Live Blogging Eurovision 2013
May. 18th, 2013 07:57 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
kat_lairHeads up folk! I'll be live blogging the awesome cheese fest that is the Eurovision Song Contest! So, pull on your diamonte cat suits and leather capes, and grab snacks and alcohol (lots, and lots of alcohol) and prepare to be dazzled, awed, entertained, confused, disturbed and vaguely aroused.
Post updated periodically!
***
It's an Eurovision caterpillar! Okay that's totally cute.Also it has a mohawk, which is even cuter. Awwwwww. It's going to turn into a Eurovision butterfly...
Hmm, as always I'm in two minds about Graham Norton's narration. He kind of annoys me more than he makes me laugh.
A bridge over sparkly waters?
A very attractive choir.
Ah here are the flags, it is a little like Olympics parade. Aww bless Finland made it though I'm not keen on her song although it might be the requisite pop candy recipe.
Okay this is clearly time to go get food...
...Food and cider achieved.
Wow that's a pink dress. She's very pretty though, and not in an artificial paid way either which is what you often get at these things. Thing about Nordic countries is that at least the English is good.
Lol dancing queens, so true.
Ah yes, butterfly in the flag colours.
01 France
France always sings in French. Defiantly. too bad I don't speak a word of it as I actually really like this song. It has a nice rhythm to it. And we have our first (fake?) leather outfit. Fringes baby, shake 'em. Or you know, rub your hand through them. The longer this song goes on the more excited the singer becomes.
02 Lithuania
Pretty boy from Lithuania. Huh, did he say 'I've got to tell him something'? Is this a gay love confession song? I'm going to choose to believe that because that is the only exciting thing about it. This guy can't really sing. But in my mind he's singing to his male best friend that he's in love with him... because of his shoes? Idk.
03 Moldova
Lol, from backing singer to the main act. WOHOOO PRETTY DANCER BOYS. It just isn't Eurovision without those. Not sure what they're doing; swans? sea gulls? Oh touching. Ahahah oh fuck me yes a singer on a rising podium with a massive dress. THAT'S WHAT I'M TALKING ABOUT.
04 Finland
Bless Finland, song with apparently hidden meaning about how it's a bloody time to legalise gay marriage in Finland. Which I agree with. Man this song doesn't do it for me at all though, it was played a lot in Finland in the radio and music channels. It's catchy Her outfit is cute though with a great amount of ruffles as befitting the occasion. I'm promised a girl-smoochies aaaand there it is, rather nice, although I get the uncomfortable feeling that it's more for titillation than for political statement. Still, apparently Turkey has chosen not to broadcast Eurovision because of that. Might do well for us though.
05 Spain
Spanish bagpipe... I did not know that was a Spanish thing. Canary yellow is a colour that just doesn't work on anyone. I'm bored by the song but her band boys are very pretty. And I'm now slashing up the two guitarists. Oh look it's a floating yellow... lamp? Oh more of them. She's running around with wobbly thighs which is kind of appealing.
06 Belgium
He does not look legal. Those ladies are going to snatch his cradle but good. Is this supposed to be some kind Bond-girl type of thing here? I'm far more interested in the dancers than him. Someone give him a boyband stat, he looks lonely. Song was boring. Hah 18 years old, thought he was youngggggg.
07 Estonia
Oh man it's always so funny listening to Estonian cos I can almost kind of understand it, catches my ear the right way but still leaves me a little puzzled. Closest language to Finnish. Could be that (or maybe the excessive smoke machine abuse) but I do rather like the song. And she's got a good set of lungs on her.
08 Belarus
A GLITTER BALL! PRETTY BOY DANCERS. SEQUINS. ACCENTED ENGLISH. CATCHY DANCE TUNE. FAAAAAAAAAAAVOURITE! She really can't move very well though, looks rather stiff in her attempt to shake her booty. However, this song is making me want to shake mine so instant win.
09 Malta
Hello hot Maltese doctor. How... does that though happen though? Like how does one wake up one morning and figure, 'nope, had enough of medicine now, let's try a career in music'? Still, this is a super cute song that wouldn't sound out of place on Top 40. I also really like the text graphics in the background.
10 Russia
A ballad from Russia. With big round lights. It's quite nice and very hummable. Has a message of unity and love and all that schtick. Nice, don't think it's a winner but quite nice. Okay, the hand-holding at the end was a step too far. Yawn.
11 Germany
Hmm bland dance pop from Germany. Ten seconds in and I'm bored. This better have some special effects or something. Nope. Blah.
12 Armenia
Armenian guy has the flowing locks and well groomed facial hair. Denim seems to be the theme here, there's more of it than at the 90s night at Margate Weatherspoons. Just saying. Also, not impressed with song which is disappointing as apparently it's from the pen of one Tony Iommi from Black Sabbath.
13 The Netherlands
It's been a while since we've seen The Netherlands at the final. For some reason the singer seems familiar.... Possibly it's just the name. Hmm... this is actually a quite interesting song, but really not a right choice for Eurovision. It sounds like it should be on her own album, targeted at city professionals with mid-life crises.
14 Romania
Hello Cesar. Graham Norton builds this up as pretty exciting... AhahahahaaaaaahAAAAAAHAHAHA IT'S THE DARK LORD OF TRANSYLVANIA. *weeps from joy* FUCK ME IT'S A GAY COUNTER-TENOR VAMPIRE LORD. WITH MOSTLY NUDE DANCER BOYS. OH ROMANIA YOU'RE GGETING MY VOTE ON THE THE AWESOME DIAMONTE ENCRUSTED CAPE THINGY ALONE. WHERE HAVE YOU BEEN ALL MY LIFE?
15 United Kingdom
Bless UK, they have trotted out an 80s icon. She certainly has the hair and husky voice to carry it off. Also, I kind of want her top. I'm sadly underwhelmed by the song. But one hopes this doest better than previous attempts.
16 Sweden
Aww a pretty boy for Sweden. He too feels like he's missing the rest of his boyband. I'm quite bored by this song as well. Blah.
17 Hungary
Aww hipster from Hungary. Complete with skinny jeans, large glasses and woolly hat. Adorable. For my own reasons I choose to believe that he's written this song to his pretty (and oddly bouncy) guitarist. the graphics are cute. Aww, I liked that.
18 Denmark
A flutist. And drummer boys. The flutist is very pretty and the singer looked about ready to eat him there, who can blame her. The song is pretty catchy, my head is nodding along. Is she bare-foot? Yeah she is! Kudos! I always thing that if I had to perform in high heels I would be flat on my face.
19 Iceland
My, my he's a Nordic hunk and a half. Has that blonde Viking thing going on, or, as that is now known: Nordic heavy rocker thing. Because walk around any city in the Nordic countries and you encounter this male type: long hair, into some version of metal, probably works in IT and is into fishing and motorcycles. Anyway, forgot about the song already but his voice was awesome.
20 Azerbaijan
Another pretty boy. It looks like he's wearing velvet vest and trousers.... Um, this isn't homoerotic at all... right? The guy in the box is like his subconscious (HIS GAY SUBCONSCIOUS, LET HIM FREE, LET HIM FLY) See, there's confetti and everything.
21 Greece
Best title ever 'Alcohol is free'.... Lol I'm entertained from the start. Harmonica! ALCOHOL, ALCOHOL IS FREE! I'm totally singing along to this. Also the old guy with the world's tiniest mandolin wins at everything ever. I have no idea what that gruff voiced singer/guitarist is suggesting but I'm game!
22 Ukraine
Well fuck me that is a big man. Hope they paid him well since they trotted him out like a circus freak just to carry her about. Anyway, i'm more interested in trying to see if the singer is wearing any underwear than listening to her song. Apparently she's like a butterfly. I like the forest background.
