Entry tags:
Spooktober 2023, Day 21/31. Guardian Fic: been saving it all for you ('cause only love can last)
***
Title: been saving it all for you ('cause only love can last)
Author:![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
kat_lair
Fandom: Guardian
Pairing: Chu Shuzhi/Guo Changcheng
Tags: Virgin Sacrifice, Awkward Conversations, It's For a Case. Background Relationships, Minor Shen Wei/Zhao Yunlan
Rating: T
Word count: 2,712
Disclaimer: Not mine!
Summary:
Author notes: Spooktober 2023, Day 21/31. Prompt/theme: ritual. Title from Madonna's Like A Virgin because I could not. Omfg, this fought me so much. It was going to be a little ficlet but these two would not fucking shut up. I realise the fic finishes before the, erm, main event but I have Spooktober ficlets to write and I can’t afford to get carried away by these two idiots stammering their way through that right now so… Let your imagination do the rest, I guess.
been saving it all for you ('cause only love can last) on AO3
To his credit, Chief Zhao approaches him with the question when no one else is around to hear. Guo Changcheng is trying to organise their computer database, which in theory should be a part and therefore a replica of the main police database, only heavily encrypted, but which in practice seems to be operating a whole different algorithm he hasn’t figured out yet. The sound of a throat being cleared somewhere behind him startles him enough that he almost presses delete and destroys hours of work. When he turns around, he finds Zhao Yunlan perched on one of the empty desks. It’s late and everyone else has gone home.
“Woah, woah, didn’t mean to scare you!” he says, holding his hands up placatingly.
Guo Changcheng wants to scowl and snap but this is his boss, so he plasters on a smile instead and folds his hands in front of him. “What can I do for you, Chief Zhao?”
“Oh, nothing, nothing, just checking up on our favourite rookie.” He flashes Guo Changcheng a blinding smile, one that would’ve made him swoon a few months ago for sure. But a lot has happened since he started at SID. Enough that he knows that when Zhao Yunlan says ‘nothing’ it almost always means ‘definitely something, and almost definitely something you won’t like’ so Guo Changcheng just waits him out.
Chief Zhao regards him silently for some long, silent seconds, and then, out of nowhere, asks, “Are you seeing anyone, Guo Changcheng?”
Guo Changcheng blinks. “Am I…?” He can’t be asking what Guo Changcheng thinks he’s asking, can he?
Apparently, he is. “I mean, do you have a girlfriend? Boyfriend? A romantic partner?” Zhao Yunlan clarifies, looking like he’s waiting for a crucial clue in a case, eyes sharp and focused.
“Uh… No?”
“You don’t sound sure,” Zhao Yunlan observes.
Guo Changcheng can feel himself blushing. “No. I mean, yes. I’m sure. I don’t have a… romantic partner. Why…?” His eyes widen in sudden horror. His old puppy crush notwithstanding, he doesn’t actually want… And there’s Professor Shen Wei to consider as well! Chief Zhao can’t seriously be…?
Zhao Yunlan, seemingly unaware of Guo Changcheng’s internal panic, sighs in… disappointment? “Right. Well. In that case… We’ve got a new case,” he says. “And I think you need to sit it out.”
“Why?”
It takes about twenty minutes of Zhao Yunlan telling him about the group of rogue magic users and their taste for all manner of dark rituals and spells, about the people they are targeting for their nefarious purposed, until Guo Changcheng puts two and two together.
“Wait,” he interrupts Zhao Yunlan mid-flow. “When you say they’re kidnapping ‘inexperienced and sheltered young people’, you mean…?”
“Yes,” Zhao Yunlan says. And now, at last, he looks at least a little uncomfortable. “I mean sexually inexperienced.”
“Virgins,” Guo Changcheng says and then the penny finally drops. “You think I’m a…?”
“Well…” Chief Zhao rubs the back of his neck awkwardly. “Aren’t you?”
Guo Changcheng barks a laugh, caught somewhere between amused and irritated and yes, god, embarrassed, because this is not a topic he’d thought he’d ever have to discuss with his boss. “No,” he says, crossing his arms defensively, “I am not.”
