On Brexit

[kat_lair]

***

Well, I woke up this morning to news that made me feel decidedly unwanted in this country. A novel experience. Yes, everyone is saying that the impact on UK's existing 2.9 million EU citizens like myself will be minimal but... But. A few scattered thoughts/experiences from today.

• This will impact on my long-term plans in terms of career, where to live etc. I don't know how yet, but there's suddenly a BIG consideration with a lot of uncertainty (finances? pension? social security?) where there wasn't.

• pushkin666 texts to say that at least I'm the sort of person they'll want (read: white, highly educated) which is true enough. I reply that it's more the case that I'm not sure Britain will be the sort of country I want to be in.

• Because of the right-wing chest bashing this has caused widely, I'm also not sure WHERE such a country exists any more. In Finland the 'True Finns' are already baying for another referendum. A colleague points out the unholy triumvirate of Trump, Putin, and whoever will replace Cameron (Boris Johnson? I'll take him over Farage) and we all laugh, and we're all scared.

• So many 'oh you're not deported yet' jokes today. So many. Colleague M practically hugs me. I ask her 'who will protect you from your government now?' and she tells me to shut up before she cries.

• Another collegue says he woke up to his wife crying over the results, explaining how she is a huge Star Trek fan and believes humanity's future is in co-operation and unity, how everything seems to be going in opposite direction.

• Vice-chancellor posts a public notice of 'reassurance' to EU staff and students. Everything continues as is, he says. For now. I am not that reassured.

I am instead tired and sad. Tomorrow is London Pride and I'll be marching on the parade with colleagues and students from my university. There's unity there at least.

A proper update post soon, I promise. Today has just been... Well. It's been a day to note I guess.


***

Comments

[deinonychus-1.livejournal.com]

*hugs*

I honestly thought that common sense would win out over the baying mob. I am not proud to be British today. :-(

Enjoy the Pride march, at least!

[kat-lair.livejournal.com]

*clings a little*

Yeah, I thought so too. Most heart breaking are the people who are now regretting voting leave and there seem to be a lot of them.

Just on the way to Pride, will be busy and hot and I already feel for my feet (it's not the walk, it's the standing around...) but worth it.

[wpadmirer.livejournal.com]

I am so sorry. I am seeing so many of my UK friends posting about this today, and it is heartbreaking.

[kat-lair.livejournal.com]

It's like half the nation is grieving and the other half is a mixture of celebration and slowly dawning regret. Just unbelievable.

[moth2fic.livejournal.com]

Devastated. Grieving for my country. Grieving for the 'poor' who have been misinformed by malicious politicians and media. Sad for Europe because I once thought we could make a difference. On a personal note, a lot poorer, with immediate effect. Crying. Unable to post.

*hugs you tight and hopes you'll stay, for now*

[kat-lair.livejournal.com]

*clings* I'm seeing posts about people who are regretting their leave note now and it is heart breaking. And I am so genuinely worried about the future of the country and the people in it, myself included. Finances yes (I hear you on the poorer note, grateful that I'd already transferred last of my student loan payments to Finland and so annoyed because this really impacts on my plans to keep putting money aside to my Finnish account) but things like human rights, government oversight, environment... And like you I'm angry on behalf of people who believed the promises like more funds to nhs and are already seeing pledges withdrawn. Many hugs and lots of wine to you. I'm not going anywhere for the moment. In fact, in Manchester next weekend if you want to come over to Tria's on Sat maybe?

[moth2fic.livejournal.com]

*more clinging*

Don't think I can make next weekend but will let you know if things change. Stay strong!

[kat-lair.livejournal.com]

*massive group hug*

Okies, no worries. I'm sure I'll see you soonish one way or the other.

[complexlight.livejournal.com]

I hate that you feel unwelcome - and I absolutely understand why you do.

I am not proud of being British today.

Take care, and know that at least some of us want you here. CL xx

[kat-lair.livejournal.com]

I don't feel unwelcome by people I know, never that. In fact, colleague M suggested starting a 'we want Kat to stay' campaign. It's more of a general feeling, the reports of xenophobic and racist incidents. I'm white so I blend in until I open my mouth but just hearing the stories is heart breaking.

