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kat_lair***
Title: lesser birds on the four winds
Author:kat_lair,
Fandom: Panic! at the Disco, Bandom
Character: Brendon Urie (gen or OT4 depending on your goggles)
Tags: Ficlet, Memories, post-disbandment, Melancholy, Introspection
Rating: G
Word count: 267
Summary: Brendon. After everything.
Author notes: Title from and written as a response to a lyric prompt from Astronomy by Blue Oyster Club:
“Like lesser birds on the four winds, yeah
Like silver scrapes in May
Now sands become a crust
And most of you have gone away.”
lesser birds on the four winds on AO3
In the end, there is this.
Never having to worry about money again. About putting fuel in his car, food on his table, clothes on his back. It’s something. It’s a lot.
Knowing that everyone who said he wouldn’t make it was wrong, because he did. He made it.
Boxes of unused guitar picks. Boxes of used ones, worn thin or cracked, like broken gemstones lying under drumsticks, dozens and dozens of them.
Awards. Discs in glass containers named after precious metals, silent and unplayable.
Millions of words, written in magazine articles, online blogs, bathroom stalls, text messages, scraps of paper stuffed into already full notebooks, tucked into pockets of clothes he no longer wears but won’t throw away. Some of the words are his but most are just about him. There’s a difference. Brendon learned that too late.
Names and contact numbers he transfers from one phone to the next, has backed up in five different locations, even though he doesn’t know if they even work anymore. He hasn’t checked. Not knowing for certain means there’s a possibility that they do, a possibility that if he were to call, it would be answered.
In the end, there is music. Still. Always. Despite and forever, the only divine power he believes in. Songs and songs and melodies and songs and harmonies and his voice melding with the others’, weaving between the instruments like magic, like a spell to banish regret, to undo mistakes.
It doesn’t work. Of course it doesn’t, not like that.
But it is something Brendon still has. Even in the end, after everything. Everyone.
***
Title: lesser birds on the four winds
Author:
kat_lair, Fandom: Panic! at the Disco, Bandom
Character: Brendon Urie (gen or OT4 depending on your goggles)
Tags: Ficlet, Memories, post-disbandment, Melancholy, Introspection
Rating: G
Word count: 267
Summary: Brendon. After everything.
Author notes: Title from and written as a response to a lyric prompt from Astronomy by Blue Oyster Club:
“Like lesser birds on the four winds, yeah
Like silver scrapes in May
Now sands become a crust
And most of you have gone away.”
lesser birds on the four winds on AO3
In the end, there is this.
Never having to worry about money again. About putting fuel in his car, food on his table, clothes on his back. It’s something. It’s a lot.
Knowing that everyone who said he wouldn’t make it was wrong, because he did. He made it.
Boxes of unused guitar picks. Boxes of used ones, worn thin or cracked, like broken gemstones lying under drumsticks, dozens and dozens of them.
Awards. Discs in glass containers named after precious metals, silent and unplayable.
Millions of words, written in magazine articles, online blogs, bathroom stalls, text messages, scraps of paper stuffed into already full notebooks, tucked into pockets of clothes he no longer wears but won’t throw away. Some of the words are his but most are just about him. There’s a difference. Brendon learned that too late.
Names and contact numbers he transfers from one phone to the next, has backed up in five different locations, even though he doesn’t know if they even work anymore. He hasn’t checked. Not knowing for certain means there’s a possibility that they do, a possibility that if he were to call, it would be answered.
In the end, there is music. Still. Always. Despite and forever, the only divine power he believes in. Songs and songs and melodies and songs and harmonies and his voice melding with the others’, weaving between the instruments like magic, like a spell to banish regret, to undo mistakes.
It doesn’t work. Of course it doesn’t, not like that.
But it is something Brendon still has. Even in the end, after everything. Everyone.
***
no subject
on 2024-09-22 09:11 pm (UTC)I love this fic and when I first read it, it made me think of something dystopian. Not sure if that's just my brain or whether this was the intention but this is how I see it. It is wonderful though hun, so very angsty and telling in such a few words.
no subject
on 2024-09-23 06:10 pm (UTC)no subject
on 2024-09-24 08:33 pm (UTC)Is disbandment an actual word? Oh well it is now - suitably apt for Panic
no subject
on 2024-09-23 02:45 pm (UTC)Ouch! But a good ouch as I really enjoyed reading this.
I have to agree, it is telling in so few words.
I do love a good Panic fic, so thank you for sharing.
no subject
on 2024-09-23 06:09 pm (UTC)