, please make sure a trusted person has a spare key to your online life, just in case. AO3 offers an option to set up a fannish next of kin. This article is a few years old but good starting point for information re various platforms (note UK legal context) 

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Comments

[nerakrose]

oh, that's so incredibly sad and I'm so sorry.

I didn't know her, but I've "seen her around" the way you do in fandom, for about as long as I can remember being in (English language) fandom myself. I'm pretty sure she wrote some Numb3rs fic I loved back in the day.

[kat_lair]

Thank you. She was so active in various ways, so many people knew her and I've not once seen anything negative about her either which is a small miracle after decades of active fandom participation. We didn't really share active fandoms but that didn't matter. I'll miss her terribly.

[trobadora]

I'm so sorry!

[kat_lair]

Thank you. I'll miss her.

[verdande_mi]

Very sad news, makes me more sad to know she was so worried about her mum too.

[kat_lair]

Yeah, it must have been such a blow to her family and her mum, all of whom who relied on her so much as well. I'm going to send a card, just to say touched lives of people her family didn't even know.

[celli]

:( I'm going to miss her!

[kat_lair]

God, me too. Such a loss to fandom as a whole.

[lunabee34]

I feel the same way about all of it. I wish I could get closure and know what happened; it was so sudden. She was clearly fine that morning because she posted. I'm so upset.

[kat_lair]

Yeah, it feels so unfair with the suddenness and lack of closure. Thank you for sending me her address. I will send a card to the family, to let them know she touched lives far and wide <3

[turps]

This news has knocked me.

I've got the Valentine's Card she sent me sitting in my eyesight and am thinking of how excited she was about her new Jessica crossover. I'd emailed because I've been worried when she stopped posting, but suspected it was due to her mom, not this.

I'll miss her. Thank you for sharing the terrible news.

[kat_lair]

Same. I'm at pushkin666's at the moment and we both were just totally shocked reading the news, just sat staring at each other and crying.

She was so kind and so full of enthusiasm for fandom, so willing to step up and make things happen. I'll miss her as a friend and as someone who made fandom a better place.

[lunarriviera]

it's truly awful and you must be so shaken—i'm so sorry for your loss. </3

[kat_lair]

It was just out of the blue, doesn't feel real except for the absence of her in my flist, in fandom spaces.

[umadoshi]

It's so sudden and awful. She was such a presence in fandom here and did so much. ;_;

[kat_lair]

Yeah, this. I'm mourning for the personal loss of someone I considered a friend, whom I felt I knew well because of how readily she shared about her life. And I'm mourning for the fandom loss as well.

[ixalisse]

Ohhh no :( I'm so sorry for your loss *hugs*

[kat_lair]

Thank you. You get to know someone so well online, hearing about their every day life and their people and then... Nothing. It's so shitty. *hugs back*

[kitarella_imagines]

I didn't know her, I just read her name here and there, but I'm terribly sorry you lost your friend. What a terrible shock.

That is a very important point about our online lives. Over the years people I knew online have just disappeared out of my life, I never found out what happened to them. One was a cousin I found through DNA testing, her account just suddenly went silent, her site was unrenewed and unpaid. I presume she died 🤷‍♀️

That's the terrible thing about online life- we don't really know each other or what happens.

Sending lots of love 💗💖💓

[kat_lair]

She's been such a reliable, regular part of my online life for so long, can't quite comprehend she's gone.

Yeah, same. At least we know for certain, the disappearing without an explanation is worse.

I really would recommend everyone has some back up arrangements for online presence, social media etc.

*puts all the love in the pockets* Thank you darling

[wpadmirer]

I'm so sorry to hear about her death. It's very sad to lose active, nice fandom people.

[kat_lair]

Thank you. She was warm and welcoming and did so much to create positive community spaces.

[apiphile]

Man I am sorry, this really stinks. :(

[adafrog]

I can't believe it.

[shadowhive]

What? That’s honestly so sad, that’s so awful that she’s gone. I didn’t know her super well but she was always nice. And it’s so sad too that it all seems so… sudden and came out of nowhere

I’m so sorry

*hugs you so tight*

[nagi_schwarz]

I am so sorry! I didn't know her well but her name was immediately familiar. :sending hugs: