Wow, I'm glad I read this. Its not something I would usually read, not while the show is still all new and shiny and I don't want to let it get too out there in my head. But I thought you did it really well. I thought the characterisation great and the idea of Sam's name as a kind of safeword inspired.
Only one line jarred a bit in my head, that was Playtime was over. It just seemed totally out of wack with the rest of it, a bit silly.
Ray took a step back, giving Chris plenty of room to unlock the door. Or to run away.
“You say his name and this stops. Is that clear? You know who I mean, don’t you Chris?”
The younger man just blinked at him, boneless like a rag doll, letting himself be moulded and arranged. Ray liked that. Liked it enough to kiss him, softer than before, taking his time.
Chris was nodding off and Ray had to hold him upright against the wall tiles to keep him from collapsing.
These bits that worked really well for me. I really liked the idea of Ray being a bit softer a bit more controlled and caring afterwards, that worked well for me.
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ninetydegrees
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on 2006-05-12 01:38 pm (UTC)Only one line jarred a bit in my head, that was Playtime was over.
It just seemed totally out of wack with the rest of it, a bit silly.
Ray took a step back, giving Chris plenty of room to unlock the door. Or to run away.
“You say his name and this stops. Is that clear? You know who I mean, don’t you Chris?”
The younger man just blinked at him, boneless like a rag doll, letting himself be moulded and arranged. Ray liked that. Liked it enough to kiss him, softer than before, taking his time.
Chris was nodding off and Ray had to hold him upright against the wall tiles to keep him from collapsing.
These bits that worked really well for me. I really liked the idea of Ray being a bit softer a bit more controlled and caring afterwards, that worked well for me.