Wheel of Time, Books 5 & 6, Kat's Extreme Readers' Digest, The Irreverent Edition

[kat_lair]

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As the Re/Read Book Club over at tar_valon progresses, I've been doing summaries of questionable taste and accuracy. I'm just cross-posting them here for posterity, 2 books worth at a time.

Previously:

Book 1: The Eye of The World

Book 2: The Great Hunt

Book 3. The Dragon Reborn

Book 4. The Shadow Rising

Now:
[Banners by r_tt_n]




Book 5: The Fires of Heaven, Kat's Extreme Readers' Digest, The Irreverent Edition

The Prologue takes us all over and none of it good. In Tar Valon Elaida is finding leadership more complex than anticipated, especially as the others are less inclined to bowing and scraping than she’d like, though to her credit she’s about to smack some bitches so. Anyway, state of the world recap is gloomy but at least Elaida has redecorated the Amyrlin’s study with some new paintings including a fan poster of Rand, even though she’s still in denial about some other important stuff. Not to mention taking counsel from Padan Fain, who is still as darkly twisted as before. In Andor Rahvin is not a fan of strong women, which makes him particularly unhappy when Lanfear and other Forsaken drop in for some scheming. Elsewhere in Andor, Min, Siuan and Leane have been captured because Logain accidentally set a barn on fire. To make matters worst, it’s none other than the exiled Gareth Bryne who is distributing justice. Leane who has returned to her Domani roots almost flirts their way out of it but in the end all swear an oath of service to repay the damages, although before they can even pretend to fulfil it Logain rescues them and they escape. Unfortunately, Gareth who is both Extremely Bored and likes strong women, decides that chasing after Mara (i.e. Siuan but he doesn’t know it yet) with his old war buddies is a fine distraction. In Caemlyn, Lady Alteima arrives from Tear with hopes of new position but barely has time to give Morgase some intelligence before ‘Gaebriel’ (Rahvin) snatches her up for a new plaything (so far he is the Forsaken I’d Most Like to Smack).

In Rhuidean, Rand and the Aiels have made themselves at home in the ruins while Moiraine is packing up as many of the objects of power as she can. Rand is bending the clan chiefs to his way of thinking with relative skill, though so far he has only secured half of the Aiel. Moiraine shows him a crumbling seal of the Dark One’s prison, and learns of Rand’s plans to stop all the infighting everywhere and unite everyone behind him to prepare for Tarmon Gai’don. Rand is having increasing difficulty in keeping his previous incarnations’ memories separate, but he is at least getting better at OP handling thanks to lessons from his pet Forsaken Asmodean disguised as the gleeman Natael (there is manhandling and my mind is in the gutter). There is more bullshit OP gender dichotomy that smacks of homophobia (men are on the whole stronger but need women to link because apparently two men linking together just Cannot Be Done ffs). Mat too is having a Reincarnation Memory Syndrome but his past lives are way more integrated and provide some useful battle strategies. He shows off his hot knife skills and nets himself a regular bed partner; a Maiden who is (brace yourself) actually taller than him. There is an Extremely Interesting scene between him and Rand where I’ve just written ‘The Dynamics!!!’ on the margins For Reasons.

Rand has been adopted by the Far Dares Mai, gets jealous over Aviendha’s new necklace and fails to understand the Aiel ways and the meaning of his shiny new belt buckle. He also gets hit on by Isendre but is less than interested on account of her being a DF, though still can’t even imagine killing a woman no matter how terrible she is. Egwene tries to make friends with another gai’shain. That important women’s business is conducted in the sauna tent is obviously right, although Jordan’s obsession with female nudity is not subtle. Moiraine and the Wise Ones have some differing opinions on what Rand ought to do on the other side of the Dragonwall. Aviendha is ordered to share Rand’s bed chamber, which Egwene finds scandalous and Aviendha finds distressing Because Feelings. Egwene has been training to enter people’s dreams. Melaine gets a polyfam of her own, and the possibility of some Aiel women having two husbands is hinted at, and honestly, that alone is more than I expected. Egwene and Aviendha go on a naked punishment jog and I hope Jordan resolved his issues before his death because this is getting awkward. Darkhounds attack the encampment but Rand uses balefire to destroy them, much to Moiraine’s consternation as we learn of its reality unravelling properties. Mat (take a long drink for almost naked male character) almost gets killed by Darkhound saliva but Moirane heals him after he takes off his foxhead medallion that apparently protects him against any and all channelling. A night is not complete without a surprise visit from Lanfear, but her latest seduction attempt is cut short by the news that Shaido are on the move. Rand gathers his troops and sets off too, but not before making the fountains flow. Everyone, including me, is uncomfortable with the ‘submission is how to make OP and men do what you want’ undercurrent that is further underlined by Moiraine’s change of tactic. That she doesn’t expect to stay alive to the end is clear and Lan is worried.

Somewhere near the border of Amadicia, Nynaeve, Elayne, Thom and Juilin are on the run from Tanchico and Moghedien, disguised as merchants. Nynaeve is written as increasingly petulant and judgemental which is extremely annoying, but not nearly as much as Elayne’s weird Electra complex flirting with Thom (who let Jordan read Freud?). Nynaeve spots Yellow Ajah’s secret sign at a shop window but in addition to cryptic message she and Elayne get drugged and almost carted off to Tar Valon, if not for Thom and Juilin rescuing them. We learn something of the extent and complexity of various spy and messenger networks as approximately hundred carrier pigeons are released from one village. In classic ‘patriarchy hurts everyone’ example, we also witness a weird ‘men aren’t suited to healing’ opinion (sigh). Min and co have made it to Lugard where Siuan taps into Blues’ spy network and for the cost of showing off her legs gets a location where the Aes Sedai in exile are gathering. On their heels, Bryne is closing in, and we get hints of Gareth/Siuan to come. Elayne and co, now disguised as fine ladies, encounter a travelling menagerie with Seachean elephants, before stopping at an inn long enough to get a Tel’aran’rhiod trip in. In there Nynaeve catches up with Birgitte for some Forsaken info, experiments with clothes and experiences a power dynamic switch in her relationship with Egwene, neatly paving way for Egwene’s eventual ascension to the Amyrlin Seat. It’s interesting but also unnecessarily vicious; can we not just have more women supporting women? The two of them also go on a dream visit to the White Tower and learn Elaida is the new Amyrlin, the fact that Egwene relays to Moiraine back in the real world. Elayne and Nynaeve eat strawberries and consider their options in light of the new information but are surprised by Galad, now a fully fledged Whitecloak convert who wants to bundle them to Caemlyn. To avoid that faith, Elayne and co sneak away in yet another set of disguises and hide themselves among the menagerie, where Thom fits right in and Elayne uses OP for walking the highwire. They also make sort of friends with a Seanchan elephant/s’redit trainer Cerandin. Also, wave hi to return of Aludra, the former Illuminator we’ve encountered before.

In Amador, Liandrin and the rest of the Black Ajah are having a Bad, No Good Day as Moghedien drops in to teach them several very painful lessons about nature of obedience, hierarchy and devotion. But don’t discount Liandrin yet. We learn that she was a Darkfriend before she ever went to the White Tower, is determined to learn Moghedien’s thrall trick and in the meanwhile their agendas of finding Nynaeve align nicely. In Caemlyn, the news of Two Rivers ‘rebellion’, the love of one faithful Guard Tallanvor and advice of her old nursemaid Lini finally nudges Morgase away from Rahvin’s thrall. The margins of this entire chapter are full of me cheering her on, except for the bit where we learn about Tallanvor crying and swearing a blood oath to Morgase on his knees in secret and my loyalty kink goes fucking feral, because god damn. They gather the loyal inn keeper Basel Gill and a couple of others and sneak out of Caemlyn in search of Gareth Bryne. In the White Tower, Padan Fain gets his mitts back on the Cursed Dagger and my suspicions re Alviarin are vindicated.

Rand and his Aiel army have reached the Jangai Pass. Couladin and Shaido are a good week ahead of them and determined to murder everyone on their way to Cairhien. There’s a blink and you’ll miss it casual mention of ancient spaceship yards (I am shook, okay, these things definitely went over my head originally). Rand makes mean puns to his pet Chosen who apparently just wanted to make music forever (ah, classic ‘selling your soul to the devil for art’ trope) and received another debt repayment from Aviendha this time in form of Laman’s sword, as well as more lessons on Aiel marriage customs. Mat’s fun massage time with Melindra is interrupted by his own issues (though we do learn of his love for enthusiastic consent and that is very sexy of him) and yet another attack as Darkfriends, Trollocs and Myrddraal presumably in service of Sammael attack from two fronts. Mat spends the entire fight shouting about being no hero whilst heroically killing many enemies. Rand kills a Draghkar and Aviendha kills another and saves his life, though he doesn’t realise it at first and accuses her of attacking him like an idiot. There is enough subtext for me to determine that Melaine fell in love with Bael and Dorindha and has been spending her nights as a filling in that sandwich, and honestly, good for her. Maidens sworn to protect Rand think they failed and Rand who cannot comprehend sends them to the Wise Ones who assign dolls as punishment.

In Cairhien more destruction follows Couladin and Shaido. Rand lays down the law that the fifth the Aiel take cannot be food and no one is to do any unnecessary killing Or Else The Noose. Aviendha has not accept her feelings. Sorilea is my new favourite and I lowkey want to watch her tell Verin to take her nose off the book, put Tomas out of his unassuming pining and marry the man already. Egwene and Elayne have a Tel’aran’rhiod date where Egwene sees Birgitte but lets Elayne keep her promises to her. We learn of Nynaeve being involved in some menagerie drama and there’s a general exchange of news. Egwene almost gets caught in her own dreams of Gawyn, although that may have been Moghedien’s trap she just escaped as she is creeping around seeing more than is ideal.

Min and co have reached the Aes Sedai hiding place in Salindar, which turns out to be a whole village of them with Wardens and servants, set to winter and led by Sheriam (yay she’s alive) and various Aes Sedai of all Ajah except Red. They don’t even recognise Siuan and Leane to start with on account the changes to their appearance stilling has caused. When they do, Siuan still manages to manipulate them where she wants them, with Leane’s help (apparently her skills can be ‘adapted to women’ and this seems like one of those 'they're lesbians, Harold Robert' moments). Siuan and Leane still have all the knowledge, including access to vast spy networks, which is nothing to be sneezed at. Siuan also plants a belief that the Reds have been nudging men who can channel to the path of False Dragons, and they ought to be thinking of a new Amyrlin, someone outside the Tower, someone strong in OP… They be trying to manipulate Egwene but I’m thinking they be doing so in vain. Confirmation of Green Ajah’s female led poly arrangements is had, and Gareth Bryne catches up. He swears an oath to raise and lead an army to retake the White Tower on promise of having some autonomy to do so and not being left to hang dry midway through. He also learns who Mara really is which makes her new status as his body servant (on account of that oath from before) both awkward and infuriating to all concerned. Min really just wants to get to Rand and try the flirting skills she’s learned from Leane but it is not to be. Logain awaits for his glory.

We pick the story up in Cairhien where Kadere, the Darkfriend peddler reminisces about murdering his sister, dubcon subbing for Lanfear, wondering who the secret Aiel DF could be and then, to top off a busy night, kills Isendre for the sin of failing to seduce Rand. But Rand is honestly too busy twisting events around him like a kid with a ball of rubber bands, thinking of ways not to get women killed without admitting to double standards, and viewing everyone as a tool first and person second (he feels bad about it, while I mostly feel a strong urge to write a lot of dub-con fic but we all have our burdens). Anyway, some Tairen lordlings show up to explain how bad things are in Shaido sieged Cairhien (incidentally, please can we give countries and their capitals different names, Andor got it right) and forcing Tairens and Caihienin to play nice and maybe consider fairer taxation of the common folk. It’s a running theme, I support Ran’s ham fisted efforts of social reform. I’m not saying we should hang the rich but I am noting that it sure does seem to change hearts and minds fast.

But amidst all of that we arrive at the first sex scene of the book! Jordan ticks two squares off the trope bingo as Rand first walks in on Aviendha bathing, and because as a consequence she panics over Feelings, accidentally creates a portal somewhere wintery, runs off and falls into freezing water, Rand has no option except warm her up with body heat in a snow iglu he builds. One thing leads to another as these things do. In a hilarious face palm moment Rand decides that now that they’ve had sex they’ll have to marry immediately though thankfully Aviendha laughs in his face about it. They get distracted somewhat by figuring out that the portal brought them to Seanchan isles/shores and that getting out involves an awkward encounter with some Seanchan nobility and sul’dam. Asmodean’s being a good dog, loyal pet Forsaken uhhh helpful, keeping the portal open, making return possible although Rand has some notes (there’s kneeling, and spear point to throat and threats, my book margins are full of exclamation marks and some E rated notes)

Elsewhere, Nynaeve is having knives thrown at her as part of Valan Luca’s show and not enjoying the experience. She is enjoying the outfits that come with it though has some unexplained moral hangups (she… was the Wisdom? It just doesn’t make sense. My experience is that women who deal with things from birth to death have a very practical outlook about the fun stuff that happens in between). Strategically they are stuck between zealots of two flavour; Masema’s (partly unwilling) converts and the Whitecloaks, but to Samara they go. Elayne is discovering her maker abilities and thinks she can construct an a’dam or another ter’angreal given a chance. Apparently it’s misogyny week as we get some comments about how Nynaeve can’t even cook and is just leading Valan Luca on, and can we not? In Tel’aran’rhiod things go rapidly downhill as Birgitte and Nynaeve get caught spying on Moghedien who tosses Birgitte aside like a ragdoll and then goes into detail about plans to make Nynaeve her horse (which is… very specific *narrows eyes at Jordan*), but alas Birgitte’s last ditch arrow puts a stop to that. Because wounds received in Tel’aran’rhiod are real, Moghedien relies on her Black Ajah to heal her. They do, but Liandrin makes a mistake of thinking this is her opportunity to gain an upper hand. Spoiler alert: it is not. Cue off-page but heavily hinted torture porn.

