kat_lair | Robin Hood 2.12 – A Good Day To Die and 2.13

It’s been a difficult time, people; being unable either to watch the finale when it aired or download it until now. But I was good, staying away from reaction posts and spoilers no matter how many exclamation marks the lj-cut text had or how badly I was twitching to find out OMGWHATHAPPENED?

And now that the episodes are finally sitting on my laptop, all ready to go, I find myself almost scared to watch it, a thousand what if? scenarios playing in my head. Perhaps ignorance is bliss?

Perhaps I should just suck it up and trust my f-list’s promises of emotional support? So here you are, all you who are waiting for my reaction with sadistic glee; a really, really ridiculously long reaction post to the Season 2 Finale of Robin Hood.

OH MUCH ILU! Surprise birthday ~~pig~~ party! Robin’s face of glee, because of course Much remembered and arranged for something!

But OMG it’s a trap! When Robin says Oh Much so do thousands of fangirls around the globe. Also, how much do I love it that the writer’s put that in? More than words can express.

But seriously, what is this rag-tag mercenary army with at least 349 different nationalities, time-periods and possibly species represented in their ranks? It reminds me of the History In Action festival I attended in the summer of -98. There was an incident with some cows and if memory serves I spent the night roasting a pig’s head with some American Civil War soldiers and crashed in a tent with a very grabby Roman Centurion… Good times.

Aaaaaaaaaanyway!

Aww, Much is sorry! And indignant! And apparently having a nervous breakdown?

AHAHAHAA, an exploding pig’s head! Awesome!

Ah! Continuation FTW! Djaq’s secreted lightning powder comes in handy. I liked her matter-of-fact “I disobeyed you.”

Will detects a fatal flaw in the tale of Sparta.

Um… Why does Guy know Robin’s birthday? But Marian obviously doesn’t?

Anyway, I like how normal Marian and Guy’s interaction sounds, like their talking on the same wavelength for once. And I really like Guy all serious and demanding.

Are we gonna kill ‘em? Yeah! Are we gonna like it? Yeah! *wipes tears of laughter*

O hai thar Allan, looking good. And once again getting referred to as Guy’s boy. Allan himself elaborates and tells Marian he’s “just the whipping boy around here, the packing boy”. Seriously. It’s like the writers want as to write kinky bdsm fic.

Oh Allan… your cynicism is hurtful.

Sheriff: Nice. Nasty. Both?
Hehehehe

Oh Much! I find it difficult to follow your plan of distraction and self-sacrifice when you keep stripping as you explain it.

I… have to confess I really wanted to see him used as a hostage to draw Robin out. *is heartless*

I really like the interaction between Allan and Marian. And thanks for the completely unnecessary reminder of what happens if the Sheriff dies writers. Hi, let me introduce myself: I’m a viewer with a memory span longer than goldfish’s. Nice to meet you

Ha! I may have let out a little wohoo when Marian punches Allan. And then another, more lecherous one when she strips him of his belt. Though Allan is right and Marian’s idea sucks.

Um, why is Guy just randomly shouting for Allan? Is it because he has a break from trip preparations and wants a quickie?

Love Sheriff practicing his speeches. Aaaand predictably Marian gets caught.

Oh Marian, why did you do it? Now you gone and broken your beautiful threesome with Guy and Allan. *weeps*

GUY STFU! Whyyyyyyyyy? There was no need to tell that, you moron!

I think the Sheriff is more outraged about the fact that Guy kept secrets from him that about Marian being the Nightwatchman in the first place.

Oh-ho, Guy will see to it that Allan’s loyalty is rewarded… Mind. Gutter. No but really, the way he’s looking at Allan when he says it… nnggghhh.

Aw, dissent in the ranks. Oh Much…

Robin: In fact, I think we need to relax. Don’t know why I didn’t think of this before. It’s my birthday!
Me: *OUTLAWRGY!!!!!! \o/
*TM razorxrosary

Marian: So it’s true. You tried to kill the king.
Guy: What? Feel betrayed?
Ooooh, the bitterness. It’s so delicious.

John brings the Klingon quotes again.

Ahahaha, Djaq tells them it’s time play Truth or Dare. Can anyone tell me if the tradition she’s talking about (I’m not even going to attempt to spell it) is an actual custom or if she just made that up so she’d get the boys to talk about their feelings? Because I wouldn’t put that past her.

Is it me or did that trip from Nottingham to Portsmouth go really quickly? On horse-and-carriage?