And your sentiment of not being proud to be British, I've seen that echoed a lot :(

[margaret-r.livejournal.com]

I don't know what to say:( You've given so much to Britain and it's been your home for so long, to now feel insecure and unwanted there is devastating. I was stunned by the result and my heart breaks for Britain - a beautiful wonderful country that I'm really scared for now.

*Hugs, lots of them* Stay strong and take the unity and love you'll find in the Pride march close to you.

[kat-lair.livejournal.com]

Hugs are gratefully accepted. The atmosphere in the whole country seems sullied by this somehow, and the reports of the increase in racist incidents are really awful. The future of the country seems much bleaker, somehow the future of humanity as a whole does as well. I'm trying to focus on the hope that this will see a resurgence of positive grassroot activism and resistance.

[avictoriangirl]

I'm so very sorry. :( *hugs*

[kat-lair.livejournal.com]

Thank you. I'm still feeling a little shock about it.

[hab318princess.livejournal.com]

I understand how you feel... for the first time in 25 years I am considering that moving (back) to Germany is an option to enable my son (13) to work within the union - he dreams of working for the European Space Agency in Cologne.

So yeah, all changed and my UK colleagues in the NHS don't seem to understand the seriousness of the consequences

[kat-lair.livejournal.com]

Yes, that is an understandable worry and consideration now. I think your son is not the only young person in Britain who feels shafted by the voted. On the surface everything seems the same and one tries to cling to that normalcy, but underneath there is this hideous uncertainty looming..

[milly-gal.livejournal.com]

I genuinely thought common sense would win out on this one, I stand well and truly horrified and corrected! *hugs* 48% of us are not bigoted arseholes, just so you know! Stupid fucking hand wringing douchewads. *ahem* Sorry but the result just smacks of a protest vote that blew up in all our faces. Think before you vote next time people. And the people who did make the effort to come out and vote on this, I bet they haven't voted on anything else for the last ten years and won't again.

[kat-lair.livejournal.com]

At the moment it seems that if there's a idiotic choice to be made, people will jump at it. The voting rate was encouraging but there seems to be sense that some people thought putting a cross in the box was some kind of personal 'sticking a finger to the man' and are somehow shocked that it all actually mattered in much larger scale than that.

And I know most people aren't bigoted arseholes, probably not even some who voted to leave... They were just looking for a simple solution to the various problems without realising that there would be no such thing. *hugs back*

[milly-gal.livejournal.com]

*sighs* everything you just said, yes, and it's pitiful and very sad. People did indeed think they were making a protest but actually what they've done is completely fuck it up!

[hugemind.livejournal.com]

*hugs* I'm sorry that the general atmosphere there has turned ugly and that so people were mislead into voting Leave. It seems like people have been starting to educate themselves only after the vote and at least some are coming to regret supporting the Brexit.

[kat-lair.livejournal.com]

You're right in that there seems to be a lot of exclamations of 'I didn't know!' which fills me with despair and frustration. On the surface everything seems normal for now and my mind keeps circling the potential long-term consequences like a skater on thin ice...

[dreamersdare.livejournal.com]

Not my country. I am either in a huge minority here or, more likely given the huge outpourings on social media, part of an unrepresented and disenfranchised faction who have no voice and no influence in the public sphere. I have never been more ashamed of my nationality and never felt more unwelcome in the country of my birth.

Most appealing option at this point is actually to say fuck it, invade some uninhabited island, set up self-sustaining homestead, declare independence and stick two middle fingers up at the rest of the world.

(You know it's bad when I feel like I need a hug...)

[kat-lair.livejournal.com]

(You needing a hug feels like it's the bloody apocalypse. Oh wait... *clings*)

It's heart-breaking to see so many British people declare themselves ashamed of their nationality. It's like I was a victim of mugging but for you guys this is like family violence :(

I would be up for your plan except we're better off with a mountain somewhere. Climate change (unlikely to be slowed down by the recent events...) will soon mean islands lose their idyllic appeal...

Fuck this noise, seriously.

[dreamersdare.livejournal.com]

(If the cap fits...)

Yeah, pretty much. Literally in some cases (there are certain people with whom I share a name who I am avoiding talking to about this, because if they voted the way I suspect they did, it will break my fucking heart).