“Huh.” It’s Zhao Yunlan’s turn to blink at him. For a moment he looks like he wants to ask questions but then thinks better of it. “Alright. Guess we don’t have a problem then.”
***
The next morning, Zhao Yunlan lays out the details of the case again, this time for the whole team who are back in the office. Guo Changcheng tunes out most of it, since he’s already heard it all, instead focusing on observing the others. Shen Wei is looking blank as always, although it’s easy to see the banked fury at those using their powers to abuse others once you know what to look for. Zhu Hong is filing her nails, pretending not to be interested but she too isn’t fooling anyone. Lin Qing is already deep in research mode on the computer while Wang Zheng and Sang Zan are exchanging meaningful glances, suggesting that they’ll have some useful information to share once the briefing is over. Da Qing is missing, already on the field, following a potential lead. And Chu Shuzhi…
Guo Changcheng tries very hard not to stare at him too obviously, but as always, it’s a lost cause. Chu Shuzhi catches him almost immediately and for a second or two their gazes snag together, his intense as always and Guo Changcheng’s probably like a startled rabbit’s.
“…virgin sacrifices,” Zhao Yunlan finishes his explanation, and Guo Changcheng diverts his attention back to the briefing as this seems like a point where the actual tasks are going to be assigned.
It takes him a moment to realise that everyone is staring at him, and then another one before he realises why. This time, there’s no amusement, only annoyance. “Oh, for god’s sake!” he huffs. “For the last time, I am not a virgin!” He knows his face is flaming red but refuses to give into the embarrassment.
There are some raised eyebrows but Chief Zhao, who always knows how to read the room and occasionally uses that skill to ease social interactions rather than just make them more awkward for his own amusement, claps his hands decisively. “Which is why it’s good that this is not an issue for anyone here.” He pauses just long enough to send a suggestive eyebrow waggle in Professor Shen’s direction, who predictably pretends not to notice, although there is a telltale pink tint to his cheeks that Guo Changcheng chooses not to interpret in any way for his own peace of mind.
The conversation moves on to the investigative strategy and for a while everything seems business as usual.
***
It doesn’t last.
An hour later, Guo Changcheng and Chu Shuzhi are sitting in a café, keeping an eye on the laundrette opposite which, incongruously, is supposed to be one of the group’s regular meeting places.
“Lots of students using that place,” Guo Changcheng whispers. “Would probably make a perfect spot for them to pick up… You know.”
Chu Shuzhi looks like he’d just bitten into a lemon, his usual scowl deepening by several degrees. Guo Changcheng doesn’t usually mind but right now they’re supposed to look like two colleagues, maybe even friends, having a casual coffee break and one of them sporting a frankly murderous expression is not exactly selling it.
He lets out a fake laugh that, whilst not particularly good, at least jolts Chu Shuzhi enough for him to blink like a normal human rather than just glare at the laundrette like a predator.
“Do you think that’s where they’re keeping the… VTM?” Guo Changcheng asks.
The question Guo Changcheng hadn’t even thought about, but Zhu Hong had asked almost immediately at the briefing, was ‘how would the gang know who was a virgin and who was not?’ The answer, apparently, was some kind of unholy magic enhanced doo-dah that detected the ‘purity’ of someone’s soul, which Ling Qing had dubbed the ‘Virginity Detection Machine’. It had also prompted an indignant thirty-minute lecture from Professor Shen on the socially constructed nature of ‘purity’, which Chief Zhao had raptly listened with an increasingly impure glint in his eyes.
There had been no commentary from Chu Shuzhi at the time and there is no commentary from him now either. Guo Changcheng doesn’t let it discourage him the way it would have once upon a time. Still, this particular silence seems somehow… more frustrated than usual, maybe even apprehensive.
“We should check it out,” Guo Changcheng says, thinking some action, instead of just sitting around, might do the other man some good.
However, he doesn’t get any farther than scooting his chair back before there’s a hand seizing his forearm in a vice grip.