Nynaeve and Elayne discover that far from being killed Birgitte has been ripped away from Tel’aran’rhiod into the real world. In order to save her life, Elayne bonds her as her Warder (if you think this somehow diminishes my yearning for the Aes Sedai/Warder fic then do we even know each other?). Elayne tells Thom and Juilin almost everything which makes a nice change, while in the meanwhile Birgitte adjusts to the new circumstances remarkably well, getting a gig at shooting arrows for the show. Nynaeve… does not, writhing in misplaced guilt, although Birgitte soon teaches her a valuable lesson about informed consent and choices and not mistaking fear for cowardice. There’s a delightful scene of Juilin and Elayne’s highwire antics, but plot grabs us the same way Nynaeve grabs Uno when she spots him, making him take her to see the Prophet, i.e. Masema whose zeal for the Dragon Reborn certainly hasn’t lessened in Rand’s absence. He’s lost in the sauce of holy ecstasy and forcefully converting everyone to give up worldly goods and pleasures in favour of preparing for the Dragon rapture, but surfaces long enough to promise Nynaeve a boat when she lies she’d be using it to return to Rand. On the way out of Samara, constantly on brink of full-blown anarchy, she and the Shienarans run into no other than Galad, who is still determined to do the right thing no matter the cost or anyone else’s opinion on what the right thing might actually be. That does make him underestimate other people’s level of competency and willingness to be less than direct, so Nynaeve suggests he gets them a ship too. The Shienarans (I missed them) decide to stake their fortunes to Nynaeve and Elayne, which is understandable given the only other viable option is Masema the Prophet, so worth it even if they can’t cuss as much as they’d like. Nynaeve has at last remembered where the rebel faction of Aes Sedai is so they have a destination in mind.

In Cairhien, Rand is coping with a ragtag army of refugees, none of whom much like each other, nevermind the Aiel. He has also built himself a tower (generally this sort of behaviour is a red flag) and found some craftsmen to make a telescope so he can see what Couladin is up to outside the city walls (mostly violence and posturing). He’s also busy calculating which of the various lords and generals around him are going to die next from uncurable snobbery. Sammael is baiting Rand with attacks to Tear, but Rand is too distracted by trying to puzzle his women out (losing battle). Aviendha and Egwene have promised to use OP in battle. Meanwhile, Mat is so Very Done With Everything. Especially the full-blown war shaping up around him. Unfortunately, neither Everything nor War are done with Mat. Quite the contrary. At least he can do actually think about leaving and even implement that without being forcefully pulled back. Delighted to also see he’s still riding the self-delusion of ‘I’m only in this for little wealth and fame and don’t give a fuck about everyone else’ whilst literally cringing away from any actual sign of fame and constantly saving people. Ngl, it’s very sexy of him. He has, however, resigned himself to the threeway soulbond he, Perrin and Rand share in order to save the world. Armed with much bluster Mat goes find Rand to tell him that He’s Leaving And You Can’t Stop Me, and while Rand is genuinely trying to let him go, at least for now, he’s also quite willing to use Mat’s military genius and goes as far as sending Lan in to ferret out some juicy battle plans out of him. Mat likes to gamble and battle is the greatest gamble there is and Rand… Well Rand is willing to toss Mat like his lucky dice when he needs to (the innuendo was unintended, but I stand by it). And while I find this cold, hard, calculating Rand Very Appealing, I’ll call it now that I expect the battle against evil will be won with love and Rand becoming the softest boy once more ala Fifth Element?

A very long battle scene happens. … Okay, I guess we need some details. Rand plans on killing Couladin himself but the Far Dareis Mai logic him into the tower with Egwene and Aviendha instead where they can all use OP. Storm and lightning follow. Rand’s past lives start bleeding through. Elsewhere Mat is Trying Very Hard to leave but Cannot Abide Incompetence (and also because he has the softest heart) and therefore sort of, you know, takes command of some Tairens and Cairhienin about to get killed and instead leads them from victory to victory. The whole thing is frankly a delight as Mat is Competent Despite His Best Efforts whilst grumbling to himself like a cranky old man. In the tower Rand is clinging to sanity by his teeth and to make matters worse Sammael throws in his own lightning and topples the tower. Maidens die, but our trio survives mostly intact. We are cheated out of the glory of the Mat and Couladin battle as it takes place off page (what a terrible, terrible choice, c’mon!). Battle is mostly over and won but Rand is still wondering around, injured and barely himself anymore, flooded with OP and memories of dead men. Everyone is a bit unnerved but they get him to take a nap in the end.

Mat is less than thrilled by his new legendary general status, but at least he gets some booze and a tall Melindra to celebrate with. Oh and, loyalty of both Tairen and Cairhienin soldiers. Adorable. Rand wakes up from his long nap and is determined to head straight to the city even though he can barely find his clothes (Aviendha is sitting on them) or climb his horse. Whilst Rand has been snoozing, a steady progression of Cairhienin and Tairen nobles have been calling by to try and curry favour and pledge their loyalty because no one knows yet who Rand intends to sit on the Sun Throne. Maybe himself. Asmodean is twisting himself in knots in trying to prove his loyalty and my brain is twisting that particular dynamic even tighter if you know what I mean. Anyway, Rand gets onto his horse eventually, observes some new headbands on Aiel and struggles to grasp the concept of ownership of people which is very wholesome of him but Rand bb, it is a very, very small step from using people to owning them. Very small. And you’ve mostly taken it. In Cairhien, people greet Rand as the great liberator at least until Meilan shows up, caught wrongfooted when Rand didn’t wait for a carefully orchestrated parade. Instead Rand shows his skills at Game of Houses (thanks to Moirane and Thom too), by reshuffling the nobles at the palace like a deck of worn playing cards. Asmodean is Into It, because Asmodean, I suspect, has a competency kink mile wide.

Back at the travelling menagerie, Nynaeve and Elayne are fighting and slut shaming each other because apparently that’s what women do when frustrated? My notes in the margins are angry and in all caps (‘CAN WE NOT’). Thom and Juilin come back from town, bruised and battered by the spreading riots. Turns out that both Masema’s zealots and Galad’s Whitecloaks found a ship as requested and fighting over that was the spark that lit up that particular keg of gunpowder and now everyone is looting and pillaging with gusto. Everyone packs their bags right quick and Elayne and Nynaeve and their retinue part ways with the menagerie but not before Valan Luca proposes to Nynaeve and Cerandin refuses Elayne’s orders to come with. There’s some tedious sulking but they make it to the ship with only minor killing, scoop up some desperate refugees and it’s anchors away, down (or up? The map was unhelpful) towards Boannda.

Time spent on the ship, healing refugees and trying to coax traumatised children to smile, does smooth out relations and to my immense relief the sniping is replaced by actually working together again. On the ‘to do’ list is going back to Tel’aran’rhiod so Nynaeve can work through her well-founded fear of Moghedien. She and Elayne go regularly and practice shaping it to their will, although doing it via a ter’angreal instead the ring takes some OP and leaves you weaker. They catch-up with Egwene, still not catching on that half of her dream visits are unauthorised so to speak, and learn that Rand is working on the reformist agenda by founding a school. Back in the real world Elayne, Nynaeve, three tag along refugee women, and the Shienarans disembark from the ship and head of to Salidar.