Guy: Allan!
Allan: Coming!
Me: Me too!

Oh Djaq. Oh Djaq! Oh, oh, oh… Oh Will! I can’t even. Oh my babies! WILL’S SMIIIIIIIILE. Their little faaaaaaaces! *explodes from the cuteness* I watched this scene with hands over my mouth (literally) and squeaked. D’aaaawwwwwwww x infinity! And when Will says: “And the way you will always, always be a woman.” I made a noise akin to hhhhnnnggghhhhtakemenow! and melted into a puddle of oestrogen. No lie.

Oh Guy, Guy, Guy, Guy. Seriously, every scene between him and Allan makes me want to just plant myself between them and sort of roll around in the sexual tension. Preferrably naked.

The Sheriff slashes them too! “Kissing in the moonlight?” Aahahahahaaa!!!

Aw John. Loving even Much. And breaking down… I love how Will holds him.

Why isn’t Allan in Guy’s bed? Does not compute.

I wasn’t the only one who shook their head at Much’s “I’m not in love with anyone” right?

And then…. OMG FUCKING FINALLY!!!! Much says what we’ve been saying since the first episode: Robin takes him for granted and he bloody well shouldn’t! YES! *fist-pump* You guys! I did an actual victory dance complete with a little twirl and an outrageous boob-shimmy at this. YOU TELL IT MUCH! YOU TELL IT LIKE IT IS!

You think I talk too much. Oh I know that’s what you think. Much talks too much and eats too much and worries too much. Well it’s easy for you to say because if I don’t do it then who does? It’s alright for you because you can just breeze through life and be everyone’s hero and not have to worry about the simple things like the fire or the food or the hole in your cape or your birthday! Because good old, dependable old Much will take care of all that. Well I tell you something. You take me for granted! You’re sniggering at me… You shouldn’t!

But then… Then… It’s not any kind of vindication or victory or anything but raw and heart-breaking and hurtful because

I’m angry! And just because I love you doesn’t mean I can’t hate you too. And I hate you. Because in the Holy Land there was two of us and we were a team and the things we went through and the horrors we saw… Went through them together! And when we came home we were like brothers. Brothers-in-arms. And where is that now, eh? It’s gone, that’s where. We never talk, we just don’t. You make me a free man and we’re meant to be equals. We’re not equals. The only thing’s that changed around here is that you still treat me like a servant, you don’t treat me like a friend.

And I’m crying. I’m crying, helplessly and without shame and oh my god, oh my god Much. *clings to fellow fangirls*

Sam Troughton owns my heart, he owns it and hurts it and I don’t even mind.

And Jesus, Robin is still protesting that it’s not true. But for once, for fucking once, the others side with Much, because what he’s saying is the truth and when the realisation and shame hit Robin’s eyes I feel nothing but vicious schadenfreude because he should feel bad, he should feel awful, he should feel like the lowest scum of the earth. I’ve said it before and I say it again. Robin is good and heroic and noble but he’s also fundamentally selfish and generally unable and unwilling to see past the big picture. It’s like the reverse of that saying about not seeing the woods for the trees. Well Robin sees the whole sprawling forest, is fucking destined to save it, but he’s not overtly concerned about cutting down a few trees to do so.

*deep calming breaths*

Okay, okay, I’m moving away from that allegory now before it gets too out of hand.

Right, right where were we?

Oh yes! Allan! Doing The Right Thing. \o/ (also, Whispering Sexily In The Dark)

The outlaws are making suicide plans. Djaq and Will plan to die together no matter what. Much’s face when he looks at Robin with This is it breaks my heart all over again. Oh Show, what are you doing to me?

Still, I can’t quite get over the fact that even though Much was in the right and Robin was in the wrong, oh so very wrong, it’s Much who’s apologising…

Ah, Thank You John for making Robin talk.

I love how Will refers to Much to confirm that what Robin says about being engaged to Marian is true.

And OMG. Genuine words and genuine feelings from Robin to Much. I almost died from shock.

Robin: And Much, I have betrayed your friendships, but I think you know why. you se I can’t face the terrors we saw, I can’t. Because I’m not as strong as you. I have to put them out of my mind because if I don’t… then I wouldn’t be able to lead. I mean I wouldn’t even be able to…
Much: What?
Robin: It doesn’t—
John: Be able to shoot.
Much: ‘cos you can shoot…
Robin: No. no, John’s right. In the Holy Land, the men we saw, in bits. Screaming. Every time I raise my bow I see them, I hear them. And I know now, whether it was right or wrong, what we did in the Holy Land it makes no difference. So I have to try not to kill. I have to avoid killing. God gave me a gift with a bow. I mean, I can kill with my eyes closed, I can kill a man from a thousand yards and I have to try everything in my power not to. And that’s why I wasn’t there for you in your hour of need my friend. Because I have to let those memories go, I just have to be free.
Much: Why didn’t you say?
Robin: It doesn’t matter now. in a few moments we’ll be free forever.

