Oh Bandom, I Do It Out Of Love

[kat_lair]

Yesterday we established that Patrick/Pete lends itself to a D/s dynamic so well it would be crime not to – how shall I put it? – explore that further.

Never let it be said that pushkin666 and I shy away from such pursuits.

Schmoopy Patrick/Pete D/s chat fic followed.

pushkin666 : hey, still finding the idea of patrick as pete's top very hot
kat_lair : yeah, it would be interesting to see how that developed
kat_lair : i am... having mental pictures right now
pushkin666 : yeah, so am i
pushkin666 : and i'm just thinking of patrick's very clever hands
pushkin666 : and how he would use them to take pete apart and then put him back together again.
kat_lair : i bet patrick can be very still and quiet, just commanding attention with a few well placed words
pushkin666 : and looks and i think pete really wouldn't know quite what had hit him.
kat_lair : that dynamic works so well, because Pete *is* very fidgety and restless and has a lot of issues
pushkin666 : and needs calming and taking down
kat_lair : yes
kat_lair : Patrick can make everything... still and safe
pushkin666 : sigh ...
kat_lair : i know... i'm totally getting warm fuzzies from those two
pushkin666 : i want to say "it's so cute"
pushkin666 : but that's quite worrying. and i think that patrick would have watched him for a while before making his move
kat_lair : cute, yet hot
kat_lair : oh absolutely
kat_lair : though i think for a long time it was pretty organic and platonic, like patrick could always calm pete down, even when they were young
kat_lair : and pete always came to patrick when he was upset
pushkin666 : and i would think that as patrick realised himself what his own 'dynamic' was, that it would kill him seeing pete like that. because yes he could calm him and be there for pete when pete was upset but it would only be for a short while at a time
kat_lair : yeah... and pete would go looking for sexual/romantic affection and attention from elsewhere and would always get hurt and then come back to patrick
kat_lair : and it would kill patrick to witness that
pushkin666 : i could definitely see pete being hurt by somebody and i wonder whether he'd possibly come to patrick, with bruising, but he not have actually enjoyed what happened to him, and patrick would be really mad
pushkin666 : not at pete
kat_lair : ooh i like that
pushkin666 : and he wouldn't know what to do. you can almost see pete experimenting with different things, things that might burn him with the wrong person
kat_lair : yeah, because his skin feels like it's crawling off, and he just wants everything to *stop* for a while
kat_lair : and it keeps escalating in the wrong way
kat_lair : until he's letting himself be hurt too much, too badly
kat_lair : and it's still not enough
pushkin666 : and i think he wouldn't tell patrick what he was doing, he’d be ashamed to because patrick just wouldn’t understand
kat_lair : why would he, when *pete* doesn't understand it himself
pushkin666 : exactly
kat_lair : he's disgusted with himself, and ashamed, and desperate
kat_lair : omg, this would fucking tie in with the whole atavin overdose thing
pushkin666 : oh yes, that would work so well. he wouldn't understand what was going on, why he was allowing these things to be done to him, and although they did help a little bit they would make him feel worse
pushkin666 : because of what he was doing, and i also think it would be very casual so there would be no real care afterwards, no helping him to come down properly
kat_lair : no, what he would find from the casual hookups would only the physical side and none of the psychological
pushkin666 : which would help for a while, but he wouldn't be sleeping properly
kat_lair : there would be no security or love in that
pushkin666 : would almost be stoned in the immediate aftermath but then look like hell
kat_lair : plus there would always be a risk of exposure
pushkin666 : feel like hell, and patrick would be getting more and more concerned
kat_lair : but remember that patrick is 5 years younger
kat_lair : he wouldn't know what to do with his instincts
pushkin666 : yeah
kat_lair : he knows he can't let pete go on as he is but he doesn't know how to stop him either
kat_lair : some days Patrick thinks about just putting his hands on pete and holding him still until he jsut *stops* and stays and doesn’t leave again wherever it is that he goes
pushkin666 : i don't think pete would be patrick's first though. i get the impression that patrick would actually sit down and try and work out just why he felt the way he did. not straight away of course because as you say the age
kat_lair : yeah... but no, he'd definitely be no virgin.
kat_lair : and these things have a way of making themselves know pretty quickly once you get to the actual sex
pushkin666 : true