Alas, far from being hailed as conquering heroes though, the women are put back to their place as Accepted, although at least there are some reunions to soften the blow. No one is thrilled to find yet another cuendillar seal of the Dark One’s prison crumbling away. Min has troubling visions about the three refugee women. Nynaeve does not enjoy going from giving orders to receiving them but she and Elayne decide to stick around For The Knowledge even though the Shienarans seem ready to try to bust them out. Striking a deal with Siuan to teach her Tel’aran’rhiod skills on the sly in exchange to studying stilling with view of healing it, does prove a solid distraction. Elayne and Min have a heart-to-heart about Rand though fail to put two and two together and come up with Aviendha as their third.

In Cairhien, Rand is busy scaring off women who try to seduce him, and just plain scaring men who try to avoid his orders. He receives letters from Elaida and Alviarin and ignores them both, and then spends some time persuading Mat to take over in Tear. The action-packed final scene really starts though when Mat conveys the news that Morgase is dead (which she obviously isn’t). Rand signs Rahvin’s death certificate there and then, but others persuade him to wait until the morning to actually deliver it. Mat almost gets killed by Melindra who is revealed to be a Darkfriend (I only really suspected like two paragraphs before so kudos to that though I am sad to see one of the ‘actually taller than some men’ women dealt this card) and working for Sammael. Rand is sorry to hear that but ultimately too distracted to even take full advantage of Asmodean begging to prove his loyalty (not a problem for my thirsty brain, which has taken Full and Thorough Advantage). Moiraine delivers some letters to his care at which point we surely all went Oh No. Down the docks Lanfear is going nuclear after learning that Rand and Aviendha had sex one time, and after skinning Kadere (honestly couldn’t happen to a nicer guy) she adopts the time-honoured ‘if I can’t have you, no one will’ policy and wrecks some havoc. Rand tries to put a stop to it but is ultimately hampered by his own I Won’t Kill Women Even If They Are Evil Because Boobs Or Something logic idk. But then! Moiraine who had been momentarily knocked aside, wipes blood off her mouth, and is like ‘hold my glass, my Warder, my everything’ and tackles her right through the twisted doorway into Feyland and poof, they are gone! And then because magic fire or something the doorway itself is destroyed and everyone is suddenly convinced they are dead even though there’s several of them who know there’s a whole another dimension/reality behind there. I’m rooting for a Gandalf the White outcome though. Well, it sure makes Rand reassess his policy a bit I guess. Lan’s bond gets transferred to Myrelle and he’s off though not before trying his best to do the ‘I hurt you for your own good’ thing which honestly never works by leaving a ridiculous message for Nynaeve. Rand reads Moiraine’s letter and discovers that she knew what was to come, and also knew who Asmodean was. There’s bunch of stuff hinted in that letter that I’m sure we’ll come back to.

Sulin takes on the task of teaching Rand to let women make their own choices and it seems to stick at least for a bit as the Maidens are allowed to accompany him to kill Rahvin. To Caemlyn they go en masse and post haste, thanks to Rand’s ability to make a gateway and travel between worlds. They step out in Caemlyn and straight into a trap of Trollocs, Myrddraal and Rahvin’s lightning that kills several of them immediately, including Mat, Aviendha and Asmodean. Rand is, uh, well, to quote the book, ‘he is death’. At the same time Nynaeve is trying to teach Siuan the ways of the Tel’aran’rhiod but sees something suspicious, kicks Siuan out and flees… Only to be caught by Moghedien anyway. Even though Birgitte shows up to help, things are going fast downhill except Nynaeve is clever, clever, clever and also very good at manipulating the World of Dreams now and imagines an a’dam around Moghedien’s neck and gains control of her and her powers. Ngl, I cheered. After shaking some truths out of Moghedien they go to the dream Caemlyn in an effort to somehow help Rand, which works out okay because he and Rahvin are actually sort of running around Tel’aran’rhiod, throwing around balefire, while Rand’s personality disintegrates like another seal of the Dark One’s prison (…wait!?). Anyway, there’s some angst over the ethics of torture (Nynaeve, with Moghedien on leash) and almost drowning in dream water (Rand) until Nynaeve sets Rahvin on fire just long enough for Rand to regain some of his faculties and balefire him to kingdom come.

*wipes forehead* This is like the longest summary I’ve written so let’s recap the last few pages quickly: Nynaeve realises Moghedien is somehow hiding is Salidar or at least has a spy there. Rand kills trollocs. Because of balefire, Mat, Aviendha and Asmodean are alive. Davram Bashere (Faile’s dad) enters the picture. Rand declares amnesty on all men who can channel and for all his ‘you can’t own people’ musings just casually tosses ‘Mazrim Tain in mine’ into the conversation, followed by the promise to impose peace and unity for the whole world. Okay then. Asmodean gets killed by an unknown player (nooooooooooooooooooo!). Morgase is denying herself a perfectly loyal sub…ject. Subject. Anyway, also she’s heading to Amadicia, which seems an interesting choice of allies.

The goddamn end! *goes to pull out the next book off the shelf*
 


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Book 6: Lord of Chaos, Kat's Extreme Readers' Digest, The Irreverent Edition

And the prize for the ‘Longest Prologue’ goes to… *deep breath* Demandred visits Shayol Gul to commune with his master who is obviously playing all the Forsaken against each other over who gets to be his bestest lapdog N’aeblis. Whilst there we also get some queasy insight into forging of dark blades and meet a Special Myrddraal named Shaidar Hanan. In Salidar Nynaeve has collared Moghedien aka Marigan, a fact that is kept between a very select group of people, although even that extra juice hasn’t helped her yet figure out how to heal stilling. She and Elayne have been making all sorts of discoveries with Moghedien’s knowledge which is getting them some attention. Hall in Exile is sending an embassy to Rand including Min, which Elayne has some feelings about but at least these two have come to an amicable agreement about it. In Two Rivers Faile is overseeing the settlement of asylum seekers and dealing with xenophobia with better skill that any politician now, though tbf it’s not a high bar to clear. Perrin is not quite settling into this lord business but that’s by the by as he’s feeling that bittersweet ta’veren pull to return to Rand’s side. Elsewhere Gawyn, the misguided sweet fool, is overseeing the security for a meeting of White Tower and the Shaido, while he receives the word that his mum is dead. Unsurprisingly, two more Red Sisters (Katerina and Galina) are revealed to be Black Ajah. In Amadicia, Morgase, very much alive, is playing the balancing act with nobles whilst keeping up the appearances of not being a prisoner. Pedron Niall dangles the fact that Galad has become a Whitecloak officer in front of her in thinly veiled threat whilst also implying Rand has taken the Lion Throne. Some hope comes in form of a loyal subject Paitr. Pedron is planning to direct Masema’s fanatic Dragonsworn to do his work for him. We also catch up some other Forsaken including Mesaana who I honestly didn’t even remember existed. Demandred pops into to deliver a message that the Dark One wants the ‘Lord of Chaos’ rule. Elsewhere it appears that Balthamel and Aginor have been resurrected as Osan’gar and Aran’gar, the latter genderswapped to tick that off the trope bingo card as well I assume.