“Stay,” Chu Shuzhi all but growls.
Guo Changcheng relaxes back into his seat. He waits for some explanation, but it takes almost ten more minutes of observing people go into the laundrette (and, thankfully, also come out), until one seems forthcoming.
“We can’t go in there,” Chu Shuzhi grits out.
Two more minutes of silence follow until Guo Changcheng finally caves. “Why not?” he asks, whispering.
Chu Shuzhi does something Guo Changcheng has never seen before. He… fidgets. There’s a distinctly uncomfortable shifting of body weight, followed by him picking out one of the little packets of sugar and just… twisting it in his fingers. Guo Changcheng stares.
“Because,” Chu Shuzhi says finally and then breathes a few times. “Because we will be… Compromised.”
Well, that explains precisely nothing. “Compromised how?” Guo Changcheng all but hisses across the table. “If you’re worried about the VTM, I swear I wasn’t lying earlier, I…”
“The problem is not you, Guo Changcheng,” Chu Shuzhi interrupts. He sounds… resigned. He’s staring at the laundrette across the street as if he’s trying to set it on fire with his mind, which to Guo Changcheng’s knowledge is not one of his powers.
There’s something about the way Chu Shuzhi says ‘you’, ‘the problem is not you’ that suggests the problem is someone else, but there is no one else here except Chu Shuzhi and that would imply… That would mean…
Guo Changcheng is not proud of it but he full on gasps, eyes and mouth going round in surprise, like he’s one of those marionettes with exaggerated emotions painted on the brightest colours so even the people on the back benches know what’s happening. But it’s just…
It’s unbelievable. Like, literally. Guo Changcheng thinks he’d find it easier to believe that the earth is flat or they’re all living in a dream or Professor Shen Wei is switching careers to open a bakery than Chu Shuzhi being… Chu Shuzhi never…
“How?”
That makes Chu Shuzhi’s gaze snap back to him, his face tight with anger. “I’m sure you’ll know the mechanics of—”
“No, no, no!” Guo Changcheng holds up his hands, words tripping from his mouth in a jumble as he tries to find the right ones to… To reassure, to… Just, something, anything, to wipe that expression of mortification and misery off Chu Shuzhi’s face. “I mean… Just, look at you. You’re so…” He waves his hand around, trying to encompass all of Chu Shuzhi, from his body that is somewhere between a weapon and a work of art to his fierce loyalty and surprising patience and carefully hidden kindness. “You’re amazing,” he finally settles on, blushing but willing to sacrifice his own embarrassment to ease Chu Shuzhi’s. “I don’t understand why people aren’t falling over themselves for a chance to…” He trails off, pretty sure he doesn’t have to go to the ‘mechanics’ for Chu Shuzhi to get the gist.
The man is now full on gawping at him, earlier anger and frustration and even embarrassment seemingly forgotten in the wake of Guo Changcheng’s outburst.
“Yeah. Anyway,” Guo Changcheng rubs the back of his neck, feeling just how hot his skin is. “I was just surprised, that’s all.”
Silently, Chu Shuzhi nods. They go back to watching the laundrette. Guo Changcheng orders them more coffee and, since they’re clearly going to be here for a while yet, two slices of cake. Chu Shuzhi’s mouth ticks up in an unmistakable smile when he puts the plate in front of him.
It’s somewhere half-way through the cakes, while Guo Changcheng is trying to squint through two windows to see if the guy behind the counter at the laundrette is one of the suspects or not, that Chu Shuzhi next says something.
“There have been… offers,” he comments, so clearly trying for casual that Guo Changcheng’s heart hurts a little. “But…”
“You didn’t like any of them?” Guo Changcheng suggests.
Chu Shuzhi shrugs. “They didn’t like me,” he says, and then, seeing Guo Changcheng’s frown, clarifies, “They liked what I was, not who I was. They didn’t know me really, to even do that.”
