Firefly Ficlet: Moth

[kat_lair]

Happy Belated Birthday to trialia. For her I have braved a new fandom and a new “genre”. Behold my first attempt at Firefly and femmeslash, all in one tiny ficlet. *is nervous*

Oh, and this will probably make no sense whatsoever if you haven’t seen Firefly. Chances are high that it makes no sense even if you have. Mea culpa.

 

Firefly – Inara/River preslash – PG-13 – 489 words

Moth
(prompt: fire)

 

River dreams in black and white. She dreams in space and stars, in piano keys and ink running over rice paper, the characters unreadable.

When she wakes up, the noise slams into her like a shot. She takes it standing up, lets it burrow inside, the rainbow static of the crew filling her with stray memories, fragments of thought, half-felt emotions.

Serenity sings outside and inside and in secret between-places. River pants around the verses, hands braced on her knees, and waits.

Thirty-four seconds. A full minute on a bad day.

Then she goes to brush her teeth.

 

***

 

“Breakfast is the most important meal of the day.” River mouths the words along with Simon, behind his back.

Kaylee giggles. Her laughter is the colour of cherry blossoms and it makes Simon smile, real and carefree. He reaches behind him, pokes River in the side, unerringly finding the ticklish spot between her ribs.

The porridge tastes of nothing much, faintly sweet and not unpleasant. River sits beside Jayne because she knows it unnerves him but that he won’t tell her to move.

 

***

 

Zoe and Wash smell of each other. The walls of their bunk are warm under River’s hand as she walks past, fingertips trailing the smooth metal.

Everyone thinks she’s too young, too broken, to understand, but that’s not true. She’s just too young to do anything about it.

Maybe the other thing too.

 

***

 

The cargo bay is for doing cart wheels.

Mal and Book are leaning on the railing, their soft murmurs drifting down and wrapping around her as she whirls, dancing around the glass-sharp edges of their thoughts.

The second thing River learned in the institute was that everything has two layers; that what is said is not always what is meant, that what is seen is rarely what it looks like.

She won’t let herself remember what the first thing she learned was.

 

***

 

Inara is never surprised to see her, even though River doesn’t keep to a schedule. She never plans to go visit her, she just goes.

The shuttle is always shadowy, but there are no monsters in here. Inara offers undemanding company and acceptance that is tainted with neither pity nor excuses. 

She smells like incense, like fire, and River is drawn, inexorably, her lines smudged and indistinct. Nothing Inara does is sketched. Every gesture is complete even before it’s done, every word fully thought-through. She burns, but it’s a slow ember, hidden and protected.

There are questions River wants to ask, but some of them can only be answered in flesh, and her body is not quite her own yet. So she drinks the tea, chasing exotic spices with her tongue. She listens to the chime of Inara’s bracelets and the steady flow of her mind. She stays very still, lying on top of the heavy brocade of the pillows, red and gold and brushing against her skin like a kiss. 

She waits.

 

Fin.

Comments

[wylouloucoyote.livejournal.com]

Beautiful, though slash isnt my thing. But i had to comment to say your icon is the funniest damn thing I have ever seen. I love it! And is there anyway I can steal it?

[kat-lair.livejournal.com]

Thank you very much. I write almost exclusively m/m slash with some gen thrown it, but for a friend's birthday I'm willing to try other things...

The icon is indeed awesome, but it's not made by me. Sadly I can't even tell you who is its creator. I found it somewhere uncredited and uncredited it remains with a that the icon-maker comes forward so I can a)credit and b)worship them. So in that sense it's completely up for grabs I guess, help yourself.

[wylouloucoyote.livejournal.com]

Thank you! :) I occasionally indulge in M/M slash, but it has to be really mild or I get squicked. I am terribly het. LOL.

[trialia]

You're awesome, darling! Don't have time to read it now, but I will tomorrow! *huggles and runs*

[kat-lair.livejournal.com]

I take special vitamin supplements to obtain this level awesomeness... Hope you like it!

_{I'll let you know about the collectormania closer to the time, hun.}

[trialia]

Hehe, show me where to get some! Please! And yeah, that's okay. :)

As for the fic... beautiful. I would never have believed you hadn't written River before if I didn't know better. That's seriously lovely. *huggles muchly* Thank you so much!

[kat-lair.livejournal.com]

*wipes brow* Whew, I'm ecstatic that you liked the ficlet! River's voice was surprisingly easy to write... should I be worried? *gg*

[trialia]

*smiles* Of course! I told you, I love your writing. It's come off wonderfully. And not at all! I'm crazy and I have trouble writing her, so you must be remarkably clear-headed to think her clearly ^_^

[pushkin666.livejournal.com]

I don't understand the fandom but the language was, as ever, simply lovely.

[kat-lair.livejournal.com]

Thank you darling! It means a lot that you take the time to read even when you don't know the fandom.

[helygen.livejournal.com]

This is stunning. The language, the imagery, the observations ... absolutely exquisite.