Over 70 pages in we are sort of caught up and pick up the actual story in Caemlyn where, like everywhere, the Dark One is causing global warming on top of all other evil. Rand has upped his sword practice much to the swooning delight of most people with eyes, outplaying the fawning Andoran nobles in the Game of Houses with equal skill. He, Bashere and Mat have a plan brewing about Sammael, but Rand is still debating just how close to let any Aes Sedai even those he may have once been betrothed to. Hilariously, death has now made Moiraine the ‘only Aes Sedai he trusted’ which is honestly a bit rich. Mazrim Taim enters the scene with the kind of swagger that comes from psychopathy and a gift of another seal to the Dark One’s prison, which Lews in Rand’s head suggests that should be smashed too. Rand doesn’t like Taim but deems that not necessary to using him and making him submit. Listen, I’m not making this up, the word ‘submit’ is used A Lot (I know because I underlined them all) during their interactions and I am but a weak and thirsty fangirl for this kind of service. Anyway, turns out Rand’s amnesty has brought forward a motley crew of wannabe male channelers who Rand has stored at a farm outside Caemlyn, where he now drops Taim to first test them and then teach any who can learn. For the war. There is a genuinely wise observation about these men needing to be part of the world, not apart for it, to know what they are fighting for and to maintain their humanity. There’s some dick measuring with OP (Rand’s is bigger), Asmo’s death remains a mystery as no one knows what’s come of him, and Rand can’t decide if he wants to avoid or is yearning for Aviendha.

Mastering Travelling-with-a-capital-T has made it convenient for Rand to show up everywhere, much to the dismay of everyone else. On the border of Tear he pops to jolly along the assorted Tairen, Cairhienin and Aiel troops of the massive army gathered for the sheer purpose of making Sammael sweat and keep his attention while the real plot happens elsewhere. We learn that cultural differences in humour are funny, that there are rebels in the woods, that Mat is to take command (hot) and also that other people are as exasperated by the ‘let’s name the nation after the capital city or vice versa’ trend as I am. On his way to meet the rest of the army, but not being too quick about it for plot reasons, Mat and his Band of Red Hand are crowding the streets of Maerone and dancing with the serving maids. Turns out memories of past lives come with dance steps as well as battle skills, which is way more up Mat’s street than this whole General business, though he has begrudgingly decided that if he is to do the job he’ll do it well, including setting up a clever system of policing behaviour. I’ve written ‘um we are served’ next to the sequence about Rand popping right into Mat’s room at night for, uh, war counsel. Mat also accidentally adopts an orphan kid, before finally setting his troops on the move, which, honestly, on brand.

In the next episode of the Forsaken Hour, Sammael and Graendal match wits in the latter’s orgy chamber. We also get an info dump about the lands beyond the Aiel Waste where it honestly sounds like they’ve at least part solved the problem of dealing with rulers. Turns out the Great Lord has summoned all his apostles and made promises of status, and that Mesaana is tucked away in the White Tower (Alviarin that you?). Semirhage, that poor misunderstood sadist who just wanted to hurt the people a bit before healing them, is breaking down a captured Aes Sedai and her Warder with some nerve manipulation, because Shaidar Haran said so, and apparently what this Speshul Myrddraal says is as good as the Dark One’s own command.

Elayne and Nynaeve are using Elayne’s clever ter’angreal copies to visit Tel’aran’rhiod, and teach Siuan, Leane and a gaggle of other Aes Sedai to navigate the place. To say that they and the Aiel Wise One Dreamwalkers aren’t quite reaching amicable working relationship is both accurate and grossly underestimated. A routine search of the dream version of Elaida’s study and the accompanying geopolitical update get interrupted as most women get pulled into a nightmare and tortured by Trollocs, from which Elayne’s quick thinking saves them but not until some injuries and trauma, and being witnessed by Demandred who is lurking. In the real Salidar, Elayne gets to teach novices, Moghedien does laundry, Logain is telling every visiting noble about how Red Sisters forced him into being a False Dragon, Siuan and Bryne flirt aggressively, Nynaeve meets Theodrin who is going to help her with her channelling block and practices detecting male channelling with Moghedien. News that Elaida has sent an emissary to Salidar does not sit well with anyone.

Over in Amadicia, Pedron Niall suffers through a ‘state of the world’ update from his fake spymaster and then the real one and believes some of the right and some of the wrong things. Spreading rumours that Rand is a Black Ajah puppet and that rest of them are repenting their sins and flocking to the Whitecloaks seems like a viable plan. Morgase is plotting though still caught in the gilded cage Niall has set. In Caemlyn, Rand rediscovers every day that ruling is hard especially with a dead man’s voice in one’s head and freak ta’veren powers causing havoc everywhere. News that two Aes Sedai have arrived in the city reveals Alanna and Verin with One Power inclined Two Rivers girls in tow. On the plus side Rand gets to be treated like a Real Boy for a bit and gets some actual news from home, including Lord Perrin’s heroics. On the, uh, minus side, he also walks straight into Alanna’s noncon Warder binding like a numpty and doesn’t take it well at all. Verin is not particularly happy about Alanna’s impulse decision either, left to soothe the following hysterics on top of dealing with the news of the split Tower. She does have her own agenda though clearly. Rand deals with his new status by checking in on the farm school where Mazrim has gotten his pupils to explode some rocks. C+ I would say. He also suggests a far more proactive recruitment drive which Rand agrees to despite Lews frothing at his incorporeal mouth. I’ve written ‘the hate sex tho?’ in the margins because I have no shame.

Elayne and Nynaeve are trying to find what the Hall in Exile is discussing with the Tower’s emissary Tarna, to no success. Moghedien insinuates now might be the time to split toward Caemlyn and Rand, just in case the decision is to hand them all over to Elaida in exchange for pardon, especially as there are definitely Elaida’s supporters in Salidar. It’s a thought that nags at Nynaeve enough to try and recruit Birgitte to the scheme, with not great success. Disappointingly, we learn that literally all the women Elayne and Nyneave rescued have turned out to either be the literal Forsaken or just generally arseholes, would have preferred a different life lesson about helping people to be delivered here. Nynaeve gets interrogated about her knowledge of Rand, drops some traditional eaves to learn that the Rebel Aes Sedai are avoiding making an actual decision by asking for more time to consider, and has a violent yet unsuccessful lesson with Theodrin. To top off her bad, no good, day, Elayne is not keen on the ‘run off to Caemlyn’ plan and Tarna shows up to suggest Nynaeve ought to come with her back to the Tower. To help them decide what to do, they try the ‘take me to the thing I need’ trick on Tel’aran’rhiod and find the Bowl of the Winds in Ebou Dar.