It… Makes sense, sort of. Chu Shuzhi has more reasons than most to keep his secrets. And people drawn just for the ‘dark and dangerous’ outside he projects so well… Guo Changcheng gets it. He doesn’t think he’d like to have sex with someone like that either. He nods to show he understands.
Another two minutes of silence during which Guo Changcheng watches a group of friends carry several suitcases of dirty clothes, presumably, into the laundrette, and Chu Shuzhi watches him, follow.
“You like me,” Chu Shuzhi says eventually. There is something… contemplative in his voice. Like he’s solving a puzzle, sounding out the solution as he talks.
“Uhh…” Guo Changcheng doesn’t have it in him to even try to deny it.
“And you know me,” Chu Shuzhi adds. There’s a note of finality to it, as if he’s just laid down a closing argument in a legal case. He leans back, arms crossed and looks at Guo Changcheng expectantly.
Guo Changcheng, as is often the case, has no idea of what is expected of him.
“You said…” Chu Shuzhi does that fidgeting thing again, tapping a finger against an empty cup, his gaze wandering around the café, the street outside, the laundrette - Guo Changcheng really hopes nothing really important is happening there because neither of them is on top of their surveillance game right now – but returning to Guo Changcheng regularly. “You think I’m…” He clears his throat, something that looks awfully like a blush staining his cheeks, “…amazing.”
Guo Changcheng is nodding before Chu Shuzhi even stops talking because… Well. He did say it and he does think it and Chu Shuzhi deserves to know and… Wait.
Guo Changcheng’s brain screeches to a halt with all the grace of a train colliding with a mountain side. “What…? Are you…?”
Surely not? Surely, surely not? There is no way that Chu Shuzhi is saying what Guo Changcheng thinks he’s saying.
“Would you like to have dinner tonight?” Chu Shuzhi asks, every muscle locked in place, his face like granite, if granite was sort of pink. “At my place. I’ll cook.”
And. Well. Guo Changcheng is not the best at social cues but this one is not what one would call subtle. He opens his mouth and then snaps it shut. Because, honestly? His first instinct is to tell Chu Shuzhi to stop joking, that it isn’t funny. But for all his faults – which Guo Changcheng, contrary to popular belief, is not blind to – Chu Shuzhi isn’t cruel and he’s definitely not laughing.
Guo Changcheng’s second thought is to tell Chu Shuzhi that he doesn’t have to do this, now or at all, and if he decides to, anyway, he could definitely do better than…
Except. Except that’s not quite right. The current case does rather put an immediate deadline on things, and whilst Chu Shuzhi could have excused himself from it, the time to do that without everyone knowing why had long passed, which is clearly something he doesn’t want to do. It’s not fair, but then life rarely is. And hadn’t Chu Shuzhi just explained why he’d declined past offers, all the qualities he was looking for and didn’t find, all the qualities that Guo Changcheng, out of everyone, somehow possesses? To dismiss that is to dismiss Chu Shuzhi’s agency over the situation, something Guo Changcheng knows he’s never had a lot of to begin with.
Chu Shuzhi is asking him. But if Guo Changcheng says no, he knows Chu Shuzhi will go asking elsewhere.
Guo Changcheng doesn’t want to say no. He definitely doesn’t want Chu Shuzhi to do this with some stranger who won’t know him, won’t appreciate the goddamn privilege of…
The longer the silence stretches, the more shuttered Chu Shuzhi’s body langue gets. “Never mind,” he finally mutters. “You don’t…”
“I would love to,” Guo Changcheng blurts out. “I mean… Yes. That’s… Please.”
For a moment Chu Shuzhi freezes. And then, wondrously, all the tension seems to flow out of him like water. He relaxes back into his seat, a small smile blooming into a smirk as he regards Guo Changcheng with a mixture of gratitude and… Anticipation.
“So polite,” he murmurs. “Maybe you’ll say that to me again, later.”
Guo Changcheng swallows. He absolutely will.
***
Title: been saving it all for you ('cause only love can last)
Author:
kat_lair Fandom: Guardian
Pairing: Chu Shuzhi/Guo Changcheng
Tags: Virgin Sacrifice, Awkward Conversations, It's For a Case. Background Relationships, Minor Shen Wei/Zhao Yunlan
Rating: T
Word count: 2,712
Disclaimer: Not mine!