23 Italy
It's another pretty boy (they're starting to all blend together by now, could be the cider though) standing around in a suit. Okay ballad but that's about it. Seriously, this feels like the pee break song. Dashes to the loo.
24 Norway
Wow Norway, I feel blinded already. There's a sinister undertone to this song which I like but she's looking too soft for that, they should've worked that 'I will take you away into my lair and do things to you that you will learn to love and crave' angle more. Erm. Or maybe that's just me. Lalala.
25 Georgia
A quite nice duet. The couple looks refreshingly... normal. I like her dress. Eh, not much to say about this, doesn't light my fire in anyway.
26 Ireland
Thank fuck it's not Jedward. This is my first reaction. The second reaction has a lot to do with the hot drummer boys. The third is mostly about the singer's god awful glittery leather outfit. It's going to get ruined when all those baby oil from the drummers/dancers gets smeared all over it. The song is okay if rather clichéd. Could do very well though, being the last song.
***
Lol, okay the J-P Gaultier joke was pretty funny.
Voting is open... Romania's gay vampire lord remains my favourite. I also liked Greece, Estonia, Belarus, Hungary, and Iceland.
Last year's winner (does anyone remember these ever?) does a medley. Dressed in a lot of feathers. some kick ass overalls the ladies at the back are sporting. Is this a female empowerment song? Wait now it's people with Bedouin outfits. I'm confused. Wait now that is a seriously long cape. I'm not sure about the concept though.
Voting is closed, I didn't bother though so can't bitch.
And we're getting a Bonnier Tyler montage. Yawn.
Oh hello, a Swedish variety performance. Lol. Horny elks. Love the Nordic countries for ability to take piss of themselves, you seriously wouldn't see this from Azerbaijan. LOL RECYCLINGGGGGGGGGG SEE SEE THIS! Lol, Gender equality. AND SAME SEX MARRIAGE YAY. I really liked this smorgasbord!
Some random faffing about backstage etc. Abba cover. Guess it's compulsory being in the Sweden and everything. Not a bad cover though. Plust she has nice curves.
Lol and now for the politically skewed voting. Greece starts strong. Sweden not giving us any points! AFFRONTED! Not expecting any points from Easter European countries because of the gayness. Lol guy from Ukraine has some epic hair. He also looks kind of drugged. This point of night I have hiccups. Poor UK, performers suffer for the politics quite badly. Poor Estonia also, no points yet. Think it's because she sang in Estonian and no one except the Finns really got that. We should give them some points at least. Oh god Armenian guy, there is no need to sing. Yes Finland gave Estonia some points, excellent. So half-way through the voting and so far none of my favourites are doing particularly well, although I did enjoy Malta too.
Back to voting. Ooops a technical hitch. No more points for Finland. Come on Estonia.... Boo. Lol one point from Germany bless them. Oh cringe they got some points mixed up, can't watch... Oh cheers for points France. I don't get it about Denmark, it wasn't particularly spectacular, except for the drummer boys. Wow feedback on the audio much, fix it now.
Huh, they just skip rest of the voting once the winner has cleared. That's weird and disappointing, I wanted to see what... Oh wait, they take rest of the votes now. That's so strange. And anti-climatic. Frowns in confusion.
anyway, Denmark it is, to my complete bafflement.
Good show except really didn't like the anti-climatic the ending. Thought Finland would do better but apparently not, huh.
Post updated periodically!
***
It's an Eurovision caterpillar! Okay that's totally cute.Also it has a mohawk, which is even cuter. Awwwwww. It's going to turn into a Eurovision butterfly...
Hmm, as always I'm in two minds about Graham Norton's narration. He kind of annoys me more than he makes me laugh.
A bridge over sparkly waters?
A very attractive choir.
Ah here are the flags, it is a little like Olympics parade. Aww bless Finland made it though I'm not keen on her song although it might be the requisite pop candy recipe.