Egwene is avoiding her friends in the dream world for reasons. She’s recovering from Lanfear’s head injury well enough to go on illegal dreamwalks, and ponder about the parallel universes revealed by the dreams of people from said universes. She also gets caught in Gawyn’s romantic rescue fantasy dream about her and has some dream sex. In Salidar, Elayne and Nynave are having a much less pleasant night as a bubble of evil surfaces and furniture starts attacking people. Both get a taste of linking with other Aes Sedai to deal with that and Nicola (one of the women they rescued) gives a foretelling that I’m excited to interpret at least in part. Same goes for Egwene’s dreams although a distressing amount of those are about petty jealousies. We learn that some gai’shain are refusing to give up their service once their time is up, and that reason Egwene got pulled into Gawyn’s dream was love. My demi-leaning ass cannot comprehend why characters who barely interact somehow fall in love. In Salidar, the body count is needlessly high, Tarna departs in a huff, and Nynaeve and Elayne rather snap at the Aes Sedai when they are not allowed to go collect that windy dish, calling them cowards for refusing to commit to Rand. They’re right and they should say it, but pot scrubbing still results.

In Caemlyn, Rand is courting some of Morgase’s old allies, trying to convince that he really means to give Elayne the Lion Throne (though failing to realise that you can’t give someone what is already theirs sooooo). We also learn Rand’s mum was actually the previous daughter-heir Tigraine which means that Galad is his half-brother and whilst Elayne isn’t like blood-relation (Rand and Galad have the same mother but different father, Galad and Elayne have the same father but different mother) it does get a bit incesty on principle. I’m not, like, against that, just saying. Also, the Aes Sedai who was advisor to Tigraine and her family was the very same that prophesied Rand’s birth. A messenger from Sammael shows up to suggest a truce and promptly dies when Rand refuses. It’s enough to prompt a change of scenery and Rand pops to see how Berelain (whom he’s given charge on account of her actually knowing how to rule a nation and not wanting another one besides her own) and Rhuarc are doing in Cairhien. Pretty well it turns out though they do disagree over the new trend of Cairhien women learning to swordfight and many adopting version of ji’e’toh to deal with disagreements and duels. There’s some more info dump about Shamara/Shara with stuff that sure looks like racist Arab stereotypes, and Rand also has to sentence someone he knows to hang because they killed a man over tattoos. It’s enough to drive any man to search some solitude though Rand doesn’t really find it anywhere what with Lews and now Alanna in his head too. Distraction is sought in the new school he started to preserve knowledge where the students put on a show and tell of old/new re/inventions of anything from print press to steam engine. Rand also confers with an old scholar about the cyclic nature of time and reality. Egwene asks Rand to ask the Wise Ones to let her back into training which makes no sense, and instead almost blabs where Elayne is.

Rand exits Cairhien post-haste the following morning after a night of dreaming of past/parallel universe tech, but not without having to go through a massive gaggle of every flavour of person who had some claim or interest in him. He manages to talk his guard down to two when in any palace, much to everyone’s disgust. Egwene and Melaine both follow him to Caemlyn and more prophetic dreams are shared. The Bowl of the Winds features once more as do Rand’s three ladies. Aviendha really needs to have that chat with Elayne soon, I am getting tired of the angsty drama. Three Ogier rock up in Caemlyn; Loial’s mum, wife-to-be (though it’ll be news to him) and old teacher, all eager to locate him before the Longing takes him. Rand gets updated maps out of the encounter, learning locations of all the Waygates and Steddings so he can guard the former against the Shadowspawn using them for travel. In exchange to quick Travel to Two Rivers where he assumes Loial still is, Rand convinces the Ogier and fails to stop several Aiel to pop over to Shadar Logoth to locate the Waygate there. Shadar Logoth is, if possible, creepier than last time. Lews is not a fan either and is starting to have full conversations with Rand in his head. Rand leaves a nasty trap outside the Waygate for any Shadowspawn, but the company loses one Maiden (the very same who had just been kind to Aviendha btw) who vanishes and has to be left behind.

On the slow march to Tear to replace Weiramon, Mat is juggling to pass the time, whilst also recruiting skilled poachers and horsethieves as his scouts. In true Jordan fashion, we get some casual fatphobia once more over exclaiming how a fat person can still be competent at something, the shock. They discover a destroyed Tinker camp with everyone killed and a vague message to Rand (Fain, this your handiwork?). Mat almost gets assassinated by some Shaido who had been dropped into the camp via a portal, making it Forsaken work. His adopted son Olver is still tacking along and Mat makes him a messenger and gives him a horse, whilst being stitched up. I have one of those ‘I cannot with this man’ moments over the whole thing. In Illian, Graendal visits Sammael who has found a stasis box of all sorts of dark and terrible marvels including something that comes with ‘once-human playing pieces’ which we are probably better off not knowing more about. He lies to Graendal that Rand agreed to the truce and for some reason she buys it, ratting out locations of other Forsaken.

Egwene, now back in Cairhien, is enjoying a walk in the city and pondering on her Aiel cultural assimilation (and infuriatingly still disliking Berelain, like please can we stop with this) when she sees the Tar Valon embassy and goes to warn the Wise Ones. Egwene provides what intelligence she can but must stay out of sight as at least two of the Sisters would recognise her from her time as Novice. Even so, she goes to the house they’re staying in to eavesdrop with OP though learns preciously little. Predictably, she runs straight into (literally) Gawyn and within minutes they are professing undying love for each other and snogging. Like, good for them I guess, but I am still having difficulties with someone developing this depth of emotion this quickly. Anyway, at least she tries to dissuade him that Rand didn’t kill his mum, and also lets him know that his sister is fine and also she’ll be bonding him as her Warder. Tower emissaries are whispering into eager ears around the city, including some who has at least put a front of loyalty to Rand.

Meanwhile, Rand is checking out a showcase of Saldean horsemanship and failing to earn the approval of Faile’s mum. He almost gets assassinated by some Whitecloaks but a number of Aiel sacrifice themselves to protect him, which he’s not best pleased about. We get a further history lesson on Caemlyn’s queens and Rand is relieved to find out that he isn’t related to Elayne. Egwene and Gawyn continue to snog around Cairhien, although when Rand returns she is in hurry to go tell him not to do anything silly like follow the Tower embassy back to Tar Valon. He has his own plans though, but hides Egwene with OP when meeting the Aes Sedai who have brought him some gold. They don’t get the answer they want of course, but we learn that Nesune is clever, if creepy with her specimen boxes.

AaaanD we pick up with Rand in a temper, bothering everyone and worried Lews is going to just take over his body during the night (uhhhh-huh), which is not unreasonable as he definitely seems to be talking back (timey-wimey connection?). Rand keeps ignoring Sea Folk communications because this is a side plot we’re saving for another book I assume. Meanwhile, Sulin has taken on servant duties to meet her toh and her banging of doors serves as a running gag for several chapters. There’s a letter from the Queen of Ghealdan and Rand thinks he ought to do something about Masema (no shit) but doesn’t actually get to it. A gray man attacks Rand but Taim kills him before they manage to interrogate him, which Rand is not best pleased about. We get a reminder that Padan Fain is still around and casually torturing and raping people.