Summary:
“Wait,” Guo Changcheng interrupts Zhao Yunlan mid-flow. “When you say they’re kidnapping ‘inexperienced and sheltered young people’, you mean…?”
“Yes,” Zhao Yunlan says. And now, at last, he looks at least a little uncomfortable. “I mean sexually inexperienced.”
“Virgins,” Guo Changcheng says and then the penny finally drops. “You think I’m a…?”
“Well…” Chief Zhao rubs the back of his neck awkwardly. “Aren’t you?”
[Spoiler: He is not. But turns out someone else is.]
Author notes: Spooktober 2023, Day 21/31. Prompt/theme: ritual. Title from Madonna's Like A Virgin because I could not. Omfg, this fought me so much. It was going to be a little ficlet but these two would not fucking shut up. I realise the fic finishes before the, erm, main event but I have Spooktober ficlets to write and I can’t afford to get carried away by these two idiots stammering their way through that right now so… Let your imagination do the rest, I guess.
been saving it all for you ('cause only love can last) on AO3
To his credit, Chief Zhao approaches him with the question when no one else is around to hear. Guo Changcheng is trying to organise their computer database, which in theory should be a part and therefore a replica of the main police database, only heavily encrypted, but which in practice seems to be operating a whole different algorithm he hasn’t figured out yet. The sound of a throat being cleared somewhere behind him startles him enough that he almost presses delete and destroys hours of work. When he turns around, he finds Zhao Yunlan perched on one of the empty desks. It’s late and everyone else has gone home.
“Woah, woah, didn’t mean to scare you!” he says, holding his hands up placatingly.
Guo Changcheng wants to scowl and snap but this is his boss, so he plasters on a smile instead and folds his hands in front of him. “What can I do for you, Chief Zhao?”
“Oh, nothing, nothing, just checking up on our favourite rookie.” He flashes Guo Changcheng a blinding smile, one that would’ve made him swoon a few months ago for sure. But a lot has happened since he started at SID. Enough that he knows that when Zhao Yunlan says ‘nothing’ it almost always means ‘definitely something, and almost definitely something you won’t like’ so Guo Changcheng just waits him out.
Chief Zhao regards him silently for some long, silent seconds, and then, out of nowhere, asks, “Are you seeing anyone, Guo Changcheng?”
Guo Changcheng blinks. “Am I…?” He can’t be asking what Guo Changcheng thinks he’s asking, can he?
Apparently, he is. “I mean, do you have a girlfriend? Boyfriend? A romantic partner?” Zhao Yunlan clarifies, looking like he’s waiting for a crucial clue in a case, eyes sharp and focused.
“Uh… No?”
“You don’t sound sure,” Zhao Yunlan observes.
Guo Changcheng can feel himself blushing. “No. I mean, yes. I’m sure. I don’t have a… romantic partner. Why…?” His eyes widen in sudden horror. His old puppy crush notwithstanding, he doesn’t actually want… And there’s Professor Shen Wei to consider as well! Chief Zhao can’t seriously be…?
Zhao Yunlan, seemingly unaware of Guo Changcheng’s internal panic, sighs in… disappointment? “Right. Well. In that case… We’ve got a new case,” he says. “And I think you need to sit it out.”
“Why?”
It takes about twenty minutes of Zhao Yunlan telling him about the group of rogue magic users and their taste for all manner of dark rituals and spells, about the people they are targeting for their nefarious purposed, until Guo Changcheng puts two and two together.
“Wait,” he interrupts Zhao Yunlan mid-flow. “When you say they’re kidnapping ‘inexperienced and sheltered young people’, you mean…?”
“Yes,” Zhao Yunlan says. And now, at last, he looks at least a little uncomfortable. “I mean sexually inexperienced.”
“Virgins,” Guo Changcheng says and then the penny finally drops. “You think I’m a…?”
