oh hey thanks for commenting, I'm glad you enjoyed the story. Also, extra special thanks for concrit, for pointing out a thing you *didn't* like as well as the bits you did. Playtime was over. was a phrase that stuck in my head pretty independently of the story and I wanted to use it. In retrospect, I can see how it would stick out - thanks for the fresh eyes :-)
I'm relieved you liked the softer, more controlled Ray - it was much, much harder to write than the jealous, seething Ray in the beginning and I felt (and still do) that he's a bit too ooc there but... if it worked for you, I'm glad!
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ninetydegrees
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on 2006-05-12 02:02 pm (UTC)I'm relieved you liked the softer, more controlled Ray - it was much, much harder to write than the jealous, seething Ray in the beginning and I felt (and still do) that he's a bit too ooc there but... if it worked for you, I'm glad!