pushkin666 : so do you think the overdose would be the thing that really makes patrick sit up
kat_lair : i think so, it would make sense
kat_lair : and he'd be feeling guilty for not seeing how bad it got and not doing something before
pushkin666 : and probably not even realising that Pete had the drugs, and if he had those on prescription ...
kat_lair : yeah
pushkin666 : and he doesn't really know what to do but is glad that pete's moved back in with his parents.
pushkin666 : and pete's there and looks awful, tired and pale and oh so very vulnerable
kat_lair : mmmmmm
pushkin666 : and all of patrick's protective instincts really start to make themselves known
kat_lair : and all Patrick knows for sure that he's not letting pete do this again. ever.
kat_lair : and he's a bit tentative around pete about everything except about that one thing
kat_lair : that if pete ever, *ever*, again feels like that, when things start getting bad, he will come to patrick
kat_lair : and pete is all "you don't know what the fuck you're talking about! you can't--"
kat_lair : and patrick says "maybe not, but it has to better than all of this. Whatever it is that you need, i can give"
kat_lair : and pete laughs, loud and ugly, because patrick hasn't got a fucking *clue* what he's asking for, what Pete needs, and if he did, he would be running in the opposite direction and pete would be without his best friend faster than you can say "sorry"
pushkin666 : and he tells patrick that he hasn't got a fucking clue, and patrick's sat on the bed before he realises quite what he's doing, and he reaches for pete and pulls him towards him, wrapping his arms around him. pete tries to push patrick away, to get out of the embrace but patrick won't let him, just pulls him closer until pete's head is resting on his chest, and he has his hand in pete's hair
kat_lair : and pete's so fucking scared
kat_lair : because this isn't- he doesn't understand. he wanted patrick to get angry, and it isn't working
kat_lair : so he tries to struggle
pushkin666 : trying to get out of patrick's arms and patrick pushes him down onto the bed, follows him down and covers pete with his own body. holds him there until he begins to calm, ignoring the swearing from pete. and pete doesn't understand what's happening, but he starts to relax
kat_lair : and patrick keeps talking throughout it, his voice low and steady. pete doesn't even hear the words, but he hears patrick and god, he fell for that voice years ago
pushkin666 : and patrick runs his hand through pete's hair, brushing the sweaty locks back from his face in a gentle gesture and pete starts to tremble because this, this is something that he's always wanted, to feel protected like this but it's his best friend and he doesn't know what to do.
kat_lair : and he's shaking so bad now, and god it's so embarrassing but he can't help it. but patrick just holds on tighter, doesn't let him go, and gradually Pete's struggle to get away transforms into clinging to patrick for all he's worth.
kat_lair : the fall asleep like that. patrick wrapped around pete.
kat_lair : it's the first time in months pete has slept the whole night through without medication
pushkin666 : and patrick wakes during the night and watches over him while he carefully strokes pete's hair, making sure he doesn't wake him
pushkin666 : and patrick feels as though finally this is right, this is where they should both be
kat_lair : and he makes a decision that night, to fight for this. to fight for pete and them, even if it is pete that he needs to fight.
pushkin666 : oh sweet
kat_lair : HAHA YOU JUST TOTALLY WROTE BANDSLASH WITH ME
pushkin666 : I REALLY REALLY HATE YOU.
kat_lair : AHAHAHA
pushkin666 : AND IT WAS SCHMOOPY
kat_lair : YOU FUCKING ADORE ME
pushkin666 : THAT'S NOT WHAT I'M THINKING RIGHT NOW :D
pushkin666 : i'm trying to decide whether pete would be a little bitch in the morning or not
kat_lair : not that you're thinking about the fic or anything
kat_lair : :p
pushkin666 : oh shush ;)
kat_lair : i think he would be very subdued and wary, waiting for another shoe to drop. but patrick would act just normal, all joking and easy affection, not making a big deal about pete breaking down
pushkin666 : but also not really letting pete retreat back into himself. but he'd make sure that pete got up and showered, out of the bedroom and into some light. and he'd be ruffling his hair, touching him a little bit more than normal but not enough to make pete back off. in fact he'd like the touches, but then he's always liked it when patrick touched him.
kat_lair : yeah exactly. patrick would keep the momentum going so to speak. and he would spend time with pete and when he couldn't be there he'd call or text or email
pushkin666 : letting pete know that he was there
kat_lair : yeah
kat_lair : *draws pink glittery hearts*
pushkin666 : sigh

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