Okay this is clearly time to go get food...
...Food and cider achieved.
Wow that's a pink dress. She's very pretty though, and not in an artificial paid way either which is what you often get at these things. Thing about Nordic countries is that at least the English is good.
Lol dancing queens, so true.
Ah yes, butterfly in the flag colours.
01 France
France always sings in French. Defiantly. too bad I don't speak a word of it as I actually really like this song. It has a nice rhythm to it. And we have our first (fake?) leather outfit. Fringes baby, shake 'em. Or you know, rub your hand through them. The longer this song goes on the more excited the singer becomes.
02 Lithuania
Pretty boy from Lithuania. Huh, did he say 'I've got to tell him something'? Is this a gay love confession song? I'm going to choose to believe that because that is the only exciting thing about it. This guy can't really sing. But in my mind he's singing to his male best friend that he's in love with him... because of his shoes? Idk.
03 Moldova
Lol, from backing singer to the main act. WOHOOO PRETTY DANCER BOYS. It just isn't Eurovision without those. Not sure what they're doing; swans? sea gulls? Oh touching. Ahahah oh fuck me yes a singer on a rising podium with a massive dress. THAT'S WHAT I'M TALKING ABOUT.
04 Finland
Bless Finland, song with apparently hidden meaning about how it's a bloody time to legalise gay marriage in Finland. Which I agree with. Man this song doesn't do it for me at all though, it was played a lot in Finland in the radio and music channels. It's catchy Her outfit is cute though with a great amount of ruffles as befitting the occasion. I'm promised a girl-smoochies aaaand there it is, rather nice, although I get the uncomfortable feeling that it's more for titillation than for political statement. Still, apparently Turkey has chosen not to broadcast Eurovision because of that. Might do well for us though.
05 Spain
Spanish bagpipe... I did not know that was a Spanish thing. Canary yellow is a colour that just doesn't work on anyone. I'm bored by the song but her band boys are very pretty. And I'm now slashing up the two guitarists. Oh look it's a floating yellow... lamp? Oh more of them. She's running around with wobbly thighs which is kind of appealing.
06 Belgium
He does not look legal. Those ladies are going to snatch his cradle but good. Is this supposed to be some kind Bond-girl type of thing here? I'm far more interested in the dancers than him. Someone give him a boyband stat, he looks lonely. Song was boring. Hah 18 years old, thought he was youngggggg.
07 Estonia
Oh man it's always so funny listening to Estonian cos I can almost kind of understand it, catches my ear the right way but still leaves me a little puzzled. Closest language to Finnish. Could be that (or maybe the excessive smoke machine abuse) but I do rather like the song. And she's got a good set of lungs on her.
08 Belarus
A GLITTER BALL! PRETTY BOY DANCERS. SEQUINS. ACCENTED ENGLISH. CATCHY DANCE TUNE. FAAAAAAAAAAAVOURITE! She really can't move very well though, looks rather stiff in her attempt to shake her booty. However, this song is making me want to shake mine so instant win.
09 Malta
Hello hot Maltese doctor. How... does that though happen though? Like how does one wake up one morning and figure, 'nope, had enough of medicine now, let's try a career in music'? Still, this is a super cute song that wouldn't sound out of place on Top 40. I also really like the text graphics in the background.
10 Russia
A ballad from Russia. With big round lights. It's quite nice and very hummable. Has a message of unity and love and all that schtick. Nice, don't think it's a winner but quite nice. Okay, the hand-holding at the end was a step too far. Yawn.
11 Germany
Hmm bland dance pop from Germany. Ten seconds in and I'm bored. This better have some special effects or something. Nope. Blah.
12 Armenia
Armenian guy has the flowing locks and well groomed facial hair. Denim seems to be the theme here, there's more of it than at the 90s night at Margate Weatherspoons. Just saying. Also, not impressed with song which is disappointing as apparently it's from the pen of one Tony Iommi from Black Sabbath.
