I also deliberately wanted to respond to the last part of your post in a separate comment - a lot of real world shit happening in the world at the moment - and how I've been thinking of how I'm not being very successful in finding escapism in fandom (fandoms of one don't provide this) and media the way I've been able to do for a long time.

MG pointed out that our media choices have got a lot darker which isn't helping any I don't think - it doesn't have to all be sunshine and lollipops but when the world appears to be going to hell in a handbasket perhaps a media diet that just underlines that view isn't an excellent choice. I'm remembering how avid reading allowed me to escape a lot of shit in childhood.

Dear gods, you've got me thinking about important stuff. *squishes you* ♥