In Salidar, everyone is sweating and Nynaeve is clashing with people, including Myrelle who, I’m assuming is on a mission to toughen her up ready for Lan. Theodrin’s efforts to break Nynaeve’s block are increasingly entertaining. Thom and Juilin are back with news from Amadicia including Morgase’s current location, though no one believes that rumour. Nynaeve accidentally heals Logain, and then purposefully does the same for Siuan and Leane, and ngl I cried a bit at that scene. This makes Nynaeve a hot commodity amidst the entire Yellow Ajah of course. Unfortunately, it turns out that restored OP is not as strong as it used to be and therefore Siuan can’t just shake Bryne quite the way she wants to, and why she also fails in the gamble to get her back onto the Amyrlin Seat. We get a crash course on Aes Sedai hierarchies, and a tentative friendship is agreed between Siuan and Leane and Elayne and Nynaeve. Siuan’s friend Delane is revealed to be a DF when Aran’gar shows up to pretend to be her secretary.

Eamon Valda, fresh from indiscriminate murder of refugees, arrives in Amador, less than impressed to learn Niall is courting Morgase. In the Dome of Truth, he thinks about taking Niall’s spot and plots treason with the High Inquisitor himself. Niall still fails to believe the intelligence re Seanchans, which, I assume, is surely going to come and bite him on his wrinkled ass. Enough is made out of his ‘tingly feelings’ re world events that I’m just going to assume he’s able to channel too. Morgase’s hope of a rescue plan is dashed when the people organising that are caught and hung in front of her in what she thinks is a deliberate taunt but what actually is a pure coincidence. Unclear is whether they were actually Darkfriends or not, though Tallanvor sure didn’t trust them anyway. Assuming she’s out of options, Morgase sign’s Niall’s treaty of allowing Whitecloaks into Caemlyn in exchange for their help in getting the throne back. But of course, now that he has her signature, Niall is finding excuses to delay. But don’t count out Morgase yet.

In Cairhien, everyone is on edge, with Shaido around. Egwene keeps canoodling with Gawyn, but takes time to try and talk with the Sea Folk, only to get thrown into the river for her trouble. She douses them in return but unfortunately that does not lead to improved relations. She is at least finally allowed officially back into Tel’aran’rhiod. Once there though, the Salidar Aes Sedai issue formal summons for her to arrive post haste. Rand spies all of this and learns where the rebel Aes Sedai, and Elayne, are hiding. There is also a throwaway line about whoever draws out Callandor would be the one follow after him, and I am intrigued to see if this plot thread actually develops. Egwene thinks she is summoned to face punishment for pretending to be a full Aes Sedai but her time with the Aiel has toughened her up enough that she doesn’t even hesitate. She doesn’t want to go before fessing up to the Wise Ones about her lying though (ngl I was so relieved this came to light, turns out I really hate it when characters keep things from each other), and so endures a night of communal beating to meet her toh before stepping into Tel’aran’rhiod in flesh.

Elsewhere Mat is playing board games with his adopted son when Rand pops in with Aviendha in tow, and sends Mat off to fetch Elayne from Salidar, and the others too if they want to come (so magnanimous of him) and I guess also gather up all the Dragonsworn on the way back, why not. The whole interaction between Mat and Rand is fascinating. Also, when Mat thinks you’re being needlessly provocative, it’s a sign to chill the fuck out. Although, to be fair, Mat also thinks Aviendha is going to murder Elayne in jealous rage, so shows how much he knows.

Egwene, with her Aiel heart and Two Rivers head, rides dream-Bela (aww!) and crosses the distance to Salidar in one night. Could’ve used a few more to be honest, just to settle, because what waits there is an ascension to the Amyrlin Seat. There’s pomp and circumstance, feet-washing and boobs (Jordan’s ritual nudity kink is reaffirmed) and I both enjoy the whole scene immensely (I love high protocol so) and shake my head at the foolishness of the Aes Sedai thinking Egwene will be biddable in any shape or form, the poor deluded women. She demonstrates that the very next day when, instead the pompous speech written by others, Egwene makes her ascension speech short and snappy: Sheriam will be the keeper, a number of Accepted (including Elayne and Nynaeve) will be raised to Aes Sedai oath rod or no oath rod, Elaida shall fall, and everyone is to party. She has also clocked onto the dynamics at play and settles in for a long haul, pretending to be just biddable enough to actually be able to make her own decisions. She is helped in that by her new servant Chesa, Siuan who is going to teach her all she knows, and of course Elayne and Nynaeve who I’m so glad to see will continue to maintain the close friendship at least in private. The woman is a leader (born yes, but honed too by Aiel in particular) and I love her.

Egwne also plans for association of Aes Sedai and other women who can channel, and to keep women who can’t make it to the full Aes Sedai status instead sending them away. The winds of change are blowing. To my immense relief, Elayne and Nynaeve also fess about Moghedien. Egwene takes immediate possession of the a’dam bracelet, demonstrates just how intimidating she can be and figures out Travelling with very little prompting. While Egwene receives some proper intel from Siuan and Elayne and Nynaeve go pick their Ajahs, Aes Sedai – some of them definitely Darkfriends – continue to plot across various factions, although Elayne and Nynaeve are stirring the pot in Egwene’s favour.

Thanks to Rand’s gateway, Mat arrives in Salidar, curses Rand and his ‘there’s only fifty of them, loom a little’ suggestions anew, and quite sensibly takes only a small party to follow Aviendha to the village proper. The reunion between him, Egwene, Elayne and Nynaeve isn’t the smoothest, all of them posturing and thinking they know what’s best for each other, which unsurprisingly doesn’t lead to anything productive. Mat wants to whisk Elayne off to Rand as promised and is willing to ‘rescue’ Egwene while at it. The ladies think they can make use of Mat and his army in a different way, not least to staff the trip to Ebou Dar to find that windy bowl. Egwene starts manoeuvring the whole of Bryne’s army in that direction as well, quite rightly realising that the time to sit and stew is long past. Mat delivers Moiraine’s letter to Thom (will we ever get the resolution of this subplot?) and puts his foot in it. Thom has, unsurprisingly, sussed exactly what kind of balancing act Egwene is doing, and gives some solid advice though it takes Mat a few days actually take it. In the meanwhile, Elayne and Aviendha finally have it out about Rand and no one beats up anyone.

Min has arrived in Caemlyn and wastes no time in getting straight to Rand and plonking herself into his lap, which, honestly, you go girl. He’s not really taking her intentions seriously at all, but he is grateful for the viewings, though less happy about the nine Aes Sedai in the city. Min predicts some marriages and babies and gets Wise One approval, and on the whole Aiel are pleasingly quick to go from ‘romantic rival to be glared at’ to ‘ah Aviendha gets another sister-wife, so nice’. Min also provides much insight into the private agendas and alliances of the Aes Sedai she travelled with, helping Rand know a best way to deal with them.

To deal with his emotions, Rand yeets himself to the calmest place he can… Oh wait. He goes to the farm where Taim is teaching his new army of battle ready male channellers and embraces the new moniker of the ‘Black Tower’ because of the drama. And, as if that wasn’t enough, assigns ranks of Soldier, Dedicated and Asha’man (‘guardian’) and gives everyone shiny lapel pins to go with that. Taim has some very conflicted feelings about his (what is his problem?). Rand is having increasing trouble keeping Lews from just seizing saidin and control. Back in Caemlyn, Merana who is in charge of the Salidar embassy is having to negotiate some complex hierarchies and dynamics amidst the Aes Sedai, not helped by Verin and Alanna’s presence. Some of them are definitely singing to their own hymnsheets, sowing dispute among the nobles.

