"he liked looking at his huge baby-makers hanging down, filled with spooge"

[kat_lair]

Something to brighten your morning: stoney321 offers some examples and thoughts on the best/worst in bad!fic. I laughed, I cried, I contemplated lobotomy. I felt hugely validated both as a writer and as a non-native English speaker. It was a beautiful experience.

Do not, I repeat: do not, drink coffee when reading. Other beverages optional, but coffee may be ruined forever. *stares sadly at her cup of Kenyan roast, then tosses it away*

***

In other news, trialia is dragging me to Manchester Collectormania this Sunday. Anyone else from my f-list there that would like to meet up?

***

Oh, and the Brutal Honesty Meme. I'm here. Smack me with a brick, mah pretties. I like it rough.

Comments

[deansam67.livejournal.com]

I read that bad!fic stuff earlier today and nearly peed myself with laughter, I kid you not. :D

[kat-lair.livejournal.com]

I made undignified honking sounds and had to cross my legs very hard. Best possible start to a morning.

[deansam67.livejournal.com]

lol! The title of this post is making me laugh all over again.

[kat-lair.livejournal.com]

It was either that or "cuntal walls" which I kind of want to be my journal name now....

[deansam67.livejournal.com]

I am laughing so hard at that, but I think it's just the alcohol, fucking with my tiny brain.

[kat-lair.livejournal.com]

What's so funny about CUNTAL WALLS? Surely this is the height of literary prose. Like...

The quivering, spongy cuntal walls squeezed rhythmically as he plundered her dripping love cavern with his throbbing meat-sword.

[deansam67.livejournal.com]

Dripping love cavern! lmao!

[pushkin666.livejournal.com]

sighs, so anything that has a title like that is going to catch my eye. goes to read

[kat-lair.livejournal.com]

See above, it was either that for a title or "cuntal walls".

Oh, and I was serious about the coffee.

[pushkin666.livejournal.com]

Yeah, don't worry I'll read it at some point tonight, without coffee.

I do however now feel the urge to go and write badfic. Oh you enabler you ...

[kat-lair.livejournal.com]

Thanks for the cartoons *gg*

I'll read your badfic. But only if it has CUNTAL WALLS in it. _{seriously, it's like crack, I cannot stop saying it. cuntal. walls.}

[pushkin666.livejournal.com]

But if it has cuntal walls in it doesn't that presuppose it's het? Hmm. Goes off to cogitate on slash badfic (when clearly I should be working *grins*)

[kat-lair.livejournal.com]

a throbbing meat sword?

[pushkin666.livejournal.com]

*snorts*
I like it.
oh, it's gonna be so bad, you do realise that don't you. I may bring it up to Manchester with me next week and make you read it *grins*. I'm not sure I'll dare post it on my LJ.

[kat-lair.livejournal.com]

a quivering love stick?

bring. it. on.

[moth2fic.livejournal.com]

I highlighted the white on white bit.

[kat-lair.livejournal.com]

My condolences. So did I. And I was drinking coffee while I did it. *bleaches brain*

[enchantersnight.livejournal.com]

Just read the badfic, and can't see for crying with laughter!!

[kat-lair.livejournal.com]

Yes exactly. So cleansing somehow.

[smokey2307.livejournal.com]

I am putting this here not because it is at all related, but because I can think of nowhere else...

Happy Birthday for tomorrow, I might not have a computer then, because I'm so bogged down. Thus your present will not be complete until Saturday evening, I'm afraid. It'll be worth the wait, I do hope!

xx

[kat-lair.livejournal.com]

It's my b'day in... 6 minutes so I can say THANK YOU DARLING! Don't worry about the present, I probably won't have time tomorrow for much of anything (except this huge music post, hopefully) so whatever it is I won't get to it until Saturday anyway...

[wliberation.livejournal.com]

Agh. I was drinking coffee when I clicked that link. And I did highlight. But thanks to your warning (seriously, I owe you my first born), I only read the first sentence before catching on and running away screaming. *shivers* At least this time there were no visuals.

Oh, bad porn, I feel the world would be so much more and more duller without you.

[kat-lair.livejournal.com]

It's like a red flag to a bull, of course you highlighted, just like I did. And I did read the entire thing... like a car wreck I was unable to look away.

[wliberation.livejournal.com]

(Who could resist such an obvious temptation.) *pets* Poor you. I hope that some day, perhaps not soon but some day coffee will seem like its old self again to you.