dear Harry. stop. pls give back f-list. stop. will pay for new glasses in return. stop.

[kat_lair]

O HAI!

Have you all finished with the BOOKTHATATEMYFLIST? Because, um, I quite liked having you guys around and now everywhere I've turned for the last two weeks, it's been all Harry this and Harry that. Which is fine, I respect your fannish glee and all that jazz, but omg come back quick I miss the regular stuff...

Would also like to point out that I haven't read the latest HP book yet, no not even the "speshul early internet release" (thought the whole ordeal kept me sniggering for a good while...). In fact, I haven't even read Harry Potter and Half-Blood Prince yet.

o_O

That's right, folks. I am out of the HP loop. Will make a half-hearted attempt to rectify the situation as soon as the nearest library acquires the books and the reservation queues reach single digits.

PS. This does not make me amenable to deliberate spoilers. Unless Voldemort turns out to be Harry's real father. In which case feel free to tell me about it in great detail.

Comments

[trialia]

ROFL.

Finished reading it once, but I plan on reading it again tomorrow. XD! Don't fuck with a mother with a wand! *giggle* Also, I wish I could use my spoiler icon on you, 'cause it kicks all kinds of butt.

Also, AFA getting the books from the library is concerned, reserve while the queue is still long or you may well not get them. You'll only have to wait longer if you decide to wait until the queue's gone down...

P.S. Dude, I wish. James Potter is such a lame character for the most part, bleh to him.

P.P.S. Read a great new McKay/Zelenka fic yesterday. It's on wondergeeks, called Buddy Breathing. Go read!

[kat-lair.livejournal.com]

Hee! I thank you for restraining yourself from using spoilery icons

And thank you for the offer (below) to borrow the book. I may take you up on that once I'm back in the UK (still in Finland until the end of August), if I don't get it from somewhere else...

P.S. Agreed about James Potter, he always seemed just too perfect.
P.P.S. I saw that and read. Was doing Crossroads updates yesterday so it got added... Good fic.

[trialia]

*nods and smiles angelically*

Feel free, darling! So long as you take good care of it, and I know you will, you can borrow it for as long as you need. I'm at LFCC in London the first weekend in September - you should come! Torri and Mary McDonnell are gonna be there! - but I'll be home after that.

[trialia]

As for new glasses... *splorfs and falls off chair giggling*

[kat-lair.livejournal.com]

Hehe, how are your new glasses holding up?

[trialia]

Quite well, thank you! *g* I notice you never told your flist that they got broken. *giggles*

[kat-lair.livejournal.com]

*covers in shame* omg, the embarrassment. Um, let's confess...

I BROKE trinity1986's GLASSES! BY STEPPING ON THEM WITH MY BIG FAT CLUMSY FEET!

[trialia]

*squishes and huggles* Your feet are not fat or clumsy. You were just distracted helping hold my hair back, and I forgive you. ;)

[kat-lair.livejournal.com]

*is squishy* I know you forgive me babes, it was still a prime *facepalm* moment... Still can't believe that I escaped from financial responsibility with just a lunch... Thank the government and sheer timing!

[claudia-writes.livejournal.com]

I read. I OMG'd. I wrote fic.

Nuff'said.

Can't you borrow the book from somebody? I'm sure pretty much every fangirl in the planet has it.

I'm off to Suomi tomorrow! yay!

[trialia]

If I knew whether she was in Finland or in England right now, I'd lend her my copy. :P

[kat-lair.livejournal.com]

I saw that you wrote fic and blinked furiously at it. Remind me to come back to it once I've read the books...

Ja tervetuloa kotimaahan!

[tartary-lamb.livejournal.com]

I, um, haven't read Half-Blood Prince OR Deathly Hallows yet and probably never will. So, er, take refuge with me! Er, or not. o_O

[kat-lair.livejournal.com]

*clings* Let's build a pretty refuge full of fairy lights and cookies.

Also: serious icon love.

[pushkin666.livejournal.com]

I read it yesterday. Wish I hadn't bothered to be honest. Would have been far more constructive if I'd spent the time writing. Sigh...

[kat-lair.livejournal.com]

I'm taking this to mean you weren't too happy with the outcome? And your icon makes me giggle...

[pushkin666.livejournal.com]

No I wasn't happy. The first third of the book was excellent after that - meh!

[inkblot-fiend.livejournal.com]

Regular scheduled posting will resume as soon as the tears have dried and fic has been deployed.

Until then, we'll be playing soothing jazz all through the coming week, and offering one lucky reader a free pack of valium every half hour.

Goodnight. :)

[kat-lair.livejournal.com]

To Whom It May Concern,

I would like to respectfully request Carl Orff's Carmina Burana, which, even though strictly not jazz, appears to fit the current LJ climate very well.

Also, if there is a choice of prescription drugs, could you please send something a bit more... hallucinogenic?

Yours in anticipation,
Kat

[trialia]

Heeeeeeee. I love Carl Orff...

[inkblot-fiend.livejournal.com]

Dear Listener

Thank you for your interest regarding our programme. Please find enclosed a signed photo of your broadcaster and one [1] promotional pack of valium.