“Well…” Chief Zhao rubs the back of his neck awkwardly. “Aren’t you?”
Guo Changcheng barks a laugh, caught somewhere between amused and irritated and yes, god, embarrassed, because this is not a topic he’d thought he’d ever have to discuss with his boss. “No,” he says, crossing his arms defensively, “I am not.”
“Huh.” It’s Zhao Yunlan’s turn to blink at him. For a moment he looks like he wants to ask questions but then thinks better of it. “Alright. Guess we don’t have a problem then.”
***
The next morning, Zhao Yunlan lays out the details of the case again, this time for the whole team who are back in the office. Guo Changcheng tunes out most of it, since he’s already heard it all, instead focusing on observing the others. Shen Wei is looking blank as always, although it’s easy to see the banked fury at those using their powers to abuse others once you know what to look for. Zhu Hong is filing her nails, pretending not to be interested but she too isn’t fooling anyone. Lin Qing is already deep in research mode on the computer while Wang Zheng and Sang Zan are exchanging meaningful glances, suggesting that they’ll have some useful information to share once the briefing is over. Da Qing is missing, already on the field, following a potential lead. And Chu Shuzhi…
Guo Changcheng tries very hard not to stare at him too obviously, but as always, it’s a lost cause. Chu Shuzhi catches him almost immediately and for a second or two their gazes snag together, his intense as always and Guo Changcheng’s probably like a startled rabbit’s.
“…virgin sacrifices,” Zhao Yunlan finishes his explanation, and Guo Changcheng diverts his attention back to the briefing as this seems like a point where the actual tasks are going to be assigned.
It takes him a moment to realise that everyone is staring at him, and then another one before he realises why. This time, there’s no amusement, only annoyance. “Oh, for god’s sake!” he huffs. “For the last time, I am not a virgin!” He knows his face is flaming red but refuses to give into the embarrassment.
There are some raised eyebrows but Chief Zhao, who always knows how to read the room and occasionally uses that skill to ease social interactions rather than just make them more awkward for his own amusement, claps his hands decisively. “Which is why it’s good that this is not an issue for anyone here.” He pauses just long enough to send a suggestive eyebrow waggle in Professor Shen’s direction, who predictably pretends not to notice, although there is a telltale pink tint to his cheeks that Guo Changcheng chooses not to interpret in any way for his own peace of mind.
The conversation moves on to the investigative strategy and for a while everything seems business as usual.
***
It doesn’t last.
An hour later, Guo Changcheng and Chu Shuzhi are sitting in a café, keeping an eye on the laundrette opposite which, incongruously, is supposed to be one of the group’s regular meeting places.
“Lots of students using that place,” Guo Changcheng whispers. “Would probably make a perfect spot for them to pick up… You know.”
Chu Shuzhi looks like he’d just bitten into a lemon, his usual scowl deepening by several degrees. Guo Changcheng doesn’t usually mind but right now they’re supposed to look like two colleagues, maybe even friends, having a casual coffee break and one of them sporting a frankly murderous expression is not exactly selling it.
He lets out a fake laugh that, whilst not particularly good, at least jolts Chu Shuzhi enough for him to blink like a normal human rather than just glare at the laundrette like a predator.
“Do you think that’s where they’re keeping the… VTM?” Guo Changcheng asks.
The question Guo Changcheng hadn’t even thought about, but Zhu Hong had asked almost immediately at the briefing, was ‘how would the gang know who was a virgin and who was not?’ The answer, apparently, was some kind of unholy magic enhanced doo-dah that detected the ‘purity’ of someone’s soul, which Ling Qing had dubbed the ‘Virginity Detection Machine’. It had also prompted an indignant thirty-minute lecture from Professor Shen on the socially constructed nature of ‘purity’, which Chief Zhao had raptly listened with an increasingly impure glint in his eyes.
There had been no commentary from Chu Shuzhi at the time and there is no commentary from him now either. Guo Changcheng doesn’t let it discourage him the way it would have once upon a time. Still, this particular silence seems somehow… more frustrated than usual, maybe even apprehensive.
