A Fic Rec! ...of sorts.

[kat_lair]

So, a while ago pushkin666  and I were talking about bad fic and purple prose and what god awful sex scenes some so called “professional” (read: published) authors write. Then, because she’s a sadistic bitch who enjoys torturing her friends, she started writing fic. Bad femmeslash to be exact.  And by god it was awful. But also funny. And kinda brilliant, in a really really sick way.

So. Share my pain, people. Experience the rustling of Aldi carrier bags, the glittery coconut lube, the hot pinkness of velvety love tunnel... Experience THE TREASURE HOUSE OF FEMALENESS! (f/f, d/s, warnings for fisting and erm, penguin noises)

EDIT: Please leave all comments, adulation and hysterical sobbing on pushkin666 's journal. She wrote it, she can deal with the fall out... :D

EDIT2: pushkin666 IS NOW SPAMMING ME WITH PHOTOS OF PENGUINS HAVING SEX, SOMEONE MAKE HER STOP FOR THE LOVE OF GOD *whimpers brokenly*

Comments

[precious-rosie.livejournal.com]

OMG! My eyes! My eyes! Hahahahahahaa! :-D You have to get this sent off for publication! ;-) It's the sort of thing that 'Scarlet' wets its panties for!

I want you to come my pet, my sweaty slave of multiple orgasms. Come for me now; go on. Scream. Let the neighbours know what we’re doing. Cry out your surrender. Come for me. Now!”

*picks self up from floor laughing* I'm surprised the neighbours could hear anything considering all the talking she is doing!

"hot pink love tunnel" indeed! :-D

Priceless! :-)

[kat-lair.livejournal.com]

It is indeed hilarity and blindness inducing... I'm glad you have shared in the pain/awesomeness but I think pushkin666 would appreciate it if you could leave this comment on her post? Since it was her fic... :)

[precious-rosie.livejournal.com]

Sure, no problem! :-)

[snuffkin.livejournal.com]

omg I think even reading your summary was a traumatic experience for me

[kat-lair.livejournal.com]

I BETAED THAT FIC, DON'T TALK TO ME ABOUT TRAUMA. Also, you should go tell pushkin666 this :D

[snuffkin.livejournal.com]

OMG I'M SO SO SORRY! D: I CAN ONLY IMAGINE HOW THAT MUST HAVE BEEN FOR YOU :( *hugs*

[kat-lair.livejournal.com]

I NEEDED SO MUCH WINE OMG! *clings*

[snuffkin.livejournal.com]

OMG WINE! WINE IS A GOOD IDEA! AND WE HAVE LOTS OF IT! it'll make me forget the horrors I have seen ;_; (omg now the memories of all the bad!fics I have read make their way to the surface... oooooh the pain T_T )

[kat-lair.livejournal.com]

DID YOU LISTEN TO THE PENGUIN NOISES? (nightmares, i have nightmares about those penguin noises...)

[snuffkin.livejournal.com]

OMG NO I DIDN'T DARE TO. I'M SUCH A COWARD BUT SRSLY I DON'T WANT TO HAVE THE AUDIO TO THE IMAGE!

[kat-lair.livejournal.com]

;_; GOD YOU SHOULD SO YOU CAN HAVE THE MULTIMEDIA EXPERIENCE. AND SHARE MY PAIN.

[pushkin666.livejournal.com]

pfft. says the woman who sent me the link to the penguin sounds ... you only have yourself to blame.

[kat-lair.livejournal.com]

OMG I TAKE IT ALL BACK!

_{why? why would you do this to meeeeee?}

[pushkin666.livejournal.com]

*SNIGGERS*

[kat-lair.livejournal.com]

hrmph!

[pushkin666.livejournal.com]

*offers you hot chocolate and marshmallows*

[kat-lair.livejournal.com]

*is suspicious but mollified*

[pushkin666.livejournal.com]

how could you be suspicious of little old innocent me ...?

[kat-lair.livejournal.com]

Oh I don't know... Experience? Survival instinct? Common sense?

[pushkin666.livejournal.com]

Ahahaha. Well all of those of course.
And your icon is very pretty

[trialia]

*traumatised just by the summary*

[kat-lair.livejournal.com]

ikr? My reactions whilst reading every part as it was written: AHAHAHAHA EEEWWWW AHAHAHA *gags* *cries* AHAHAHAHA

[redsnake05.livejournal.com]

*boggles*

*reads post again*

*whimpers*

[kat-lair.livejournal.com]

:DDDD Buck up soldier! Go whimper at pushkin666 (not that she'll do anything but laugh at you but still)