AND THEN THERE WAS HUGGING AND I WAS CRYING AGAIN OMFG SNOT EVERYWHERE *wails*

Guy is dreaming… and looking ever so molestable (stfu it so is a word) in his sleep. Okay, so it’s Marian he imagines giving him a backrub and telling him how she should have let him look after him and I’m like nodding along because yes this is expectable material from the writers but OMG then it shifts and it’s Allan rubbing Guy’s shoulders (still in his dream scenario) saying “I’m your boy, I’m nothing without you, I should’ve let you look after me” and then, then it’s the Sheriff except it’s not a dream any longer, he’s really waking Guy up with “Guy don’t be too disappointed. Your boy Allan, he doesn’t love you any more, he’s run away.” And he’s not letting Guy up but presses him down into the bed telling him that “We don’t need him, it’s better this way, just us.” AND HOLY JESUS PEOPLE DID THEY REALLY DO THAT OR DID I HAVE SOME VERY HOMOEROTIC HALLUCINATIONS AGAIN??? (what? Like you don’t.)

Ride, Allan! Ride like the wind!

OMG DJAQ/WILL KISS!!! I can get behind this het pairing no problem, compared to Robin and Marian they are 4903492 times sweeter and more compatible.

But oh noes! Here’s Allan! He deserves to be included in that too!!! And he lies so prettily.

Oh Robin and Much! See you in heaven

Allan’s face when he’s walking toward the barn and his former friends… Okay, okay, Robin believes him, thank fuck!

FIGHT SCENE OMG EXCITEMENT (why is Robin sporting a tiny little dagger?) Yay for Allan back where he belongs! (although I do feel sorry for Guy)

LOOK AT MUCH AND HIS SEXY SWORD SKILLZ! ALLAN! DJAQ’S SCREAM OF RAGE!

Will: She’s with me! *impales a mercenary*

ALLAN IS BACK!!!

To Portsmouth!

End of part 1! *takes a break to learn how to breathe again*

***

Aaaand we’re in Holy Land!

Saracens! Nefarious conspiracies! Sheriff eyeing the supposed assassin like a piece of meat.

Wohoo! Have no fear, the outlaws are here! (incidentally, someone tell me there are at least 803284 fics about their sea-voyage in the works. I needs them, precious! Months in a same ship! Time for Robin and Much to, erm, re-establish their close friendship. Time for Djaq and Will to draw Allan into their loving arms. Time for John to be violently sea-sick and write long letters to his son and Alice. WHERE IS THIS FIC???)

Is Guy playing Marian? Still, he’s not too pleased about the lecherous Sheriff gives him…

Oh Allan! *squishes him forever* He’s just so happy to be back with the others…

Oh Much! I love that you are trying to have a meaningful conversation with Robin about being back in the Holy Land… Ahahaha, and of course this takes place just above Marian’s prison cell window! Of course!

O SHIT! Everyone except Robin and Much have been caught by Saracens! Choreographed fighting ftw!

I find the brief Arabic exchanges lovely though of course we’re switching to English quickly – after all it would be a horrible torture to subject the viewer to subtitles </sarcasm>

Oh Will and Djaq and their beautiful pigeon metaphor love

Robin, I may like you a little again. Not only have you sort of apologised to Much (I still think it was very sort of and the words I’m sorry were never actually said out loud) but you paid attention on the culture sensitivity class.

Ooooh sneaky servant girl spy!

Ahahaha! Sheriff’s gleeful fist-bite! LULZ!

“The Crusader’s Frontier” – WHAT DOES THAT EVEN MEAN? Do your history homework writers!

Wow the Crusaders look so evil (and KKK-like) in their white outfits.

“Yeah? And I’m the King of England.”
O HAI THAR CARTER, LET ME SMEX YOU UP!

Okay, the fact that I admire Aristotle and I prefer Plato were the passwords between Richard and Saladdin fills me GLEE.

But I am having trouble concentrating on the political plot when Carter is right there, looking ready to be debauched.