“We should check it out,” Guo Changcheng says, thinking some action, instead of just sitting around, might do the other man some good.
However, he doesn’t get any farther than scooting his chair back before there’s a hand seizing his forearm in a vice grip.
“Stay,” Chu Shuzhi all but growls.
Guo Changcheng relaxes back into his seat. He waits for some explanation, but it takes almost ten more minutes of observing people go into the laundrette (and, thankfully, also come out), until one seems forthcoming.
“We can’t go in there,” Chu Shuzhi grits out.
Two more minutes of silence follow until Guo Changcheng finally caves. “Why not?” he asks, whispering.
Chu Shuzhi does something Guo Changcheng has never seen before. He… fidgets. There’s a distinctly uncomfortable shifting of body weight, followed by him picking out one of the little packets of sugar and just… twisting it in his fingers. Guo Changcheng stares.
“Because,” Chu Shuzhi says finally and then breathes a few times. “Because we will be… Compromised.”
Well, that explains precisely nothing. “Compromised how?” Guo Changcheng all but hisses across the table. “If you’re worried about the VTM, I swear I wasn’t lying earlier, I…”
“The problem is not you, Guo Changcheng,” Chu Shuzhi interrupts. He sounds… resigned. He’s staring at the laundrette across the street as if he’s trying to set it on fire with his mind, which to Guo Changcheng’s knowledge is not one of his powers.
There’s something about the way Chu Shuzhi says ‘you’, ‘the problem is not you’ that suggests the problem is someone else, but there is no one else here except Chu Shuzhi and that would imply… That would mean…
Guo Changcheng is not proud of it but he full on gasps, eyes and mouth going round in surprise, like he’s one of those marionettes with exaggerated emotions painted on the brightest colours so even the people on the back benches know what’s happening. But it’s just…
It’s unbelievable. Like, literally. Guo Changcheng thinks he’d find it easier to believe that the earth is flat or they’re all living in a dream or Professor Shen Wei is switching careers to open a bakery than Chu Shuzhi being… Chu Shuzhi never…
“How?”
That makes Chu Shuzhi’s gaze snap back to him, his face tight with anger. “I’m sure you’ll know the mechanics of—”
“No, no, no!” Guo Changcheng holds up his hands, words tripping from his mouth in a jumble as he tries to find the right ones to… To reassure, to… Just, something, anything, to wipe that expression of mortification and misery off Chu Shuzhi’s face. “I mean… Just, look at you. You’re so…” He waves his hand around, trying to encompass all of Chu Shuzhi, from his body that is somewhere between a weapon and a work of art to his fierce loyalty and surprising patience and carefully hidden kindness. “You’re amazing,” he finally settles on, blushing but willing to sacrifice his own embarrassment to ease Chu Shuzhi’s. “I don’t understand why people aren’t falling over themselves for a chance to…” He trails off, pretty sure he doesn’t have to go to the ‘mechanics’ for Chu Shuzhi to get the gist.
The man is now full on gawping at him, earlier anger and frustration and even embarrassment seemingly forgotten in the wake of Guo Changcheng’s outburst.
“Yeah. Anyway,” Guo Changcheng rubs the back of his neck, feeling just how hot his skin is. “I was just surprised, that’s all.”
Silently, Chu Shuzhi nods. They go back to watching the laundrette. Guo Changcheng orders them more coffee and, since they’re clearly going to be here for a while yet, two slices of cake. Chu Shuzhi’s mouth ticks up in an unmistakable smile when he puts the plate in front of him.
It’s somewhere half-way through the cakes, while Guo Changcheng is trying to squint through two windows to see if the guy behind the counter at the laundrette is one of the suspects or not, that Chu Shuzhi next says something.
“There have been… offers,” he comments, so clearly trying for casual that Guo Changcheng’s heart hurts a little. “But…”
“You didn’t like any of them?” Guo Changcheng suggests.
Chu Shuzhi shrugs. “They didn’t like me,” he says, and then, seeing Guo Changcheng’s frown, clarifies, “They liked what I was, not who I was. They didn’t know me really, to even do that.”
