kat_lair: (GEN - lights)
[personal profile] kat_lair
***

It's been a shitty few weeks. Personally speaking work is really, really challenging at the moment with a lot of interpersonal conflict and drama I'm having to mediate, and lot of organisational change that requires eighty million forms to make it happen. Globally speaking, the disaster of the US election results is opening up a cold pit of dread inside me for the environment, for the people, for anyone who is different, for anything that isn't economic growth. I'm looking for the strength and active hope in small things now, in the people around me, in how my neighbour took in a rescue cat, how I'm told I'm doing a good job at this Programme Directorship lark, how mum's test results were all clear, in the upcoming trip to New Orleans, and the small positive differences I can make.

But this post isn't really about the above, although it really is one in the long line of devastating things 2016 has thrown our way. I woke up this morning to the news of Leonard Cohen's passing. It's not really a surprise, given his advanced age, but it still cuts me like a knife to the heart. I can't begin to explain what his poetry, set to music or not, means to me. I am absolutely heart-broken. I can't bring myself to listen to these at the moment because if I do I'll just sit here and cry and I can't do that right now because I have a lot of work to get through but these are some my favourite ones and I know I will return to them, when time has softened a blow little.













***

on 2016-11-11 12:54 pm (UTC)
Posted by [identity profile] wpadmirer.livejournal.com
Take care of yourself. It is a huge loss with Cohen's death. I felt like that when Prince died, and I've only recently been better with it.

I don't think others understand how a musician can touch your life, and how hard it can be to lose him/her.

As for the US elections, yes, fucking mess. I found the perfect quite for it, "Never underestimate the power of stupid in large groups." George Carlin. Another brilliant mind I miss.

on 2016-11-12 04:46 pm (UTC)
Posted by [identity profile] kat-lair.livejournal.com
I am trying yes, small good things to cling to. Still can't make myself to actually listen to the songs though. As the commenter below says, there's blessing here that he passed before seeing the results of the US elections. Thank you for your caring.

on 2016-11-11 12:57 pm (UTC)
Posted by [identity profile] pushkin666.livejournal.com
*hugs you*. I know how much Cohen meant to you hun. You know 2016 can just do one. I'd like it to stop so I can get off.

on 2016-11-12 04:49 pm (UTC)
Posted by [identity profile] kat-lair.livejournal.com
*clings* Just his words... Like, if I ever get even close to the craft with which he wielded words, I'll be happy. And yeah, 2016 needs to just stop now.

on 2016-11-11 01:54 pm (UTC)
Posted by [identity profile] milly-gal.livejournal.com
Not all people understand how easily a musician can touch a soul and stay with that soul for the entire time it or they are here. *hugs*

on 2016-11-12 04:50 pm (UTC)
Posted by [identity profile] kat-lair.livejournal.com
His is the poetry that has touched me and stayed with me and awed me. I can't bear to listen to the songs yet. *clings*

on 2016-11-12 05:35 pm (UTC)
Posted by [identity profile] milly-gal.livejournal.com
I am heartbroken. There are some lights that should never go out. *clings back*

on 2016-11-11 04:14 pm (UTC)
Posted by [identity profile] deinonychus-1.livejournal.com
*sends hugs and good thoughts your way*

on 2016-11-12 04:51 pm (UTC)
Posted by [identity profile] kat-lair.livejournal.com
Thank you, darling. Both are very much appreciated at the moment.

on 2016-11-11 04:38 pm (UTC)
Posted by [identity profile] apiphile.livejournal.com
My brain woke me up in the middle of the night pretty much for the sole purpose of making me find this out. His is the very first music I remember. His is the music I chose for myself to listen to when I could only take a very few tapes with me to live in India for seven months. His is the voice that I listened to when I was more or less alone in a foreign country at five and I Lit A Thin Green Candle will never not remind me of Sabarkantha province and eoidfjwcoviajhdvohada it's really a shitter of a fucking year. I learnt how to write poetry from this man. He has no business leaving when I needed that.

on 2016-11-12 04:57 pm (UTC)
Posted by [identity profile] kat-lair.livejournal.com
*kicks this fucking year* It's the cumulative effect of everything. This came on top of everything else and just... Fuck his words. Like, I'm not particularly au fait about poetry or literature but whenever anyone asks about my favourite poet Leonard Cohen's name is the one that I say. There's such care and craft there. Work fuckery and stress has meant that I haven't been able to squeeze out anything like poetry for ages and right now it's like, well what the fuck is the point, he already said it all. Ugh.

on 2016-11-13 09:35 pm (UTC)
Posted by [identity profile] apiphile.livejournal.com
the point is that now he's not hear to say it, so it's very definitely our job to

on 2016-11-11 10:03 pm (UTC)
Posted by [identity profile] moth2fic.livejournal.com
An appalling week. Trump. (omg, how did that happen?) Cohen's death (I loved him too). Then just now I heard about Robert Vaughn. Like Cohen, he was getting old, but why did this year have to take so many people away all at once?

So sorry work is oppressing you. So glad your mum is OK.

I meant to email but in brief: C is back in Portugal; G is having nightmares with J's school; the puppy is still lovely; I have a new cleaning lady who is lovely too.

hugs you hard

on 2016-11-12 05:04 pm (UTC)
Posted by [identity profile] kat-lair.livejournal.com
The cumulative effect of all this shit, globally and personally (work needs to die an a fire right now) is really weighing me down. And it's like, rationally I know there are check and balances and hope and unity and all that, and really, honestly, I will get up and keep fighting the good fight, soon, but right now I just want a blanket fort and cookies.

Thank you for the brief news update. Sorry to hear about J's school nightmare. I'm especially glad your new cleaning lady is ace though, that's excellent.

*hugs back even harder*

on 2016-11-12 12:29 pm (UTC)
divingforstones: (Default)
Posted by [personal profile] divingforstones
Thank you for this post. Especially the links above. Beautiful array for pictures of him even before you open them. I was most distressed at the thought he would have died knowing about the US election result. It seemed so wrong that his life should end on that note.I was so relieved to find out it was Monday when the world lost him, so that at least he never knew. I'm with you on the trying to make positive steps thing. Take care of yourself xo

on 2016-11-12 05:07 pm (UTC)
Posted by [identity profile] kat-lair.livejournal.com
Thank you for your comment. There is indeed solace in the fact that he left before the election results, it would have just been the cruellest insult on the injury that already cuts too deep otherwise.

Any day now I'll feel strong enough to fight the good fight again, but right now I want cookies and blanket fort and friends and hugs. Take good care of yourself too.

on 2016-11-12 09:08 pm (UTC)
alafaye: (Default)
Posted by [personal profile] alafaye
*hugs*

on 2016-11-13 09:17 am (UTC)
Posted by [identity profile] kat-lair.livejournal.com
*squeezes hard* Thank you.

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