For future reference, please bear in mind that our offers are non-negotiable, and music played is purely at the discretion of the host. If you have any other enquiries regarding our service or future promotions, please send your letters to:

The Giant Pile of Rubbish
Liverpool Dock Road
PO BOX whatever-this-thing's-for

Yours Faithfully,
the Automated Response Robot
Inkblot Fiend

[mf_luder_xf]

Must say, love icon. Sooooo true on all accounts. LOL

[kat-lair.livejournal.com]

Hee, it is very true indeed. Can't remember where I snagged it from, but the maker is credited in the pic comments.

you asked

[bloodrebel333.livejournal.com]

It was magnificent. It was glorious. The Final Battle was at its end, Tommy had lost an eye, Harry had torn a sleeve, and from the sideline Bella was looking for the right moment to Accio Mad-Eye's eye from beneath the tree.

"Tommy!" cried Harry. "I have come to release the WW from your grip!"
"Oh, Harry," jeered Tommy, "Harry, Harry, Harry. Didn't Dumbledore tell you that I'm in pieces, and INVINCIBlE because of it? In fact, all my PIECES ARE INVINCIBLE."
"Your pieces are dead, Tommy," laughed Harry tantalisingly, "except for your big snake there, sliding between your legs as we speak."
Tommy looked up in fear and disbelief. "WHAT? BUT THIS CANNOT BE! MY BITS ARE SAFE, I TELL YOU. SAFE!"
Harry just smirked.
Tommy shuddered.
Tommy gasped.
Tommy smiled.
"Did Albinavy ever tell you," he started with a strange glint in his eyes, "what really happened the day I killed the Potters?"
"Yeah," said Harry with a challenging, bitter smile, "he said you killed my parents, but was unable to kill me because my parents died to protect me!"
"Wrong, my young Harry," Tommy said. "Oh so wrong. Lily wouldn't have been the first mother in the world to die for her children. Oh no. The real reason you survived was because of something I should've known all along, if only I'd had the chance to lay my eyes on you sooner."
"What do you mean?" Harry asked, confusion showing in his eyes.
"I mean, Harry, that if I'd known before, I would've forced Lily to step aside, and let me pick you up by myself. I'd have known not to believe her when she so desperately told me she had no strings attached to me any longer."
"Quit hinting! Tell me what you mean, in the name of Merlin's baggy y-fonts!"
"What I mean to say is, that Lily loved me long before she even knew Potter's middle name. What I mean to say is, she told me it was over, and that she was pregnant of him, and would not answer my call any longer! What I mean to say is, she lied to me! You were mine! You were mine from the beginning!"
The crowd at the sideline gasped, realising something Harry did not.
"What do you mean, old disturbed snake?!"
"Harry," Tommy said, a joyful, triumphant glint in his eyes, "I am your father."
Hermione fainted. Bella's bottom lip trembled.
Harry stared.
"...you're raving. Mad. Raving mad. I mean, I knew you were, but this just shows, again, that you're raving. Mad. Ravind mad."
Tommy looked a bit taken aback by this.
"Harry, did you hear what I said?"
"Yeah, yeah," said Harry, "mum was a catch, prettiest flower in the garden, slipped the Potions crown off Snape's slippery head, slipped on the pool of grease at Snape's feet, slipped into a cauldron of Polyjuice Potion with a bunch of my dad's hairs in it, gave birth to me in there and look! I'd swallowed so much of the potion that I was cursed to be James Potter's lookalike forever! Except for the eyes, of course. The eyes were MAGICALLY DOMINANT."
"Harry, I am your father."
"Sure you are, mate. I'll make sure to note that in my will, to let them bury me next to you once I'm dead."
Tommy looked happy and remorseful for the first time in his life. "You... would do that? After all I've done?"
Harry looked up, frowning. "Now, wait a minute... when I said-"
"Oh, thank you, Harry! Thank you!"
And finally, for the first time since his youth, Tommy's remaining eye turned blue again. This was all because remorse© was the one cure to the disease called Soul-Cut-In-Pieces-Because-I-Killed-Too-Many-Suckers, and Tommy became whole again.
Harry stared.
Slowly, the man that had dropped to the floor stirred, gathered himself up and stood facing him once again. Tom smiled, and held open his arms.
"Hello, Harry."
Harry rushed forward into his arms.
Bella nearly suffocated on the big blue eye she'd Summoned from beneath the tree after biting on it nervously as she'd been watching the revealing of the truth. Molly slapped her on the back. Their eyes locked.
Seeing where this was leading, Ronald chose to join Hermione on the floor, for of course no one had thought of picking her up.
And so they all lived happily ever after, and by time, all the bad memories of the heroes's youths faded, until, last of all, Harry's scar.

Re: you asked

[kat-lair.livejournal.com]

*cries tears of laughter* omg honey, this is some good crack you got here.

Tell me what you mean, in the name of Merlin's baggy y-fonts! - lol, and also eww!