It… Makes sense, sort of. Chu Shuzhi has more reasons than most to keep his secrets. And people drawn just for the ‘dark and dangerous’ outside he projects so well… Guo Changcheng gets it. He doesn’t think he’d like to have sex with someone like that either. He nods to show he understands.
Another two minutes of silence during which Guo Changcheng watches a group of friends carry several suitcases of dirty clothes, presumably, into the laundrette, and Chu Shuzhi watches him, follow.
“You like me,” Chu Shuzhi says eventually. There is something… contemplative in his voice. Like he’s solving a puzzle, sounding out the solution as he talks.
“Uhh…” Guo Changcheng doesn’t have it in him to even try to deny it.
“And you know me,” Chu Shuzhi adds. There’s a note of finality to it, as if he’s just laid down a closing argument in a legal case. He leans back, arms crossed and looks at Guo Changcheng expectantly.
Guo Changcheng, as is often the case, has no idea of what is expected of him.
“You said…” Chu Shuzhi does that fidgeting thing again, tapping a finger against an empty cup, his gaze wandering around the café, the street outside, the laundrette - Guo Changcheng really hopes nothing really important is happening there because neither of them is on top of their surveillance game right now – but returning to Guo Changcheng regularly. “You think I’m…” He clears his throat, something that looks awfully like a blush staining his cheeks, “…amazing.”
Guo Changcheng is nodding before Chu Shuzhi even stops talking because… Well. He did say it and he does think it and Chu Shuzhi deserves to know and… Wait.
Guo Changcheng’s brain screeches to a halt with all the grace of a train colliding with a mountain side. “What…? Are you…?”
Surely not? Surely, surely not? There is no way that Chu Shuzhi is saying what Guo Changcheng thinks he’s saying.
“Would you like to have dinner tonight?” Chu Shuzhi asks, every muscle locked in place, his face like granite, if granite was sort of pink. “At my place. I’ll cook.”
And. Well. Guo Changcheng is not the best at social cues but this one is not what one would call subtle. He opens his mouth and then snaps it shut. Because, honestly? His first instinct is to tell Chu Shuzhi to stop joking, that it isn’t funny. But for all his faults – which Guo Changcheng, contrary to popular belief, is not blind to – Chu Shuzhi isn’t cruel and he’s definitely not laughing.
Guo Changcheng’s second thought is to tell Chu Shuzhi that he doesn’t have to do this, now or at all, and if he decides to, anyway, he could definitely do better than…
Except. Except that’s not quite right. The current case does rather put an immediate deadline on things, and whilst Chu Shuzhi could have excused himself from it, the time to do that without everyone knowing why had long passed, which is clearly something he doesn’t want to do. It’s not fair, but then life rarely is. And hadn’t Chu Shuzhi just explained why he’d declined past offers, all the qualities he was looking for and didn’t find, all the qualities that Guo Changcheng, out of everyone, somehow possesses? To dismiss that is to dismiss Chu Shuzhi’s agency over the situation, something Guo Changcheng knows he’s never had a lot of to begin with.
Chu Shuzhi is asking him. But if Guo Changcheng says no, he knows Chu Shuzhi will go asking elsewhere.
Guo Changcheng doesn’t want to say no. He definitely doesn’t want Chu Shuzhi to do this with some stranger who won’t know him, won’t appreciate the goddamn privilege of…
The longer the silence stretches, the more shuttered Chu Shuzhi’s body langue gets. “Never mind,” he finally mutters. “You don’t…”
“I would love to,” Guo Changcheng blurts out. “I mean… Yes. That’s… Please.”
For a moment Chu Shuzhi freezes. And then, wondrously, all the tension seems to flow out of him like water. He relaxes back into his seat, a small smile blooming into a smirk as he regards Guo Changcheng with a mixture of gratitude and… Anticipation.
“So polite,” he murmurs. “Maybe you’ll say that to me again, later.”
Guo Changcheng swallows. He absolutely will.
***