Ooooh, I like that Robin’s name wasn’t mentioned directly…

Um. Carter/Richard? TELL ME I’M NOT ALONE IN THIS.

The scene between Guy and Sheriff SO TENSE OMG! O_O I really wasn’t sure which way it was going to go… Guy! Noooooooooo! I can’t believe he’s irredeemable, even now.

Aw, Djaq and Will, walking hand-in-hand. Though, by god I want Allan to be part of that so badly…

Aw, Bassan’s giving Djaq and Will his blessing… THIS IS GOING TOO WELL, I’M SCARED SOMETHING BAD WILL HAPPEN.

Aaaaaw Much, not knowing what the Latin means… *feeds him pie*

CARTER! He comes running straight into Robin’s arms! And then moves on to shake Much’s hand, who is the only other person he acknowledge with more than a nod. razorxrosary, finish the damn Robin/Carter/Much porn BECAUSE I NEED IT LIKE BURNING.

Richard: Robin, of all the men that have served me, I loved you the most.
Robin: And I have cherished that.
ROBIN/RICHARD BRING IT!

GASP!!! KEEP YOU DIRTY HANDS OFF MUCH!

Oh Much…

Um, is it wrong that I find the sight of all the outlaws strung up in the desert sort of… appealing? It’s not my fault! Sam Troughton looks so pretty and pale and hurting and… hhnnggghhh?

Much: Robin. Master. When I was serving the King, I was serving you. When I think of England, I think of you.

Okay, let’s take a break from confessions of love to appreciate the fucking amazing cinematography on the scene where Sheriff et al. ride toward the outlaws.

And the arrangement of putting Robin and Marian back-to-back but with her facing Much strikes me as symbolic somehow.

Robin’s defence of the King irritates me, because omg Richard you are being a moron, believing the stupid tale.

OMG marriage wtf??? No offence, but DO NOT WANT.

Much’s face! He’s… happy for them, but breaking inside and crying and I CAN’T DEAL WITH THIS SHIT.

Also, notice how their physical positions bring Much into the picture here. For the scene it’s not necessary so the writers and the director must have put him there deliberately, so that the viewers get his reaction to what’s happening.

CARTER TO THE RESCUE OMG YAY! Listen, if I can’t have Robin/Much, I’ll take Carter/Much instead, okay? They are both so blond and pretty and I want to see all that pale, pale skin, sliding against each other in the firelight, I want to see the flush spreading down their bodies, the long line of Much’s throat, his fingers pressing hard into the flesh of Carter’s arms, the white tracks of nails on his back, the—

Um. Wait. The King. Oh yes, let’s rescue him.

Much: The desert decided.
ILU! *molests*

Ahahaha, BONCHURCH! MUCH, SERIOUSLY, I’LL BAKE YOU PIE FOREVER!

Omg ~~car~~ horse chase!

MUUUUUUUUUUUUUCH!!! NOOOOOOOOOO! *hyperventilates*
Okay, okay, he’s not hit.

CARTER DON’T DIE!!!

Richard! And his awesome throwing-arm! Hot, y/y?

NOOOOOOOOOOOOO! RICHARD! OMG!!!! NONONONONONO CAAAAAAARTER WHY MUST YOU DIE WHYYYYYYYYYY?

MUCH! DECAPITATING JAMES AND SAVING ROBIN’S LIFE!!!! MUCH FTMFW!

MARIAN AND GUY AND I WOULD RATHER DIE THAN BE WITH YOU GUY OF GISBOURNE!!!

!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

…………..

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!!!

I……

What? I mean… What?

Guy… killed Marian? For reals?

WHAT?

Okay, so it’s no secret that Robin/Marian was never my favourite pairing but… fine, whatever, I cried. With my hands firmly over my mouth the entire time.

But… How? How are they playing this next season? Marian is such an integral part to the whole legend of Robin Hood that… How?

And, and, and Will and Djaq are staying in Holy Land. Does this mean they won’t be in season 3 either? WHAT IS GOING ON? Why are you doing this to me show? WHY?

Robin quotes the Quran. And Much recognises the quote. I… My love knows no bounds.

THE END.

I… omg. That… I can’t believe they killed Marian. I mean… okay, there is a little, shallow part of me that is sort of maybe pleased *hides* because now Robin can find solace and old love that turns into new love with Much… I feel sort of bad for thinking gthat, but sort of not… I… I don’t even know. What is going on next season? Where is all the fic dealing with the various issues raised in these episodes? OMG ROBIN HOOD FEN COME AND HOLD ME!

*trembles*