[kat-lair.livejournal.com]

Oh wow, thank you so much. I've never written this fandom before so your comment means a lot. *squirms with pleasure*

[hereswith.livejournal.com]

I liked your River voice here, and the writing is lovely.

[kat-lair.livejournal.com]

Thank you very much! First time writing her or the fandom, so I'm relieved you think so.

[planetkiller.livejournal.com]

This was pretty. I love your River voice and how she's coherent even if she doesn't always makes sense.

[kat-lair.livejournal.com]

Thank you very much. I find writing characters who are unbalanced often disturbingly easy... *eyes the 4000+ word Doctor/Master epic wip*

[songandsilence.livejournal.com]

That was beautifully written, even though Inara/River has never even crossed my mind!!

Again, beautiful and so like River without over-doing it.

[kat-lair.livejournal.com]

Thank you so much. This pairing isn't the one I would think out the Firefly ones either, but it was written at trialia's request... Glad you liked.

[sadiane.livejournal.com]

Oh, lovely. You know I get the River voice all too well :)

It reads like you've been writing this for years - confident, comfortable, with all the textures that make up the show for me, somehow slick but rough-rusted and luminously dark. I don't usually read 'shippy River fic: anyone else is fair game, but she's just so broken. Now I'm going to have to ask for your take on Simon/Mal *g*

[kat-lair.livejournal.com]

Thank you darling. And heh, I didn't think of it like that, but yeah, I guess you would get the mixture of sensory experiences here all too well...

And just... Oh hun, the things you say about my writing are going to give me such ego! *squirms with pleasure*

I'm cutting down and birthday drabble and ficlet offers simply because I don't have the time and the f-list is getting bigger. But you are one of the ppl I'll make an exception for. So, Simon/Mal ficlet for your (our!) birthday? I'll be needing a prompt...

[sadiane.livejournal.com]

It's not quite like that, but close, especially that first section. And mostly because I'm so used to it that it's not all that distracting most of the time (unless I get a migraine, which short-circuts my ability to ignore anything, as well as the ability to think in words. Its sort of freaky, and more so when they fling me into a CAT scan)

*keeps stroking ego, enjoys the squirming*

Oh, I wasn't even fishing for custom fic...! I won't spend that on a pairing I just dabbled in, no matter how pretty Simon's neck is. Hmmm, I'll think about it and send you an email or something, give you some options :D Would you kill me if it's a song prompt? Not song-fic or anything.

[kat-lair.livejournal.com]

Well, flattery will get you to most places around here... So yeah, send a prompt or several by email if you want. Song-prompts are fine, though you may have to upload the song for me if I don't have it already...

[margaret-r.livejournal.com]

You do all the voices well and capture River's dreamy character perfectly. I only recently caught up with Firefly, having missed it when it was screened here on TV as it was shown at some ungodly hour at night. Got hold of the DVD box set though and thoroughly enjoyed it. You certainly brought it to life here.

[kat-lair.livejournal.com]

Thank you very much, I'm thoroughly flattered and happy you enjoyed this. My Firefly experience is fairly recent as well. trialia showed me the first half of the series last May, I saw the movie during the summer and in October I caught up with the rest when I was visiting another friend.

[jazzfic.livejournal.com]

That was absolutely beautiful. You have River's POV so perfectly, I felt I could really believe this.

*adds to mems*

[kat-lair.livejournal.com]

I'm so happy and relieved River's voice came through okay. Thank you very much for taking the time to read and leave feedback, it really means a lot to me.

[jade-equirrel.livejournal.com]

Absolutely beautiful. It annoys me when people try to write River and they just can't get into her head.

Also, the real reason I stopped by to read this was due to your icon. Comma Sutra. I giggled to myself for a good long time. Clever.

[kat-lair.livejournal.com]

Thank you very much for leaving feedback, it means a lot. I'm glad you thought I got River's voice right.

Ah yes, this seems to be the icon that reels in people. I can't take credit for it nor can I unfortunately tell you who made it but it is undoubtedly awesome.

[ekaterinn.livejournal.com]

Oh, lovely. You've a real knack for a River voice, which is a difficult trick to master. I love the sensuality of the whole piece, the sense of a life being lived as well as River's quiet anticipation. *sighs happily*

[kat-lair.livejournal.com]

Thak you very much! For some reason that I like to not dwell on I find writing unbalanced/bumfuck crazy/totally psychotic characters relatively effortless... I'm really pleased you liked and took the time to tell me so. ♥

[invisibleshrew.livejournal.com]

Oh, that's beautiful! River alive through all her senses, and coping with the relentless barrage of crew-ness so well. Lovely economical writing, and I really like the quiet at the end.

[kat-lair.livejournal.com]

Thank you so much. I have a thing for describing things through all the senses when I write and River gave me a legitimate reason to play that up a lot. I'm really pleased it worked. Thanks for commenting.

[kinky-carter.livejournal.com]

Beautifully written!

[kat-lair.livejournal.com]

How lovely to receive feedback on an old fic. I'm pleased you enjoyed this :)

[kinky-carter.livejournal.com]

You're welcome, hehe, I'm going through my Firefly phase again. :P