You are aware that what you are proposing is a secret island mountain base? Which is only one small step away from a secret island volcano base. Which would mean I can be Grue (I am feeling very Grue at the moment. I wish to have minions. And also a freeze ray)

[spikedluv]

I'm in disbelief about this. I'm sorry that it's affecting you and so many others in a negative way.

and we all laugh, and we're all scared.

This. When Trump first threw his hat into the race I laughed. I thought his brand of crazy would make the other crazy right-wing nut jobs look normal in comparison. And then his popularity grew, and grew, and now he's the Republican nominee for president? How the hell can something like that happen? So, yeah. I've got my 'we'll keep America sane' face on, but inside? I'm scared.

[kat-lair.livejournal.com]

Thank you, really. It's been a comfort to see all the comments in this post, even when it's people who are equally or more affected for various reasons.

Yeah, you weren't the only one. Like, 'haha everyone knows Trump is a nutter rich guy, no one will take him seriously, he's so old already as well...' and then, oh shit, wtf? I just, I don't know what is scarier; that he's gotten this far on his own or that he's a puppet for people far cleverer than him. I wonder if in a few centuries, the history books will mark 2016 as the year the world finally lost it and took one step after another toward the cliff edge and over.

[apiphile.livejournal.com]

I'm sorry I missed you at Pride (we were by Queers Against Brexit). I wanted to say hello. And possibly avoid talking about all of the above, somehow.

[kat-lair.livejournal.com]

I tried to keep an eye out for you as well but clearly missed you and an opportunity for a fly-by hug :( Hugs seem way better than talking anyways at the moment...

[apiphile.livejournal.com]

God, don't they just :( If you decide to shit Europe entirely, btw, I think Canada are definitely looking for new citizens and IF YOU HAPPEN TO NEED A HOUSEHUSBAND/CAT SITTER IN THE GLORIOUS NEW WORLD I AM AVAILABLE FOR THESE DUTIES. I *can* cook!

[kat-lair.livejournal.com]

God damn, I could totally do with a househusband/cook/cat sitter in gold hot pants :D Sadly, deepest Kent coast is not the glorious new world to do it in...

[apiphile.livejournal.com]

Hah, I meant more if Canada opens its arms to a Very Qualified Finn ;) Then again the whole world seems to have gone batshit of late (DID YOU SEE ABOUT AUSTRIA) so perhaps we should activate Moonbase Colony.

[kat-lair.livejournal.com]

Hehe yeah, I got that. Only, the closest I'll get to Canada is New Orleans in November and only for five days. Yes, I saw about Austria, Moonbase Colony seems increasingly attractive indeed...

[apiphile.livejournal.com]

I am just going to imagine your cats in little cat spacesuits to get me through the last night of my shift.

[thinkpink20.livejournal.com]

*hugs* Can I just say that I'm glad you've brought your creativity, talent and general loveliness to our often shambolic and rainy little island?

I have felt at turns horrified, terrified and depressed this week. There aren't really any words. /o\

[kat-lair.livejournal.com]

*hugs back* Oh sweetie, that is such a lovely thing to say, thank you so much. And it does help, amidst all the news of xenophobic abuse people are dealing with.

[morningapproach.livejournal.com]

I feel the same way as your friend's wife - but I feel like things have to get worse before the world wakes up and says "wtf?" As sad as it is, it feels like something that humanity needs to learn before we can start to come back from it.

[kat-lair.livejournal.com]

Sadly you are probably worse, but every time something happens I keep thinking 'surely this is it?' but no, not yet...

[mf_luder_xf]

The Brexit vote is rough. I feel for the British people who wanted to stay and the Europeans who may be affected by this whether immediate or a few years down the road. David Cameron, I can't.

[kat-lair.livejournal.com]

It is yeah, the country feels very divided and the election was riddled with outright lies and appalling behaviour. People who think they were 'sticking it to the man' have only ended up giving more power to these knobheads.

[mf_luder_xf]

I also love (both sincerely and sarcastically) how *everyone* is now jumping ship. The assholes who brought this Brexit vote to pass are all now "lol peace out!" while they probably go to purchase a house in the French Riviera or something. Like, shit, I don't think I've seen US politicians backpedal that fast.