In Salidar, Mat is doing some thinking, some minor sulking and more dancing with Aran’gar than is strictly speaking good for his health. He also turns down several invites to become a Warder. After a few days, he’s ready to concede that accompanying Elayne and Nynaeve to Ebou Dar might be a feasible course of action after all. Mat picks his team, and Egwene and co come and see them off. In a move that is so quintessentially Mat that I both cheered and cried a bit, he gets absolutely incensed seeing people not pay enough respect to his hometown girl and puts all his charm and protocol lessons to good use, gets down on his knees to greet her and makes his troupe do the same (listen, you don’t understand, voluntary kneeling and ritualised interactions are like my weakness, I loved this scene So Much).

Perrin, Faile, Loial and their retinue finally arrive in Caemlyn and Perrin lets his need (his words, not mine) to be near Rand (‘or maybe Rand’s need for him’…) pull him all the way to his chambers. There is an extremely tedious subplot about Faile’s pathological jealousy, first of Min, then later Berelain, and it’s not cute or funny and I don’t like it. News are exchanged and whilst Rand makes some noises about sending Perrin to Tear, he manages to resist that. Perrin has a drink with Faile’s dad and manages to secure his approval, though her mum’s is a bit more difficult to come by. After making much about how strong Saldean women are, Jordan can’t resist inserting some bullshit ‘but ultimately strong women must have stronger husbands so they can submit to them’ caveat and I vomit in my mouth a bit. Ugh. Min’s viewing suggests that Rand better keep Perrin close by. In the city, Demira, one of the Salidar Aes Sedai is almost killed in an attack they think is orchestrated by Rand, but sounds like it was Taim’s boys going behind Rand’s back…

On the way to Ebou Dar, all the Aes Sedai want a piece of Mat and his medallion while Elayne wraps half of his men around her little finger. The fact that Birgitte is her Warder is out of the bag. People of Ebou Dar are really into duels and while Mat and his men settle in an inn, Elayne and co stay at the palace although the reception is frosty to begin with. But then they have a chat with Queen Tylin, who is understandably a bit peeved as she has Whitecloaks underfoot as well, never mind Aes Sedai and their army on her borders, but an understanding is reached when Elayne puts her diplomacy lessons to use and also like, tells the truth.

Loial arrives in Caemlyn and swoons a bit when he hears Erith is after him. Salidar Aes Sedai, operating under the assumption that Rand tried to kill one of their own, arrive to deliver a stern message to Rand, who just sees Aes Sedai defying his rules and taunting him. No one actually bothers to explain or question anything (god I just wanted to shake them) which is why the encounter goes very badly indeed. Min is also frustrated and at least tries to figure out what’s going on. Two more Aes Sedai arrive in the city unexpectedly, making the number to thirteen, which lights a fire under Rand’s ass and he flees to Cairhien, pausing only long enough to write some letters. Merana is losing control of the embassy thanks to the newcomers, while Verin is playing on a whole another level in this game.

In Cairhien Rand is recovering from the Gateway jump that took it out of him. He takes Min to visit Fel and gets some more prophecy hints. Min’s vision see unhappy endings for most of the local nobles, and someone who sounds suspiciously like Galad for Berelain. Whilst Rand is enjoying the calm before the torture box, Perrin is suffering because jealousy is a personality trait we must assign to Faile apparently. This domestic drama is not fun and I largely feel about it the way Loial does. Apparently, everyone also loses their collective braincell and doesn’t suspect anything when the Aes Sedai bring many ‘servants’ (= Aes Sedai in disguise) with them to a meeting with Rand and then snatch him up like he was a fucking toy poodle and stuff him in a box. On top of that, it takes many days until anyone gets suspicious of the ‘oh he’s just popped back to Caemlyn’ story.

In Ebou Dar, Mat is experiencing frustrations over not being able to track Elayne and Nyneave on their trips to search for the Windy Bowl in the rough part of town. The search is still slow but at least they have the Queen’s backing now. Egwene is priming Logain about Rand’s male channellers, and sweeping up everyone who is anyone along with her army, trapping them in an alliance with her. Clever, clever, clever. The three of them, plus the Wise Ones, convene in the Tel’aran’rhiod regularly so at least everyone is kept more or less appraised of what’s happening elsewhere. Egwene is letting Logain escape on purpose because there’s not much else she can do with him without consequences, hoping that he’ll run off to join Rand and his Asha’man (incidentally, I cannot fucking wait for Logain and Taim meet, I am expecting some sparks). Meanwhile, Lan has finally caught up with Myrelle, though it is very clear he’s lost all will to actually live (also cannot fucking wait for the reunion with him and Nynaeve).

In Cairhien, a depressingly heterosexual orgy is in full swing, Perrin and Faile are still fighting while Berelain is stirring it, but at last the penny drops that Rand is maybe in trouble. That finally snaps Sulin out of her self-imposed punishment and back into ca’dinsor. Meanwhile, Rand is having a Very Bad Time in Galina’s (remember she’s Black Ajah) hands, and even Gawyn (the sweet deluded fool) thinks that daily beatings and box storage are a bit much. Sevanna is clearly in on some plots but predictably turns on the Aes Sedai as soon as their backs are turned, but also on her own people. Rand is slipping steadily over the edge of sanity, for quite understandable torture reasons, spending some non-quality time with nothing but his inner Lews for company. I suspect that Galina’s orders are to drive him mad on purpose so that the ‘Lord of Chaos will reign’. In Cairhien, rescue mission is mounted with Perrin in lead of a motley crew of Shaido and his own men, some more people from every nation Rand has either conquered or established relations with, not to mention a troupe of the Wise Ones. Most gratifyingly of all, Perrin is willingly reaching out to the wolves to use them as his eyes and ears to locate Galina’s group. There is some interesting detail about hierarchy jostling among the Aiel and Loial and Perrin have a heart-to-heart about marriage. The group meets up with the Two Rivers retinue who had picked up the Salidar Aes Sedai on their way from Caemlyn. Forces are joined albeit with some suspicion.

Everyone shows up for the epic battle to finish the book. Shaido are there. Perrin and his various groups too. Aes Sedai of all flavours. A thousand wolves arrive. And if that wasn’t enough, the Asha’man drop in to explode people in a very graphic way. Meanwhile, Rand who has been biding his time to break out of the binding maintained on him, seizes his moment. He free and very mad now. He stills a bunch of Aes Sedai, almost loses it completely thinking Min is dead, and eventually collars the Asha’man. He almost lets a bunch of allies be slaughtered outside the protective dome Taim and co have set up but sees reason eventually. The good guys win, and whilst I’m all for Aes Sedai swearing fealty I get a strong NOFUCKYOU reaction over the fact over women being forced to kneel to do that, like I’m sorry but it’s a squick.

Anyway, just in case you thought that was the end, Jordan is slipping in an epilogue now: Black Ajah is in Ebou Dar, Fel gets killed by a gholam, Seanchans are coming back, Aran’gar frees Moghedien, Demandred seems awfully pleased with himself.

THE END
 

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