"Yeah, yeah," said Harry, "mum was a catch, prettiest flower in the garden, slipped the Potions crown off Snape's slippery head, slipped on the pool of grease at Snape's feet, slipped into a cauldron of Polyjuice Potion with a bunch of my dad's hairs in it, gave birth to me in there and look! I'd swallowed so much of the potion that I was cursed to be James Potter's lookalike forever! Except for the eyes, of course. The eyes were MAGICALLY DOMINANT." - IT EXPLAINS SO MUCH! *dies from asphyxiation*

And finally, for the first time since his youth, Tommy's remaining eye turned blue again. This was all because remorse© was the one cure to the disease called Soul-Cut-In-Pieces-Because-I-Killed-Too-Many-Suckers, and Tommy became whole again. - ahahahaaa, omg I'm going to be so disappointed now if there isn't some sort of touching Hug-of-Ultimate-Love-and-Forgiveness in the book now...

Thank you! You crazy, wonderful crack-head! *squishes you*

Re: you asked

[trialia]

...okay, the scary part is, that "Merlin's baggy Y-fronts" part? Is not *her* crack. I'm not spoiling you too much by telling you that, am I? *laughs*

As for the rest... dude, that is SCARY crack. XD!

Re: you asked

[bloodrebel333.livejournal.com]

Thankyou!

And yes, I cracked up when she screamed "Merlin's pants!" And he made it so much better by asking what "in the name of Merlin's baggy Y-fonts" that was about.

Harry Potter is not Harry Potter without these kinds of conversations.

Re: you asked

[bloodrebel333.livejournal.com]

:D Glad you liked it.

(Actually, "Merlin's baggy y-fonts" is canon.)

Re: you asked

[kat-lair.livejournal.com]

I did. "Merlin's baggy y-fonts" is canon - is it wrong that that makes me want to catch up with the books all the more now?

[lolabobs.livejournal.com]

Got to say - I love your icon! Oh so very true - and so handy some of those phrases and often utilised!

[kat-lair.livejournal.com]

It's shameful how often I find myself using some of the phrases when writing academic stuff... The icon is indeed fantastic. Can't remember where I got it from but the maker is credited in the pic info so snag away if you want.

[entangled-now.livejournal.com]

It is 'The Book That Ate The Internet' at the moment. I have already readed it and gone back to writing filth, Mwhahaha!

I love your icon, it makes me want to be a scientist!

[kat-lair.livejournal.com]

Yay for filth! I'm gonna email you about youknowwhat later today also, haven't forgotten about it, just... distracted.

Icon is love, maker is credited in pic info.

[moth2fic.livejournal.com]

Have book. Have finished it. If you promise to finish it before Connotations you can borrow it but Gail wants/needs it. *promises no spoilers*

[kat-lair.livejournal.com]

Greatness! We'll see how busy I am once I get back but I will certainly keep the offer in mind, thank you!

[planetkiller.livejournal.com]

Since you asked...

Voldy is Harry's dad. Tonks accidentally kills Voldemort with a satasuma. Neville is in fact Harry and *Dean Thomas's* kid from the future. Luna is in fact the only sane person on the planet and grows up to be headmistress. Dudley is actually a wizard who becomes MOM and Molly Weasley is kickass. Also, the last Horcrux is apparently Merlin's underwear.

I'm just not around because it's the last week of summer session and one of my students told me *Friday* that he hasn't understood anything since the first chapter. And the 12 chapter final is Wednesday...

[kat-lair.livejournal.com]

*sniggers* Voldy.... hee! I'm going to be unable to call him anything else from now on...

one of my students told me *Friday* that he hasn't understood anything since the first chapter - oh god, I hate when that happens. Don't you just want to shake the little bugger and ask why he thoughts sitting through majority of term and nodding his head emptily was a good idea...

[planetkiller.livejournal.com]

Come! Join the Voldy side of the, er, fandom! Mwhahahaha! *ominous thunder crash*

Since this particular little bugger is five years older than me and I student teach the remedial grad school class, it makes it even worse. (well, it's like a primer for people who've been out of the field for a while and decided they wanted to go to grad school) *and* today as I was passing out the final, one of them raised his hand and said, "I didn't know the final was today. Everybody else is giving finals on Friday!" Despite the fact that it's been in the syllabus since the beginning and that I've explained twice that I scheduled it like this so I can study for *my* finals.

Then the guy behind him asked, "In the formula for figuring out the mass of a star based on gravitational pull, what's the 'g' stand for?" I'll admit that I just laughed in his face. *is a bad teacher*

[kat-lair.livejournal.com]

That is pretty bad... considering that I haven't touched a physics text book since upper secondary school (um, almost ten years ago) and even I remember that g stans for mass...

[wliberation.livejournal.com]

Heh. If it comforts you any, I'm apparently even weirder than you because I've only ever read the first book, and even that was way back when it was first published so I can't even remember it or anything. I will get there some day. ... Eventually. You know, probably. ...Quite probably.

[kat-lair.livejournal.com]

I've sort of come to view unfinished book series the same way I do fanfic WIPs... I often just won't bother until I know it's all finished and definitely available. Waiting between sections just seems like too much bother... My time and brain capacity is limited, dammit!