13 The Netherlands
It's been a while since we've seen The Netherlands at the final. For some reason the singer seems familiar.... Possibly it's just the name. Hmm... this is actually a quite interesting song, but really not a right choice for Eurovision. It sounds like it should be on her own album, targeted at city professionals with mid-life crises.
14 Romania
Hello Cesar. Graham Norton builds this up as pretty exciting... AhahahahaaaaaahAAAAAAHAHAHA IT'S THE DARK LORD OF TRANSYLVANIA. *weeps from joy* FUCK ME IT'S A GAY COUNTER-TENOR VAMPIRE LORD. WITH MOSTLY NUDE DANCER BOYS. OH ROMANIA YOU'RE GGETING MY VOTE ON THE THE AWESOME DIAMONTE ENCRUSTED CAPE THINGY ALONE. WHERE HAVE YOU BEEN ALL MY LIFE?
15 United Kingdom
Bless UK, they have trotted out an 80s icon. She certainly has the hair and husky voice to carry it off. Also, I kind of want her top. I'm sadly underwhelmed by the song. But one hopes this doest better than previous attempts.
16 Sweden
Aww a pretty boy for Sweden. He too feels like he's missing the rest of his boyband. I'm quite bored by this song as well. Blah.
17 Hungary
Aww hipster from Hungary. Complete with skinny jeans, large glasses and woolly hat. Adorable. For my own reasons I choose to believe that he's written this song to his pretty (and oddly bouncy) guitarist. the graphics are cute. Aww, I liked that.
18 Denmark
A flutist. And drummer boys. The flutist is very pretty and the singer looked about ready to eat him there, who can blame her. The song is pretty catchy, my head is nodding along. Is she bare-foot? Yeah she is! Kudos! I always thing that if I had to perform in high heels I would be flat on my face.
19 Iceland
My, my he's a Nordic hunk and a half. Has that blonde Viking thing going on, or, as that is now known: Nordic heavy rocker thing. Because walk around any city in the Nordic countries and you encounter this male type: long hair, into some version of metal, probably works in IT and is into fishing and motorcycles. Anyway, forgot about the song already but his voice was awesome.
20 Azerbaijan
Another pretty boy. It looks like he's wearing velvet vest and trousers.... Um, this isn't homoerotic at all... right? The guy in the box is like his subconscious (HIS GAY SUBCONSCIOUS, LET HIM FREE, LET HIM FLY) See, there's confetti and everything.
21 Greece
Best title ever 'Alcohol is free'.... Lol I'm entertained from the start. Harmonica! ALCOHOL, ALCOHOL IS FREE! I'm totally singing along to this. Also the old guy with the world's tiniest mandolin wins at everything ever. I have no idea what that gruff voiced singer/guitarist is suggesting but I'm game!
22 Ukraine
Well fuck me that is a big man. Hope they paid him well since they trotted him out like a circus freak just to carry her about. Anyway, i'm more interested in trying to see if the singer is wearing any underwear than listening to her song. Apparently she's like a butterfly. I like the forest background.
23 Italy
It's another pretty boy (they're starting to all blend together by now, could be the cider though) standing around in a suit. Okay ballad but that's about it. Seriously, this feels like the pee break song. Dashes to the loo.
24 Norway
Wow Norway, I feel blinded already. There's a sinister undertone to this song which I like but she's looking too soft for that, they should've worked that 'I will take you away into my lair and do things to you that you will learn to love and crave' angle more. Erm. Or maybe that's just me. Lalala.
25 Georgia
A quite nice duet. The couple looks refreshingly... normal. I like her dress. Eh, not much to say about this, doesn't light my fire in anyway.
26 Ireland
Thank fuck it's not Jedward. This is my first reaction. The second reaction has a lot to do with the hot drummer boys. The third is mostly about the singer's god awful glittery leather outfit. It's going to get ruined when all those baby oil from the drummers/dancers gets smeared all over it. The song is okay if rather clichéd. Could do very well though, being the last song.
***
Lol, okay the J-P Gaultier joke was pretty funny.
Voting is open... Romania's gay vampire lord remains my favourite. I also liked Greece, Estonia, Belarus, Hungary, and Iceland.
Last year's winner (does anyone remember these ever?) does a medley. Dressed in a lot of feathers. some kick ass overalls the ladies at the back are sporting. Is this a female empowerment song? Wait now it's people with Bedouin outfits. I'm confused. Wait now that is a seriously long cape. I'm not sure about the concept though.
Voting is closed, I didn't bother though so can't bitch.
And we're getting a Bonnier Tyler montage. Yawn.
Oh hello, a Swedish variety performance. Lol. Horny elks. Love the Nordic countries for ability to take piss of themselves, you seriously wouldn't see this from Azerbaijan. LOL RECYCLINGGGGGGGGGG SEE SEE THIS! Lol, Gender equality. AND SAME SEX MARRIAGE YAY. I really liked this smorgasbord!
Some random faffing about backstage etc. Abba cover. Guess it's compulsory being in the Sweden and everything. Not a bad cover though. Plust she has nice curves.
Lol and now for the politically skewed voting. Greece starts strong. Sweden not giving us any points! AFFRONTED! Not expecting any points from Easter European countries because of the gayness. Lol guy from Ukraine has some epic hair. He also looks kind of drugged. This point of night I have hiccups. Poor UK, performers suffer for the politics quite badly. Poor Estonia also, no points yet. Think it's because she sang in Estonian and no one except the Finns really got that. We should give them some points at least. Oh god Armenian guy, there is no need to sing. Yes Finland gave Estonia some points, excellent. So half-way through the voting and so far none of my favourites are doing particularly well, although I did enjoy Malta too.
Back to voting. Ooops a technical hitch. No more points for Finland. Come on Estonia.... Boo. Lol one point from Germany bless them. Oh cringe they got some points mixed up, can't watch... Oh cheers for points France. I don't get it about Denmark, it wasn't particularly spectacular, except for the drummer boys. Wow feedback on the audio much, fix it now.
Huh, they just skip rest of the voting once the winner has cleared. That's weird and disappointing, I wanted to see what... Oh wait, they take rest of the votes now. That's so strange. And anti-climatic. Frowns in confusion.
anyway, Denmark it is, to my complete bafflement.
Good show except really didn't like the anti-climatic the ending. Thought Finland would do better but apparently not, huh.
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no subject
on 2013-05-18 06:59 pm (UTC)Wheee - your blogging was awesome. :)
no subject
on 2013-05-18 09:10 pm (UTC)I have to go check out this f/f d/s vid now.
Glad you enjoyed it :)
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on 2013-05-18 09:16 pm (UTC)no subject
on 2013-05-18 09:18 pm (UTC)no subject
on 2013-05-18 09:24 pm (UTC)no subject
on 2013-05-18 10:45 pm (UTC)no subject
on 2013-05-18 10:49 pm (UTC)no subject
on 2013-05-18 09:10 pm (UTC)Belarus
Romania
Greece
Iceland
Hungary
Also liked France and The Netherlands - singers I'd go out and buy songs by but I don't think they'll do well. Possibly not Eurovision enough.
no subject
on 2013-05-18 09:17 pm (UTC)no subject
on 2013-05-18 09:23 pm (UTC)no subject
on 2013-05-18 09:22 pm (UTC)no subject
on 2013-05-18 09:35 pm (UTC)Romania is seriously awesome with the camp Transylvanian lord. Let the voting begin!
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on 2013-05-19 11:59 am (UTC)no subject
on 2013-05-19 12:43 pm (UTC)no subject
on 2013-05-20 09:17 pm (UTC)no subject
on 2013-05-21 06:27 pm (UTC)